DJ: Hey, what's running through your mind right now, Liz?
Liz: Oh, uh, yeah, nothing I can say on live radio
Max: We didn't break up, Kyle
Kyle: Max, Max, Max, don't lie to yourself like that.
Max: We didn't break up because we were never together
Kyle: She really did a number on you, didn't she? But I've come to realize that's her pattern. She's a man-eater. And I pity the fool that the radio station fixes her up with 'cause she's gonna fall in love and then the hunger begins all over again.
Alex (to Maria): We are hight school geeks and we like it like that
Kyle: [jumping]Evans!Evans! We're a little drunk
Max: Well, then you better be quite before the neighbors call the
police
Kyle (to his friends): Boys, you listen to my friend Max. He knows how to evade the law
Kyle: How much did you chug?
Max: [shows with fingers how much]This much
Kyle: What a wussie
[they both laugh]
Max: Did you just call me a wussie?BR>
Kyle: I believe I did.
Max: Do you see that mailbox? I'll beat you to it. On your mark...
Kyle: Mm!
Max: Go!
Kyle: It's "get..." You said--you skipped "get set!" You bastard! Max, where are you? Evans? Evans! Evans?
Kyle (looking for Max): [whistles] Here, Maxie, Maxie, Maxie
Max: I've been keeping all this stuff inside. Not confronting the
horrible truth of it all. I've been hiding for years, Kyle...Years. But it's time the real Max comes out
Kyle: You wouldn't be gay, by any chance, would you?
[they both laugh]
Max: You're funny, Kyle. You're really funny..no matter how much
of a jackass you're being, you always know how to turn a phrase
Kyle: You think I'm a jackass?
Max: Yeah, see, see? Secret-keeper Max would never say it to your
face, but the real Max...he will tell you everything he thinks. No inhibitions. You should try it
Kyle: Ok, so let's be brutally honest with each other here, shall we. You and Liz are in love
Max: [smiles] No flies on you, Kyle
Kyle: Ok, so then why aren't you together?
Max: The problem is that I'm a serious, dark-haired, mystery man
from an exotic place
Kyle: [chuckles]But that's exactly what she wants.
Max: Women
Kyle: Yeah, go figure
Max: We're gonna win her back
Kyle: We are?
Max: We're gonna show her how we feel about her and she'll forget
all about Mr.Shallow and will come back to us
Kyle: Shellow
Max: Come on [runs off]
Kyle: How do we split her up exactly? Every other week? Mondays,
Wednesdays, Fridays, alternate Saturdays?
Doug: I mean, who are you gonna find in the town like this anyways? An alien?
Max: [drawing the heart on the wall] It's a symbol of my love. This is where I blew it with her. So, this is where I'll make things right. [finishes] Done
Kyle: Nice, nice. Girls always like meaningful stuff like that. I suck at that. So, tell me. Does it really get you farther?
Max: What do you mean?
Kyle: You know...farther. All right, listen, I'll tell you if you tell me. How far did you and Liz get?
Max: [smiles] We saw into each other's soul. [sighs]...How about
you?
Kyle: Second base
Max: Well, we can't win them all
Kyle: Liz's bedroom. It's Mecca
Doug: Who are these guys?
Kyle: We're the exes. The rejects
Max: [walks over and stands next to Kyle] Actually, if you must
know, we're here to win her back
Liz: Kyle, what did you do to him?
Max (to Kyle): Now, don't you go and tell her everything I've been talking about tonight. It's private
Kyle: Oh, your secret is safe with me, pal
Liz: Uhm, look, uh, Kyle, anything that Max has told you or
anything you've seen him do tonight, it's a lie. See, Max, he has this problem: he..when he's drunk he has a tendency to make things up, [looks at Max] right, Max?
Max: But this is the first time I've ever been drunk
DJ: This is the strangest blind date I've ever been on as I enter with Liz Parker, her dream date Doug Shellow, and not one but two of her ex-boyfriends Lyle...
Kyle: Kyle!
DJ: And Max.
Max (to Doug while trying to touch his hair): I think you'd look better as a blond
DJ (to Liz): Will it be Doug, the dream man we chose for you,
ex-boyfriend Lyle...
Kyle: Kyle!
DJ: Or Max who kidnapped you and vandalized your home? [to
guys] What do you have to say for yourselves, men?
Doug: I thought you just wanted a normal date
DJ: Ok, go for it, Kyle
Kyle: Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated...and I think I'm gonna
puke
DJ: All right, well, convince her, Max
[Max kisses Liz]
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