Alone. That's what Michael Guerin was. That's why he was all by himself, staring out the window on a Friday night, the rain beating down on his windows, leaking through the window panes. That's why he questioned why he was even here.
Of course he knew why he was here. To save his alien race, as well as human kind. It was his destiny, his mission in life. He had been created for this purpose, and this purpose only. Not to love, not to be happy, just to protect two races and mate with a woman who was like a sister to him.
His purpose excluded closeness. Michael refused to admit that the reason he had been irritable and miserable for weeks was the fact that he had been emotionally alone. That is, without her. It was, after all, his choice. She would have stayed with him until the end, whether he got killed, or got her killed or not. He chose the road that led apart from her.
If he admitted to himself how much that cost him, he didn't know how he could stay away, and do the job he was meant to do at all costs.
*************
Michael lay on the couch, sleeping where he had dozed off the previous evening. He wore the same rumpled clothes, highlighted by the light that streamed in through the window. Back in his bedroom, the alarm-clock started loudly. Slowly, he stretched out on the couch.
Another day to survive through, what he was doing couldn't be called living. But, he had made the right decision. For everyone. Except him, a little voice whispered in his ear.
When a knock sounded on his door, he knew he didn't want to open it, just as much as he knew he had to. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his unruly hair, and walked slowly to the door.
Tess stood on the other side. He resisted the urge to slam the door in her face, and asked her in. "You look like shit Michael," she observed bluntly as she walked in, her hands shoved in the pockets of her jeans.
"Thanks Tess," he said through gritted teeth, wondering why the hell she was here. "What can I do for you?"
"Accompany me on my errands," she said in an annoyingly chipper voice. "Come on, you live alone too. You must have some groceries and stuff that you need."
Yeah, Michael wanted to say, But I don't want to go with you. Out loud, he responded, "Yeah, I could use a few things."
As he stumbled over to the bedroom to get dressed, he quickly kicked the picture of Maria he had taken out last night under the couch. Tess didn't need to see that. It was none of her business that he was falling apart emotionally.
***********************
They walked out of the grocery store. The amount Tess bought there would have been enough to last Michael for weeks. He only carried one bag. Across the street, down a little ways, was the Crashdown cafe.
Maria's red car was parked in front, indicating she was there.
His heart dropped as Tess's face lit up, "Let's go to the Crashdown. I want to buy a pie. I'm going over to the Evans' for supper tonight, and I should bring dessert."
"Can't you just buy one at the store?" he asked weakly, as she began to drag him over.
The door jingled as they opened it, alerting everyone inside they had customers. The blonde waitress carrying a platter of food gave a sharp gasp of surprise, and let a glass of cherry coke slide off the tray.
Michael didn't even hear the sound of breaking glass as he stared, drinking in the sight of her. She quickly averted her eyes from him and set down the rest of the food at a table and began to clean up.
"I'll wait here," he said to Tess softly. She just shrugged and walked up to the counter where Liz stood, cleaning.
Michael wasn't blind. Even he could see the tension in Liz's face in body as she struggled to be civil to Tess, her ex-boyfriends betrothed. He gaze strayed back to the spot where Maria had dropped the glass, but she was gone. Scurrying to get away from him.
As Tess waited for the cook to prepare a whole pie, Michael kept staring at Maria. She had gone over to the back, where she stood with Liz. She pointed to her head, and Liz nodded, handing her a bottle of aspirin. He watched as she went into the backroom, looking in unbearable pain.
Eventually, Tess threaded her way through the tables back to him. He heard a crashing sound from the backroom where Maria had gone, but even as Liz ran to check it out, Tess was tugging on his arm, wanting to go.
He left.
It wasn't his business anymore.
******************
The phone rang as Michael re-entered his apartment. Dumping his few provisions on the counter, he picked it up. He was disappointed when he heard Max's voice on the other end.
"You up for breakfast with Isabel, Tess and I tomorrow morning?" Max asked in the fake cheerful voice he had adopted in the past few weeks.
"Why not?" Michael said, almost sarcastically, wishing he could say no. Wishing that his destiny wasn't entwined with these people.
"Good," Max said, in that same voice. "I'll stop by for you at 9:30, okay?"
"Fine," Michael agreed wearily, and hung up.
He tossed his milk in the fridge, and went over and collapsed on the couch. It was where he spent most of his time these days. He flipped on the TV, trying to find something to distract him. Nothing, nothing, nothing. He never realized exactly how many blondes with short hair there were on television.
He had settled on one movie until one of the characters uttered the word 'destiny'. He flipped away immediately. Sighing, he settled on a baseball game.
As one of the players on the television crushed a home run, Michael got down on his knees, searching under the couch for the picture he had kicked there earlier to hide from Tess. He dragged it out with his fingertips.
As he held it over the trash can, preparing to throw it away, he hesitated. This was all he had left of them, a measly photo. He could throw away everything else, but he couldn't throw away his last and only reminder of her.
It ended up on the dresser by his bedside.
He flopped back on the couch, praying to whatever Gods ruled the universe that he wouldn't have to deal with Tess or anyone else for the rest of the day. Well, maybe Max. He was nearly as miserable inside as Michael was.
*****************
The next morning, there was a knock on Michael's door as he stood in the cramped bathroom of the apartment, brushing his teeth. He swore as he remember he had agreed to go out for breakfast with the other aliens. Another one of their pointless meetings, supposedly to make plans. How were they supposed to make plans when they didn't even know exactly what they were fighting?
He spit out the toothpaste in the sink and walked over to the door, and opened it. Max was on the other side, hands shoved deep in his pockets, staring at the ground.
"Come on in," Michael invited, turning to go finish his morning ritual. He was halfway back to the bathroom before he heard the quiet insistence in Max's voice as he said, "Michael, wait a minute."
Michael turned back, expectantly. He noticed the expression on Max's face which had gone unnoticed when he opened the door. He was very pale, and wasn't smiling. His eyes seemed to hold a haunted expression. "What is it Max?" Michael demanded impatiently when Max didn't say a word.
"It's...it's Maria," Max managed to choke out.
Michael felt his heartbeat rise, but he forced himself to keep his voice calm and controlled as he asked, "What about Maria?"
"She's sick Michael," Max said, shaking his head. "In fact she's more than sick. She's dying."
Michael felt a sinking in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to fall to the floor. His vision blurred at Max's simple words, and he wanted to throw up. The only words he could manage to force out through the haze were, "Oh."
TBC.........
back to homepage
back to fanfiction
To part 2
Send feedback, reports of broken links etc. to [email protected]