Michael sat across the table from Isabel and Tess. Max sat beside him. A plate of eggs and bacon, covered in Tabasco sauce sat in front of him.
"I'm sorry Michael," Isabel said awkwardly. "Maria, she doesn't deserve this."
"You shouldn't tell me you're sorry," Michael said as he shoveled his food into his mouth, trying to sound nonchalant. "You should tell her. I'm not the one who's dying."
"I really don't see how you can take this so cooly," Isabel replied. "Not after you know that she's going to die and be gone from you forever. My God, if this happened to Alex...." her voice trailed off as she had to squeeze her eyes shut, blocking the tears that came at the very thought.
Michael didn't answer, just continued to eat his breakfast. Isabel got ahold of herself. She looked at Michael across from her, who was really no more than a shell of a man at the moment, and said, "Go to her Michael. I know we agreed to walk away, but for God's sake, go to her. This is more important."
"No," Michael said, trying to sound firm. "No. I can't help her Isabel. In going to her, I can't take away her illness. All I can do is bring pain, misery. It would be better to let her die in peace." His throat constricted at the word 'die', but nobody seemed to notice.
"I, for one, admire Michael for this," Tess was cutting in. "He knows our destiny doesn't involve some outsiders, some humans. This doesn't change anything, Maria's still not one of us, none of them are."
Michael wanted to take the plate his breakfast sat on, and smash it over Tess's pretty blonde head, but he said nothing. Just continued to eat. And to try and ignore the aching pain in his chest that was his heart breaking.
*****************
Michael spent the next week, locked in his apartment. He had nothing better to do, no reason to leave. School didn't start for another week, and even then, what was the point? There would be no more meetings with Maria in the eraser room. No, he had nothing more to do, but sit and stare at the lone picture he had of her, and contemplate ways to kill himself.
He had no contact with anyone but those few impassioned phone calls from Isabel, telling him to go see Maria, let her know he really cared. Now, when he heard her voice on the other end of the phone line, he hung up. He always felt himself beginning to waiver and consider the possibility of going to see her. It couldn't happen. It wasn't right for Maria.
He sat on the couch, her picture beside him. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. He showered, brushed his teeth and took care of himself, but it was all routine. Deep down, he didn't care if he lived in filth. In fact, he didn't care of he lived at all.
There was a knock on the door. Michael barely glanced over. Max, Isabel and Tess knew to stay away. He didn't really care to talk to anyone else. They would go away eventually.
The knock came again, more insistent this time. Michael sighed. Maybe it was the landlord. It been awhile since he had paid his rent. Was it time again?
It was practically a banging on the door now. Slowly, Michael stood and shuffled over to the door. Slowly still he opened it.
A fist that connected with his eye caught him by surprise and knocked him off balance. As he recovered, another blow caught him in the stomach.
Michael tried to look at who his assailant was, but the person had strode past him into the apartment. He slowly turned, rubbing his eye to find Liz Parker standing in his living room.
"Liz," he managed to get out in surprise. "What the.....?"
She cut him off furiously, "You asshole."
"Pardon me?" Michael asked in surprise, not sure he heard right.
"You asshole," she repeated with venom in her voice. "You, Michael Guerin, are the scum of the earth, and the universe at that."
"Why?" he said, closing the door behind her. Not sure what she was doing here.
"Why?" she asked sarcastically. "Why? You have the nerve to ask. By now, I'm sure you're aware that my best friend is dying. Remember Maria? Your quote unquote "girlfriend" of previous weeks? The girl who loves you? Yup, that's her."
"I heard," Michael said, not sure what she wanted to hear from him. "A brain tumour."
"Yeah, a brain tumour," Liz said angrily. "She could die any day. And what do you do? You avoid her, you don't come to see her. You don't even call. Basically, Michael, you proved everything bad we ever thought about you."
"It was for her own good," Michael said, "She doesn't need me to bring her more pain and hurt. I made the choice to be out of her life when I walked away from her, just like you did with Max."
Liz didn't seem too understanding. "I agree," she snapped, "You should stay away from her. You are an unfeeling bastard, and you're nothing but bad news."
"Then why are you here?" Michael asked, "If I'm such an asshole, why do you hate me for staying away from Maria?"
"Because she doesn't hate you," Liz said, her anger deflating. "In spite of all this, she loves you. And she won't be around for long, and she's moping not because of that, but because she won't ever see you again. You are what will make her happy, and that is all I care about right now."
"I can't," Michael said hoarsely. He realized that this wasn't only about staying away from her. He was afraid to see her when he would just have to give her up again, this time not by choice.
"You can you idiot, and you will," Liz said indignantly, "If you're really doing what's best for her, go to her. She's a lot worse Michael. You are the only thing she wants before she dies. Alex and I, we're no substitute. I'm not leaving here without you."
Michael struggled within himself. It was a few moments before he asked. "Where is she?"
"Her house," Liz said quickly.
He was out the door quickly. Liz followed slowly behind, grabbing his keys for him. ******************
Michael knocked on the door of Maria's house not long after the confrontation with Liz. He stood, his hands shoved in his pockets, waiting for someone to come.
Maria's mother Amy opened the door to him. For a moment, she said nothing just stared at him. Finally, as she stood aside to let him in, she asked, "What took you so long?"
"I was a fool," Michael said bluntly, walking quickly past Amy. His simple answer seemed to appease her.
"She's in her bedroom," Amy said when he paused. "And Michael?" she said, causing him to turn again and face her. "Thank you for coming. You don't know how much it means to my daughter, especially when...she doesn't have much time left." She choked on the words.
"Not as much as it means to me Mrs.DeLuca," he said softly, turning again to go see Maria.
****************
Maria sat on a chair, staring out the lone window in her little bedroom. The lamp was the only light in the room. The sky outside was, by contrast, bright and welcoming.
Hesitantly, Michael walked through the open door, wondering for a moment if Liz and Mrs.DeLuca hadn't deceived him. If maybe, perhaps, Maria would throw him out when she saw him.
"I'm still not hungry mom," she said in a bleak voice as he knocked on the door he had already entered. "Maybe later, but not now."
Michael cleared his throat, letting her know it wasn't her mother standing at the door, wanting to see her. He didn't say anything. Maria stood from her chair, and turned slowly.
Michael forced himself not to flinch from the sight of her. She had gotten thin, too thin. There were dark circled under her eyes, sharply noticable against her pale skin. She truly looked sick.
But she was still beautiful to him.
"Michael," she said in a hoarse voice when she recognized her visitor. She stared at him in amazement. "I didn't think you'd come."
"Neither did I," he admitted gently, taking a step towards her. "It wasn't that I didn't want to Maria, believe me. I just didn't think it would be right for you. Liz made me see the error of my ways, but I would have realized it myself eventually."
"It doesn't matter," she said in a voice choked with emotion. "I do....I don't have the luxury of time to be angry. All I care about right now is that you are here, with me."
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
In two steps Michael had taken her in his arms. He held her tightly, wanting to memorize the feel of her, never wanting to let her go. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of her, committing it to memory.
"I was so afraid," she said, her voice muffled by his shirt as she squeezed him as tight as he did her. "I was so scared I wouldn't see you again, ever. I had every person around me but the one I loved the most."
Michael felt his heart breaking again, realizing exactly what his staying away had cost her. He realized that it may have been too late, and he never would have gotten this chance to be with her.
"I'm so sorry," he managed to choke out. "You don't know how much Maria. But maybe, we can do something. Maybe you'll end up being allright. Miracles can happen."
She shook her head, "Michael, as hard as it's been, I've accepted it. I'm going to d...I'm not going to be here much longer." she looked up at him with teary eyes. "I can't expect another miracle, when God's always given me one in you."
"You're killing me Maria," Michael said in an emotional voice, hugging her all the tighter. "Do you have any idea at all about how much I love you?"
"Yes," Maria said softly. "Even if it's only a fraction of what I feel for you. Even after you walked away, I couldn't forget, or let you go."
"I'm going to miss you," Michael said, stroking her blonde hair. "Who else am I going to drag into the eraser room between classes? Who am I going to get visions of as a child? How else am I going to find someone willing to follow me to the ends of the universe, no matter the danger?"
Fly, fly precious one Your endless journey has begun Take your gentle happiness Far too beautiful for this Cross over to the other shore There is peace forevermore But hold this mem'ry bittersweet Until we meet
Maria didn't say anything for a moment, but then pressed a kiss to his cheek and asked, "Promise me something Michael?"
"Anything," he said truthfully, knowing he would promise her the moon and the stars if it was in his reach.
"Promise you'll never forget me?" she choked out.
He took her face i his hands, "Never Maria, never. I couldn't. How can one forget the only woman they'll ever love? I will never forget you."
Maria shook her head, "That's all I ask. But Michael, don't think of me as the only woman you'll ever love. You'll find someone else, believe that. And when you do, know I'll be looking down and smiling. I just want you to be happy."
"I can't be happy without you," Michael said brokenly.
She nodded, "You can Michael. You were fine before me, and you'll be fine after me. Whether your life is spent as a bachelor, with another woman, or with Isabel, only know that I'll be happy for you, no matter what you choose."
Michael accepted her words, knowing they were important to her, but not believing them. After her, there could be nobody else. Ever.
"No more depressing talk," Maria said suddenly, wiping away the tears that had formed in her eyes. "We're going to spend our time together normally from now on. As of now, we will forget that I am dying, or in anyway unhealthy."
Michael didn't know how he could do that, but he smiled in spite of everything and sat down on the bed, pulling her to sit on his lap. He asked, "What do you want to do?"
"Just be with you," she answered plainly, kissing him gently on the mouth. "It's all I've ever wanted."
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
When Amy DeLuca opened the door to her daughter's bedroom hours later, she found them fast asleep, in each other's arms, laying above the covers.
She smiled, a bittersweet smile, as she fought the urge to clobber him with a newspaper. Silently, she closed the door.
*********************
The morning came quickly, and as Michael awoke, the sun was just breaking through the sheer curtains on Maria's window. He opened his eyes slowly, not wanting to awake from dreamland, where everything was happy, and Maria was healthy. But, reality fought in.
Maria's blonde head rested on his chest, she hadn't awakened. They had spent the night talking, sharing, until they fell asleep together. Michael shared everything he was with her, for once holding nothing back. She was now the one person in the world who truly understood him. And he had learned more about her than he had never known about anyone. They were as close as they could be.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, Michael sighed. He didn't want to move, and disturb the paradise he was in, feeling her on him, and knowing that she loved him despite all he was. But, there was a brand new day, and who knew how many more of those there would be with Maria?
He shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up. When she didn't awaken, he reached down to run his fingers under her armpits where she was most ticklish.
She still didn't move.
He couldn't feel her breath on him, and as he gently rolled her off him, he knew why. She was dead.
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
Michael Guerin did what he almost never did. In fact, he could only remember it happening once, when he had come to her for comfort in the night.
He cried.
The song used was 'Fly' by Celine Dion. So, what do you all think?
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