by KatiKat
It took a while before Duoīs harsh sobs turned into hiccups, and finally into
soft, tired panting. They were still sitting on the floor, curled around each
other in a tight embrace. The dark, plaguing emotions had been released and
only a bone deep exhaustion stayed behind.
A strong gust of wind tore through the half open door, throwing it open fully.
The door hit the wall and remained wide open, allowing cold, autumn wind to
take residence in the hut. Duo shivered as the cool air touched his naked skin.
He hunched his shoulders and pressed himself even closer into Heeroīs chest,
loath to leave his safe sanctuary.
"Cold?" Heero asked, looking down at the small bundle in his arms.
Duo nodded, not looking up. "Letīs get you back into bed," the
Enforcer said, swiftly moving from his kneeling position into a crouch. Placing
his arms around Duo, Heero lifted the lifebearer up and settled him back onto
the bed.
Duo sat down carefully and tried not to wince; it still hurt. Heero tucked the
blankets around him and Duo snuggled into them. They couldnīt replace the
wonderful feeling of a human touch, but at least they made him feel warm on the
outside. He was convinced that he would never again get warm on the inside,
where it counted the most.
"Better?" Heero asked.
The lifebearer nodded. "Yes, thank you," he answered.
The Enforcer straightened and started to turn
around to close the door, when he felt Duoīs cold fingers on his wrist. He
looked down to see Duo watching the slowly drying blood on his injured hand
with sad eyes.
"I didnīt want to," Duo whispered
and turned the Enforcerīs hand palm up. Gently, he traced the gaping wound with
the tip of his finger.
"Itīs okay," Heero assured him. "Iīve been hurt worse." He
wanted to make Duo feel better with his answer, but obviously it didnīt work,
because Duoīs face twisted in a grimace of pain.
"Can I... can I help you bandage it?" the lifebearer asked, his eyes
still fixed on the sluggishly bleeding cut.
"No, itīs okay. I can take care of it myself," Heero tried to assure
him again. Seeing Duoīs shoulders slump dejectedly, he figured he had said the
wrong thing again.
Duo sighed and let the hand go carefully. It would be just perfect if he hurt
Heero even more. He brought the blankets tightly around him. He didnīt look up
when he heard Heero move away and close the door. Duo sighed again. Shinigami
paddled slowly towards him, then sat down by the bed and laid his head on his
blanket covered knee. The dogīs ears twitched and he whined in a low tone, his
eyes sad. Duo lifted his hand and laid it on the dogīs head, scratching gently.
Shini nuzzled his hand, then licked it. Duo looked at him, then smiled sadly.
"Iīm more trouble than Iīm worth, Shini," Duo whispered to the dog.
The lifebearer straightened in surprise when something fell into his lap. He
looked at it... Gauze?
Duo raised his eyes in time to see Heero drag
a chair closer to the bed. The Enforcer laid a bowl with warm water and a piece
of cloth in it, and the jar with ointment Trowa left behind, on the wooden
chair. Duo blinked in confusion at him again as Heero sat on the edge of the
bed next to him. The Enforcer rested his injured hand on Duoīs other knee, the
one that wasnīt occupied with the black dogīs head.
Seeing Duoīs confused look, Heero glared a little. "You wanted to bandage
it, right?" he asked harshly.
The lifebearer watched him for a minute, then smiled a little.
"Yeah," he answered and reached over to wring out the wet piece of
cloth.
The next couple of minutes were spent in silence. Carefully, Duo cleaned the
wound. It hadnīt been as deep as he feared. All the blood made it look bad but
once cleaned, the wound didnīt look that bad. It wasnīt deep, and from what Duo
could tell, it didnīt require stitches. He felt relieved.
"Itīs not bad," the lifebearer said to break the silence that settled
upon them.
"Told you so," Heero answered.
Throwing the cloth back into the bowl, Duo looked at Heero quickly before
lowering his eyes again. He then took the jar in his hand and opened it. Taking
a little of the ointment on the fingers of his right hand, he laid the jar
aside. Gently he took Heeroīs injured hand in his left and started to apply the
ointment on the wound. It felt good to help someone, but... He let the thought
trail off, uncertain.
"You know that you could... that you could get rid of me now, Heero?"
Duo asked quietly, not looking up. He felt Heeroīs eyes on him. "You could
just... go to the chieftain and say that youīre taking the claim back,"
Duo continued, his fingers gently rubbing the cut. "Itīs not a common
custom but..."
"Why would I do that?" Heero asked, his voice genuinely curious.
Duo blinked furiously to push back the tears. "I lost... I lost the
baby," he said as if that explained everything.
"So?"
Duoīs grip on Heeroīs hand tightened. "Some sires take it as offense, as a
breach of their right. Most sires claim lifebearers to have children
and..."
"Thatīs not the reason why I claimed you," Heero interrupted him.
Duo looked up, his eyes full of surprise. "No?"
Heero looked away, his eyes fixed somewhere on the wall above the fireplace.
"No."
Duo blinked again. He didnīt understand. "Then why...?"
"Your father wouldīve killed you if I hadnīt. for I know your childīs sire
wouldnīt have spoken out, and you wouldnīt have said anything," Heero
answered, his voice grave.
Duo swallowed. Did Heero know who the father of his child was? How...?
Heero must have felt the lifebearerīs eyes on him, for he turned his head and
looked Duo in the eyes.
"I saw you," he said quietly, as if
sensing what Duo was thinking about. "You and Wufei. In the woods."
Duo froze, his breath catching in his throat. They had been so careful...
"Itīs my duty to watch over people when they venture into the woods. The
forest is a dangerous place..."
"Why... why didnīt you say anything?" Duo asked, his voice tight.
Heero shrugged matter of factly. "It wouldnīt have changed anything, would
it? Chang is a coward if he didnīt speak up. Even if people would have learned
the truth... If the sire doesnīt claim his baby, it doesnīt matter if the whole
village knows. And he wouldnīt have done it. It would have made the situation
even worse for you. To have an unclaimed child is bad. But to have it with a
sire who isnīt free anymore..."
Duo swallowed and lowered his eyes. They wouldnīt have just killed him. They
would have stoned him to death. The same punishment that still hung over his
head, should Heero withdraw his claim back and return Duo to his family. The
lifebearer shuddered. To be stoned for shaming his family, either through
sleeping with a sire who belonged to another, or for losing his child and thus
proving himself to be unworthy of the status of a lifebearer. He shuddered
again.
"If you knew... about the shame I brought onto myself... then why did you
claim me?" Duo croaked out his question. He needed to know.
"Itīs a long time since I had sworn that I wonīt let anything happen to
you," Heero whispered, his injured hand encircling Duoīs cold fingers.
The lifebearer looked up, confused. "You swore? When? I donīt
remember!"
A small smile tugged on Heeroīs lips as he caressed the cold hand in his with
his thumb. "Obviously."
"What..."
"Duo, I wonīt take you back to the village. I wonīt withdraw my
claim," Heero said, his voice firm. "Trust me."
The lifebearer was looking at him, his eyes wide. Heero swore? Duoīs mind was
whirling.
"Trust me!" Heero repeated when the lifebearer kept silent.
Duo blinked. "I trust you, Heero," he answered finally, and was
surprised that he really meant it. Something deep inside of him was telling him
that he could trust his life and soul to this man, that Heero would never hurt
him.
"Good," Heero nodded. "Now, I want you to promise me
something."
Duo looked him in the eyes.
"Promise me that youīll never try to kill yourself again." The
lifebearer swallowed and looked away. But Heero caught Duoīs chin in his hand
and turned it back to him. "Promise me! I know that you never lie."
He didnīt react to the surprised look Duo gave him. "I need to know that
youīll never try to harm yourself again."
Duo didnīt know what to say. Heero knew that he never lied, but how did he
know? And if he promised, he would keep his promise no matter what. But...
Taking a deep breath, he made a decision. It was time to make the first step.
He looked Heero directly in the eyes and with a firm voice, he said: "I
promise."
This time Heero really smiled. "Good." He let go of Duoīs chin, and
looked down at his hand where the ointment was slowly drying and starting to
itch. "Can you finish the bandaging now? I have to go finish chopping the
wood."
Duo nodded and returned to his task, but his mind was busy. He had promised.
There wasnīt an easy way out anymore. He would have to pull himself together.
Heero made him promise, so there was one thing he had to live for now, one
reason why he couldnīt just die. He didnīt kid himself. The road that lay ahead
of him wouldnīt be easy but maybe... just maybe this decision was the first
step.
TBC