MARIA: Is that so hard?
MICHAEL: What?
MARIA: Acting like a real couple, kissing, arms around each other's shoulders, actually excited to see one another.
MICHAEL: Overrated.
LIZ: Maria, would you mind?
MARIA: Go ahead.
LIZ: Thank you.
MARIA: Live the life I so desperately want.
MICHAEL: It's kind of immature, really.
MARIA: Really.
MICHAEL: Just a couple of horndogs looking for a place to make out. I mean, we don't need that. We got my apartment, you know?
ISABEL: I guess I'll just have the special.
MICHAEL/MARIA: Uhh...we're closing early
(Max and Liz are kissing in Max's jeep in a secluded woodsy area)
LIZ: Do you mind missing the movie?
MAX: I heard it got bad reviews.
(Michael and Maria are making out on Michael's couch in his apartment)
MICHAEL: Maria....Maria.
MARIA: Michael.....Oh, Michael..... Max!
MICHAEL: What?!
ALEX: Would that be, you know, alien normal, or just plain "we're the subjects of an FBI manhunt" normal?
ALEX: So, you've noticed them, too, huh? Liz and Max and Michael and Maria.
ISABEL: It's kind of hard not to with all the face-sucking going on.
TESS: Well, the guys are usually nice because they want to jump my bones. And the girls are usually nice because they want to find out if I want to jump their boyfriends' bones. You must get that a lot.
MICHAEL: So, now she says what we've got isn't good enough. She wants more.
MAX: You mean like...
MICHAEL: No. If that's what she wanted, would I be here talking to you?
MICHAEL: I'm serious, Max. Things are getting frosty. She went to the French club meeting today instead of meeting me in the eraser room. The French club...what the hell is that?
ISABEL: Well, it's not like I'm going to fall in love with her and tell her our secret and compromise our very existence.
(A flower deliveryperson shows up at the Crashdown)
DELIVERY GUY: I've got a delivery for one of the waitresses.
MARIA: Really? De Luca?
DELIVERY GUY: Uh, Parker...Liz Parker.
MARIA: Oh. Just let me have 'em.
DELIVERY GUY: You're Liz Parker?
MARIA: What, I don't look like a girl who gets flowers everyday?
DELIVERY GUY: Your tag says Maria.
MARIA: Just give me the flowers. Go. No tip.
(Maria walks over to Liz)
MARIA: Hey, Gidget. You got some flowers from moondoggie.
LIZ: I did? Oh, my God. Wow.
(Maria looks over Liz's shoulder as Liz opens the note)
LIZ: Maria.
MARIA: Come on. Just let me see what I'm missing, please.
LIZ: Alex, I mean, she was so scared. I've never seen anyone that scared before.
ALEX: Taken a look at me lately?
MARIA: How many light-years away is my Eclipse Burger?
MICHAEL: Depends how they feel about raw.
MARIA: I put that order in 10 minutes ago.
MICHAEL: Well, you can't rush an Eclipse.
MARIA: It means, Michael, that I'm not gonna settle for the Saturn Rings anymore. If you want me, you have to earn me. That's how a relationship works.c MICHAEL: No, Maria, that's how Boy Scout merit badges work.
(Alex walks into the employee area of the Crashdown looking for Liz and Maria)
ALEX: Oh, whoa! Peep shows!
MARIA: Ooh, Alex. Don't worry. It's nothing you haven't seen before.
ALEX: Ah, well, don't be too sure. So, um, in this bag I have tonight's entertainment. I got a box of raisinettes and Scream 2.
LIZ/MARIA: Hated it.
ALEX: Ok, well, that's why my chick flick back-up rental was Notting Hill.
MICHAEL: This is for you.
MARIA: Shampoo.
MICHAEL: Shampoo AND conditioner in one.
MARIA: It's a real timesaver.
ALEX: You 2 have plans?
TESS: Girls' night.
ALEX: Guess I've got the wrong hormones for that.
TOPOLSKY: I need to know that you will take me with you when your people come to get you.
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