Maria: Liz, today is the first day of the rest of our lives
Liz: Spending time with your mother again?
Maria: No, I mean it. Aren't you tired of being a slave to men?
Liz: Definetely your mother
Maria: Tired of spending every waking moment pining over them
just for us to get our harts crushed in the end? It's time to branch out. To explore other possibilities. You and me, babe, together.(she starts to unbutton her uniform)
Liz: Wait, Maria, what are you...
Liz (seeing Max walking into the eraser room): Who's Max meeting
in the eraser room?
Maria: Ixnay on ining-pay, remember?
Liz: No, I am not pining, I'm just...I'm just curious. That's all. I hate not knowing what's going on with Max.
Maria: His decision if I recall.
(They see Michael going into the eraser room)
Maria: No wonder he couldn't make a commitment
Isabel (to Max and Michael): I can't believe I'm in the eraser room with you two.
Maria (to Liz): My idea of the great oudoors is rolling the windows down on the way to the mall
Alex: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like so miraculous, you know. This is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life.
Liz: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, ok?
Alex: It's just...it's amazing, you know? I...it's totally amazing. It's...it's too amazing. Oh, God! It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it. You bastards.
Liz: Alex, Alex, Alex, um, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in
.
Alex: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself
Maria: See what I'm saying? These checkoslovakians have way too
weird of an effect on us. And if you don't stay away from them,
Liz, I'm gonna be picking up the pieces of your heart for the rest of your life
Liz: No, you're not, because I AM staying away from him, Maria.
Max and I haven't even talked to each other for days
Maria: Really?
Liz: Yes.
Maria: Then why has he been staring at you since he came in?
Liz: He has?
(Maria sighs. Liz turns and looks at Max)
Maria: Am I going to have to do an intervention with you? Liz,
make him think that you are over him, that your life is so exciting. Lie if you have to. It's for your own good.
Max: Haven't seen you in a couple days
Liz: I...uh, it's been kinda busy
Maria: Actually, she means she's been kinda busy, we've
both...been kinda busy
Michael (looking at her "new" breasts): Yeah, I can see that.
Maria: You know, getting ready for the big weekend
Max (with a jealous look to Liz): You have a big weekend?
Maria: Dates. We have dates. With men
Michael: Men?
Maria: These college guys that we've met during the winter break,
and they're taking us out for dinner..an expensive dinner
Max (hurt): Great. Well, have a good time (walks out)
Maria (seeing Alex coming to talk to Isabel): Oh, great. another one being sucked into the alien abyss
Isabel (to Max): Mosquitos, pit toilets, and animal droppings. Yes!
Phillip: Well, I can't say it doesn't make me happy to see you two joining in like this.
Isabel: Well, that's our new policy, dad. We're joiners. Right, Max?
Max: Joiners.
Maria (to Liz and Max): I figured you guys would be having a little woodsy tryst. (to Isabel) I hope you're here to talk them out of this too
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