The Woman Who Loved Gardenias

 

by KatiKat

 

 

It was the lack of body warmth next to him that woke Tomomasa up. He opened his sleepy eyes and stretched lazily, his arm sliding over the empty space under the blanket. It was cold. He sat up on the futon, rubbing his eyes, and looked around. The door was open, allowing him to see the lonely figure, standing by the railing.

 

Tomomasa threw the blanket aside, snatched the white yukata lying by the futon, and standing up he slid his arms into the wide sleeves. He tied the thin garment closed with a white belt, pulled his long hair out of it and headed for the veranda where his lover was staring into the dark night.

 

Sometime during the night it had started to rain, the heavy downpour chasing away the stifling heat of the day. Tomomasa took a deep breath, stretched again, then shuddered as his bare feet touched the cold wood of the sheltered walkway. His lover still didn't acknowledge his presence, hugging himself tightly, obviously lost in his thoughts.

 

Tomomasa stopped behind him and laid his arms on the white clad shoulders. "Why aren't you in bed?" he whispered, then ran his hands down the stiff arms. He pulled the man closer and hugged him around the waist.

 

At first, Takamichi startled slightly, but then he relaxed in the General's arms and rested his back against the warmth of his lover. "I couldn't sleep," he said in a low voice then laid his head on the other man's shoulder and kept staring into the night.

 

Tomomasa turned his head and kissed the pale forehead of his lover. "It's still bothering you, isn't it?" he whispered, resting his cheek on Takamichi's head.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Your mother," Tomomasa said and feeling Takamichi shrug in answer, he continued. "Why didn't you ever tell me about her?" he asked, genuinely curious and worried at the same time.

 

Takamichi sighed deeply. "It was... is... so hard." He intertwined his fingers with Tomamasa's and his brown eyes clouded, his mind lost in the past. "I wasn't the easiest person to live with when I was a child. My father wanted a fighter, a warrior for son, a General like yourself. But I... I was more interested in old scrolls and books than in swords and battle tactics. He often lost his temper with me and then he called me names. Sometimes he even lifted his hand against me." Involuntarily, he shuddered.

 

The General kept silent, only pulling the younger man closer, making him feel safe and comfortable. He let him continue at his own pace, not pushing or pressing questions. It was a miracle in itself that Takamichi had even started to talk about the past, the reclusive man that he was.

 

Takamichi drew in a deep breath then continued. "And then one day a beautiful woman visited father's estate... I had never seen her before but I could feel her eyes on me all the time. One time I woke up during the night and found her standing in my doorway, watching me and crying." The younger man snuggled in his lover's embrace and continued in a whisper. "Back then, I didn't understand... now I think she was sad that I wasn't her son..."

 

"And then she was gone and before I knew it I was packed and on the way to her. Until then, I had never been to Kyou, I'd always lived on my father's estate in the country." Takamichi smiled a little. "I was pretty nervous but in the end, the next couple of years were the happiest in my life. I started to call the strange woman 'mother', at first because she wanted it but then the feeling behind those words was genuine and true. She was my mother in everything but blood. Even if she had given me birth we couldn't have been closer..." He fell silent, the last of his words said in the tone of a deep sadness.

 

Tomomasa tightened his hold to give his lover comfort, then kissed his forehead, creased by a frown.

 

"And then she died..." His voice hitched at the very end and he took a couple deep, cleansing breaths and gripped Tomomasa's hands in return. "The gardenias just started to bloom... they were her favorite flower. I covered her grave with them... After her death, I thought I would never love anybody so deeply, that I would never let anybody in the way I let her... It just hurt too much."

 

He pulled away from Tomomasa, turned around in the circle of his arms and rested his hands on the General's muscled chest. He looked his lover in the eyes, then raised one hand and laid it on Tomomasa's cheek gently. "But then I met you... and it was as if the sun started to shine again."

 

Tomomasa scowled at him in a mocking fashion. "Are you saying that you fell in love with me because I reminded you of your mother? Do I look like a woman?" he teased the smaller man gently, a smile tugging at his lips.

 

Takamichi laughed quietly. "No, there is nothing feminine about you." A pondering look entered his eyes. "Well, there are the earrings and the flower pattern on your kimono and..."

 

The General silenced him with a kiss that took his lover's breath. When he pulled away, Takamichi's cheeks were flushed, eyes afire. The young official leaned against him heavily as if only Tomomasa's hard body was keeping him upright.

 

Takamichi looked his lover in the eyes and caressed his cheek with his fingertips. "She would have liked you..." he whispered, returning back to the topic of their conversation. "You are kind and gentle and wise... a beautiful soul, just like her. That's what drew me to you at first," he admitted, then laid his head on the other's man's shoulder. "I always feel safe and loved when I'm with you..."

 

Hearing the soft admission from the usually stoic Minister, Tomomasa swallowed painfully and hugged his lover close, burying his nose in his beautiful hair. Safe and loved... Tomomasa couldn't have asked for more. And if he had something to say in that matter, it would stay this way. He would love and protect Takamichi until his last breath. And beyond...

 

The End