Maria (to Liz): Here, you can have this. And any time you feel yourself spiraling out of control, you put 4 drops under your tongue, ok? (sees Max walking in their direction) Now would be a good time
Isabel: Something's up with Michael. He's acting weird
Max: Weirder than...usual?
Maria: You and me, Liz. We've gotta stick together, all right. We
have to hold our ground. No matter how much they try to charm us,
they're like a drug and we just have to say "No".
Liz: Maria, I try and stay away, but...I can't help myself. [Max
walks in]. He obviously feels the same way
Maria (to Liz): Ok, [picks up the pan] Do you remember that commercial where the girl picks up the pan and bashes up the kitchen? Ok, this is your brain on Max.
Maria (after seeing Valenti and her mom flirting): Excuse me while I go and throw up.
Amy (to Michael): Ooh, my favorite little wrestler
Maria: He's [Valenti] that type, you kow, that guy, that tough guy who like can't open up or admit he has emotions, or admit that he...needs you, you know. Those are the most dangerous of them all, I promise
Amy: Don't worry, honey, Michael will come around
Maria: Mich..what?..I was not...I din't say one thing about Michael
Amy: Sure, you didn't
Maria: I meant, hypothetically
Amy: Whatever, honey
Maria: Just...just take it slow, all right? Once they get physical, you know, once they get what they want...they disappear
Amy: I hope you're not talking from experience
Maria: Just yours
Isabel: Would it kill you to ask for help just once in your life?
Michael: Yeah, you know what? It would
Maria (yealling at Michael): What are you doing out there? No, you can't come in. No. I know why you're here, I know what your plan is, I know what you want. But it's not gonna work this time, no matter what you say. My answer is "No". NO, NO,NO,NO,NO!
[Next scene: she's drying Michael off]
Amy: My baby girl is having sex
Maria: I am not having sex
Amy: Then what exactly did you do?
Maria: Nothing. We just slept
Amy: Yeah, I know that one. I used that one
Maria: You act like I have no self control
Amy: Oh, yes, because teenagers are known for self control.
Especially teenage boys
Maria: Michael is not like that, ok. Well, sometimes he is, but...
Amy: What?!
Maria: But not last night. He was upset about something. I don't
know what he was upset about, but sex was like the last thing on his mind
Amy: Oh, thank you, there is a God
Liz (to Maria): What you said about Max really made sense and I've been sticking to it. And you'd be so proud of me. Just last night I said it really clearly, "No". Of course, Max wasn't there but when he is there, I'll be ready for him.
Maria: He [Michael] was with me last night.
Liz: What? He spent the night? Maria, what happened to "No"?
Maria: You know the boy that I slept but didn't sleep with?
Amy: Unfortunately the shock has indelibly printed his face on my
brain
Maria: He's in jail
Amy: Oh, this just gets better and better, doesn't it?
The Driver (to Michael): If you were an alien and could go anywhere in the world, would you pick Roswell?
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