Dream Lover

 

by KatiKat

 

 

 

I'm not really sure when the dreams started. I didn't remember much of them, just a deep ache that gripped my heart, making me feel alone, lonely, adrift... I felt that something was escaping me, staying just out of my reach... I wasn't sure what it was, only that I wanted it, needed it desperately...

 

I didn't tell anybody about the dreams; I kept them for myself, not wanting to worry my friends. But the ache in my heart kept growing and with it my disquiet. Every morning I woke up more tired than I had been when I went to sleep. The Priestess commented on my paleness and the dark circles under my eyes caused even Tenma kept throwing worried glances my way.

 

And then... White hair... soft, so soft and smelling of freshly mown grass. That was the first impression, the first picture that stayed with me, the first thing I remembered from my dreams. I could almost feel it slide between my fingers, white silk.

 

After this first memory, others came more quickly... Clawed hands undressing me gently, sliding the yukatta from my shoulders, caressing my exposed skin... so pale against my sun tanned body. The claws running up and down my naked back; a sweet pain, on the verge of breaking my skin. Even in broad daylight, I could feel it, feel them, feel... the other person... so vividly that I hardened with the desire the stranger stirred in me, and a silent moan forced its way through my tightly closed lips.

 

I couldn't understand what was going on. This wasn't like me. This never happened to me. The flutter of desire in my underbelly that accompanied me from dawn to sunset only strengthened my disquiet, making me edgy and skittish. I felt the worried gazes of my friends burning into the back of my head, I saw their frowns, the glances they exchanged. They didn't understand it... me... either.

 

I suffered through the day and looked forward to the night, to my dreams. Although they always left me tired and on the verge of exhaustion, they became the only time when I truly lived. I didn't understand how I could know that since I didn't remember much of what happened in my dreams, but I was sure of it.

 

Even though the desire was more than a telltale sign, the memory of the lovemaking still came as a shock to me one morning. Me on my back, naked... my legs open and spread wide... giving the other... man for it must have been a man... unrestrained access to my body, exposing myself to him, rendering myself vulnerable to his wants and needs... The claws dug in my skin again as he caught me under my knees and lifted them up, licking my inner thighs with his rough tongue... trailing small kisses up my thighs to my crotch, engulfing me in his mouth... letting me feel pleasure I hadn't known before...

 

And when I woke up, I lay like that, with my clothes disheveled and my legs spread open, my manhood spent, pearly white liquid staining the covers and my naked chest...

 

Was it a dream or was it not? I still didn't see the other man's face although I could swear... I could swear that I knew him, that my heart knew him well...

 

Could it... could it be... HIM? The beautiful demon from the woods? My long time friend that died by my hand?

 

I told the Priestess about my dreams - or at least about the safe part of them, about dreaming of Nue. She thought they were the manifestation of the guilt I felt over his death, over my inability to save him the one time he needed me. Was it true? But if it was... how did my... relationship with him, how did lovemaking fit in? I had never thought about him that way. I had never made love to another man either... so, how could I know... the details...

 

It was Nue, the stranger in my dreams. The next night I saw his face, he looked me directly in the eyes as he took me, as he slid his manhood into me and stretched me wide open. That dream... the colors, the touches, the hot, burning desire, the smell of rain and forest... so vivid... I could have sworn that it was real...

 

His strong arms embraced me as he gave and took equally, bringing us chest to chest as he bit down on my neck hard enough to draw blood as we climaxed into oblivion, his snowy white wings sheltering us from the world... 

 

And as I fell asleep... or was it waking up?... I heard him whisper in my ear. "My savior..."

 

The morning air was crisp, the sun still reddish on the horizon when I opened my eyes. I shivered as the cold touched my heated but naked skin... I greeted the day with a frown since my body was hurting and aching all over, on the outside just as on the inside. I lifted my hand to touch the place where my dream lover bit down on my throat...

 

... and froze when my fingertips encountered a painful bruise, blood scabbed over in two places where Nue's canine teeth broke the skin. What the...? But before I could move or think or react in any way something caught my attention... something white, snowy white on the tatami next to my pillow...

 

I turned my head slowly, knowing what it would be but refusing the reality...

 

A feather. One single feather... long... too big for a bird's... but the perfect size for...

 

I closed my hand around it gently, not wanting to damage the delicate evidence of...

 

What?

 

After all, Nue was dead. He WAS dead. I killed him... with my own hands... so he was... he...

 

Wasn't he...?

 

WASN'T HE?

 

The End