Undeniable - A Love Denied

A Love Denied
by Zarah

Piper opened her eyes into the darkness of her bedroom, exhausted after hours of fitfully trying to will herself to sleep. With an annoyed sigh, she sat on her bed, the covers sprawled over her nightgown in a swirl of blankets and bedspreads. She was alone that night, for Leo was earlier called on for a mission by the elders, and won’t be back until late the next day. She glanced at her clock, and then sighed again as she read the digital numbers clearly, it’s deep green luminescence a contrast to the blackness of the evening. It was only two in the morning, which meant that she would wait for at least five hours before the sun finally rises. She rolled to the other side of the bed to fetch her robe, and then she placed it over herself as she stood up to go to the kitchen. She was going to make herself some tea, and maybe after three cups or so she could go back to bed and finally sleep.

She stepped outside her bedroom, and soon she felt the coldness that seemed to cloak the inside of the house. She clutched at her robe tighter, trying to make herself warm with the thin layers of her outside clothing. With determined steps, she managed to go down to the kitchen without making any unnecessary noise.

Within minutes, the light in the kitchen was lit, and a kettle of green tea was already steaming by the stove. Piper, who was by then sitting on one of the chairs, raked her hand through her hair. It was the fourth time that week, the fourth time in a row in which she hasn’t been able to sleep for the night. She had no idea why she had become so restless lately, all she knows was that she was weakened and tired with all the long hours of sleep she’s been losing.

The whistle of the kettle came, and quickly she turned the fire down. The smell of the green tea was an inviting one, and the steam that came from the kettle as she poured herself a cup was a welcomed source of warmth. She placed her hands on either side of the cup, and closed her eyes as she let the hot tea heat her cold hands. With a slight smile and the cup of tea in her hands, she turned around…

…and collided with him.

The shriek that came from her was a mixture of surprise and horror, for she had spilled her tea all over his chest. The horror on her face increased when she took in his pained expression.

“Oh, my God…” She said, as she quickly retrieved a towel from the counter. With soft motions, she tried to wipe away the tea from his shirt. “I’m… I’m so sorry…”

Without any words, he took both her hands, and held them in his own. The towel now completely forgotten, it fell onto the floor, alongside the broken cup, the white cloth streaked with spots of green liquid. It was a silent witness to the two people in the kitchen, two people whose faces were now twisted into the masks of their true feelings for each other.

She raised her eyes to find his looking down at her with a mixture of longing and desire.

“Piper,” he breathed out, his voice thick with unsuppressed emotions. His hands tightened it’s hold on hers, the warmness of his skin penetrating the coolness of hers as he brought it down to his chest, until her hands were facing it, both palms down. She could feel the tepidness of the tea, the heat of his skin, the beat of his heart.

She could feel him beneath the palm of her hands.

“Piper,” he breathed out again, his breath hot and sweet.

She closed her eyes, and lowered her face until her forehead rested on his chin. Their bodies were but inches apart, and she could feel him, every inch of him, pressed against her body. She could feel his lips on her forehead as it mumbled something incomprehensible, as it teased her skin until it became flush with want. She swallowed hard, the need in her threatening to consume her entire being.

And yet, she fought the urge to take his kiss. She fought the urge to look again in his eyes, and read the bold love that was etched in there. She fought to urge to raise her face and celebrate the love that had bloomed suddenly between them.

She fought so hard until, without her knowing it, her tears came, her final defense in the war she was raging within herself.

He stiffened at the sound of her sobbing, and he pulled away to find her crying against him. He lifted a finger to wipe away her tears with his thumb. “Piper… why the tears?” He then leaned in close to kiss her wet cheeks, his tongue coming out and tasting the salty rain that covered the sweetness of her skin.

She loved the feel of his lips against her skin, as it moved from her cheeks to her eyes, until it hovered very near her mouth. When he was about to kiss her, she suddenly moved away. In a blur of moments, her back was suddenly turned to him; her face hidden among layers of hair.

“We… we can’t.” She whispered, pain coloring her voice. “We… just… can’t keep doing this.”

“Why…?” His voice was rough with confusion, and he let his hands fall onto his sides, even though God knows how much he wanted to pull her close to his body. His eyes were filled with questions as he looked at her, and it pained him to see her like that; so sad, so fragile, so vulnerable.

“This… this is wrong…” she mumbled, closing her eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears that were threatening to come. She wrapped her hands around herself as she shivered against the cold evening. “This is just… wrong…”

Suddenly, he was behind her, his arms encircling her, imprisoning her against his hard body. “It’s not,” he said against her hair as he took in the scent of her.

“But…”

“Shh.” He turned her around. "It's going to be alright." This time she did not fight. This time, she allowed his lips to claim hers, and when they met everything seemed to just melt away. The feeling of him, with her, made the rest of the world disappear. The moan that sounded in the quiet, still night was neither hers or his, but theirs. In that single kiss, there was the union of hearts. In the union of bodies, there was the union of souls.

Eventually, their movements seized. Eventually, they were no longer feeding each other with ardent kisses, but holding each other as they danced in the tune of a music that only they can hear. Piper leaned her face into his chest, until she could hear the rhythmic beating of his heart.

“I don’t want this to end…” she whispered to him. “I don’t want this to end… but we’re risking too much.” Fear hammered in her heart as she voiced out her innermost dread. “I… I think Phoebe… she knows, Cole. She… she…”

“She can’t stop this, Piper.” He answered. “No one can.”

“She talked to me,” she continued, as if she hasn’t heard him. “Phoebe already suspects that you… feel… for someone else. And it… it nearly killed me, Cole. To see her like that, broken… scared… all because of this. Because of us. She loves you too much. Probably as much as I do…” Piper faced him, tears sparkling in her eyes. “She’s scared of losing you, because she loves you too much…”

“She already did.” He mumbled softly. “The day I fell for you, Piper… it’s the day she lost me.”

“I… I’m scared, Cole…” Her hands trembled slightly. “I’m scared… if she knew about us… and... and Leo? What about him...?” Phoebe’s tear-stricken face suddenly flashed before her eyes, and Leo's kind smile followed. To continue this affair is to lose them both, but if she was to stop this, then she would lose the man she loves...

What is she to do?

“If they did…” He softly spoke, his words soothing her, “If they knew about us, then there would be no point in denying it, is there? God knows how much we’ve been avoiding this… how much we’ve denied ourselves, our feelings. To deny it any longer would be driving us both insane!”

"And isn’t this insanity?” Piper told him. “We’re… we’re destroying them. We’re breaking them and this family apart. And all for what? For us?” She shook her head. “We can’t just think of ourselves. We can't be too selfish to just damn the consequences! We just can't be like that!"

“I can’t lose you…” he said fiercely, his eyes flashing as if to prove his point. “I won’t."

“You have to,” she said, finally. “Because I’m letting go.” She met his eyes, and it pained her to see the anguish she knew was also written in hers. But this was madness; this was asking for too much. There were just too much at stake, and sacrifices must be made. They had to sacrifice this. “I’m letting you go.”

“Piper-”

“Cole… I love you.” She whispered to him. “I love you so much… please don’t’ doubt that.” She raised her hand and she cupped his cheek, and immediately he kissed her palm, a plea for her to stop. She felt herself crumble, and yet, she found the courage to continue on. “I love you so much, and that's why I'm doing this. I don’t want to lose both of you, and if we continue this, I will. I can't bear that.” She began to turn away. "I can't... live with that."

“Piper, please…”

“Goodbye, Cole.” She said, her very soul breaking with every breath she took. With one last, wistful look, she left the kitchen…

… and her heart with him.

End