Lord of the Rings Song Parodies

               The Two Towers Pie - tune of "American Pie"

                  A long, long time ago
                  I can still remember how that council back in Rivendell
                  Decided to destroy the ring
                  So Bilbo gave me his sword Sting
                  And we bid the elves a very fond farewell

                  But my thoughts started getting clearer
                  With each day that we got nearer
                  I might not live through this
                  But I know I must do this

                  I know when Gandalf fell I cried
                  Cause I couldn’t keep the tears inside
                  I lost my mentor and my guide
                  From fate, I cannot hide

                  Refrain:
                  The ring, ring, such a tiny, wee thing
                  It’s so strange that it should cause us all so much suffering
                  I think it’s taking hold cause now I’m starting to sing
                  I’ll destroy it in “Return of the King”
                  Destroy it in “Return of the King”

                  I’ve been sad since I was torn
                  From Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn
                  I had to set out on my own
                  Ah, but they came up with a real great plan
                  To track the orcs across the land
                  Well, they went together so they’re not all alone
                  Well, I hope they find my hobbit friends
                  Cause I’d like to see them both again
                  They traveled day and night
                  Just to save them from their plight
                  They went into the woods to find that pair
                  What a sight they found, they had to stop and stare
                  Cause they saw Gandalf standing there
                  I bet they were surprised

                  I started singin’
                  (Refrain)

                  Now for three days we’ve been going round
                  In circles, I think Sam almost frowned
                  But that won’t help to get us there
                  When a creature came for the precious ring
                  And I said, “Remember your friend Sting?”
                  And his voice, it gave us such a scare
                  Oh, and Gollum said he knew the way
                  And so we went without delay
                  We went up to the border
                  Into the land of Mordor
                  But when we got there the gate was closed
                  Our hiding spot was near exposed
                  We’ll never make it I supposed
                  And yet I have to try

                  We were singing’
                  (Refrain)

                  Back in Rohan, not everything was well
                  Because Theoden was under a spell
                  All he could do was sit and drool
                  So Gandalf came and rescued him
                  Then Wormtongue started looking mighty grim
                  Cause he saw that everyone knows he’s a fool
                  Now Theoden would not go to war
                  Though evil lurked outside his door
                  The tension was increased
                  Oh, when Aragorn saw his niece
                  Cause the elf necklace he’d always worn
                  Made Eowyn feel so forlorn
                  See how she looks at Aragorn
                  Her love can’t be disguised

                  We started singin’
                  (Refrain)

                  Oh, and there they were all in Helm’s Deep
                  The Rohan people couldn’t sleep
                  With Saruman outside the gate
                  So come on, get your weapons, everyone
                  This probably won’t be much fun
                  Cause his army seems unusually irate
                  Oh, the enemy did not retreat
                  But the king would not admit defeat
                  They battled through the night
                  But could they win this fight?
                  Well, the enemy blew up the wall
                  But there they met their downfall
                  Because Gandalf came to join the brawl
                  The end was now in sight

                  We were singin’
                  (Refrain)

                  The Ents demolished Isengard
                  By flooding Saruman’s backyard
                  Pippin and Merry told them to
                  I want to see my friends someday
                  But from my quest I must not stray
                  Cause I’m finally close to what I have to do

                  And someday they might tell our tale
                  Supposing that we do not fail
                  But Gollum might destroy us
                  It’s starting to annoy us
                  Cause in his head he did decide
                  That he might commit homicide
                  But I’ve got Samwise by my side
                  And we’ll destroy the ring

                 And we were singing’
                 (Refrain)

                We were singin’
                The ring, ring, such a tiny, wee thing
                It’s so strange that it should cause us all so much suffering
                I think it’s taking hold cause now I’m starting to sing
                I’ll destroy it in “Return of the King”