Standard:
Title:Don't Turn Around
Author:Kathryn C
Rating: PG-14 tops. Maybe PG. I think I'm going to
write something a 'little' more adult soon though.
Disclaimer:I own nothing, even if I want to.
Distribution:You want it {Although I don't know why},
take it and send me the URL so I know.
Feedback:Send in, please.
Note:Not unhappy ending like last time in my one
parters.
Spoilers: Oh yeah, nearly forgot about these. Well,
simply, if you're spoiler free(ones posted after sexual healing) I guess you don't want
to read.
*******************
Maria sat on her bed, her history textbook open in front of her. Open, but unseen. Her eyes were instead focused on the window. He had called, said he was coming over.
He had said they needed to talk. This must be big. Michael wasn't exactly known for talking. She was expecting him soon. Of course he wouldn't come through the front door though, that would be too easy. Even though Maria's mom was gone for the weekend, Michael would still refuse to do it the unconventional way.
Therefore, she was surprised when she heard a knock at the front door. She leapt to her feet, and fought the urge to run to the door, not wanting to appear to be too anxious.
She opened it to find Michael there, soaking wet. It had been raining for hours. Maria flashed back to the night when he had come to her like this before. Wet and soaking, needing her.
"Hey," she said simply, moving aside to let him come in.
"Hey," he said gruffly, never one for many words.
"You sounded so cryptic on the phone," she said lightly as he removed his jacket and hung in by the door. "Is anything wrong?"
"We need to talk Maria," Michael said gruffly. She was quick to notice that he hadn't denied anything being wrong.
"Okay," she agreed, "We can talk. We could go to my room. Mom's not home."
Michael looked up the hallway to her bedroom. A place that was entirely her. A place that was the essence of Maria. He shook his head, "No, let's just go into the living toom."
She followed him into their tiny living room. He picked a straight backed chair. Maria flopped down on the comfy couch.
"So," she said when he didn't say anything, "What's up?"
Michael leaned forward on his elbows, "We can't be together anymore."
Maria was speechless for a moment, her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. "Why?" she finally managed to choke out.
Michael was hesitant. He didn't say anything, just avoided looking in her eyes. Maria sighed. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch. "It's those goddamn dreams again, isn't it? You dreamed of each other again didn't you?"
Michael nodded, "Yeah." he replied simply.
"Shit," Maria swore under her breath. "Listen Michael, I know there's a lot we need to work out I know, but we can. I'm not angry that you're dreaming of each other, I know you can't control it. But, the dreams don't mean anything...."
Michael shook his head, "They mean more than you think Maria." he said bluntly in a hard voice.
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Maria said.
Michael sighed. "Listen Maria, this isn't easy for me to say..."
"Hard for you!" Maria exclaimed, "You're the one that came in here to tell me that we can't be together."
"Let me finish," Michael pleaded, "You need to know this. I'm just going to say it, you need to know this. Isabel, she's......she's pregnant."
"What!?" Maria exclaimed, "I mean, how....what? For God's sake, who's the father."
"Me." Michael said quietly. That one word was enough to shock Maria and send her back to leaning against the couch.
"You bastard," was all she said and she rubbed her forehead with her hands, "You bastard."
"Maria....." Michael began in a pleading voice.
"You lied to me," she said, "You said that you felt nothing for her. You said that I was the one for you. You told me the dreams meant nothing. Well Michael, if that was all true why the hell did you sleep with her?"
"I didn't....."Michael began.
Maria snorted, "You're trying to tell me that she became pregnant with your child, but never slept with you. Oh, that's rich Michael."
He shook his head, "We didn't, not in real life. It was those goddamn dreams. We slept together in them, and she woke up pregnant."
"What a load of shit," Maria said bluntly, masking the pain she felt. "Sorry Michael, but sperm doesn't work that way. It doesn't exactly travel through the dream world."
"That's what happened Maria," Michael said stiffly. "Hell, we're aliens remember? Who know what we're capable of?"
She shook her head, "I don't believe it Michael. I believe this is some sort of cover-up for what really happened." Her words were brave, but she felt a crumbling inside.
"Believe what you want Maria," Michael said gruffly, "It happened that way. I can't go back and change it. I'm just telling you why I can't be with you anymore."
Maria's heart lay in a millions pieces around her, but she managed to say in a quivering voice, "Well, at least it happened now, right? I mean, before we got too attached or anything."
"Maria......" Michael said in a pleading voice. "Don't do this."
"Do what?" Maria said in a despondent voice. "I'm telling you to go, go to her. I mean, she's the mother of your child right? And me, I'm nothing to you. You don't owe me any explanations."
I will survive...without you
Don't tell me that you want to leave
If you want to leave, I won't beg you to stay
And if you gotta go, darling, maybe its better that
way
I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna do fine, don't worry
about this heart of mine
Walk out that door, see if I care, go on and go,
but....
"Maria......"it seemed that all Michael could say at this point was her name.
"Please go Michael," she managed to choke out. She had to get him out of here, had too get him to leave before she broke down and he found out how torn up she was inside.
"Allright," was all he said, standing up from the chair. He paused briefly to look at Maria, then she watched as he walked towards the kitchen.
Don't Turn Around, cuz you're gonna see my heart
breaking
Don' t turn around, I don't want you seeing me cry -
just walk away,
its tearing me apart that you're leaving,
I'm letting you go, but I won't let you know.
I won't let you know.
I won't miss your arms around me,
holding me tight... holding me tight.
And if you ever think about me,
just know that I'll be alright...I'll be all right.
I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna do fine,
don't worry about this heart of mine,
I will survive I'll make it through,
I'll even learn to live without you.
Maria watched him as he pushed his arms into the
sleeves of his coat with a lump in her throat. She
loved the bastard so much it hurt. He wasn't even
looking at her, she doubted that he ever would.
If he did, she wouldn't be able to stand it. One look from his soulful eyes, and she would break down into sobs. He couldn't see that she was dying inside. He couldn't know how attached she had actually become.
Don't go!, she wanted to scream. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. She wanted him to come back to her. She wanted her words to make a difference to him. But, they wouldn't. He was Isabel's now. They had a bond that he and Maria obviously did not, an unborn child.
Now, all she could hope for was that he would leave, taking her heart with him before she would break down.
I wish I could scream out loud that I love
you,
I wish I could say to you don't go --
As he walks away he feels the pain getting strong,
people in your life, they don't know what's going on
Too proud to turn around, he's gone...
Maria tried to soak back a sob as his hand rested on
the door knob. As he reached the threshold that
crossing it would take him from her forever. But, her
efforts were futile. The tears escaped from her
clenched eyes and ran down her cheeks.
His hand rested on the doorknob, ready to open the door. He paused, squeezed his eyes shut. Then, he did something he prayed he wouldn't regret.
He lifted his hand and turned around.
She was curled up in a little ball on the sofa, crying her heart out, waiting to her the click as the door shut, but it never came. As the sobs racked her body, she felt a pair of arms encircle her. Her watery eyes flew open to see Michael sitting beside her.
"I'm so sorry," he nearly gasped, "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never even meant for something to happen. I thought I could just walk away from you, from us, but I can't. You've wormed your way inside me, and I can't leave you. No matter what."
"What about Isabel," Maria hiccuped as he brushed his hand over her cheek, wiping away the tears.
"She's pregnant, and I do have a responsibility to her," Michael admitted, "But, I have one to you too. Besides, there is a reason things wouldn't work like that with Is."
"What is it?" Maria asked softly.
"I don't love her," Michael said simply. "Not like I do you."
Maria began crying again. Michael looked concerned. "Was I wrong to tell you?" he asked, worriedly.
"I love you too you bastard," she said, affectionately through her tears.
"Then believe I would never hurt you like that on purpose," Michael said forcefully, "Don't think that of me. I couldn't control it Maria. If I had known this was going to happen, I would never go to sleep."
Maria shook her head, "I guess I do believe you, but that doesn't change the fact that Isabel is pregnant, and that I'm the odd one out."
"She'll have to deal with you," Michael said gruffly, taking her hand. "Because, unfortunately, I've discovered I can't live without you."
"God Michael," Maria groaned wiping the wetness from her cheeks. "Out of all the men on this earth, why did I have to fall for you?"
"Are you sorry you did?" Michael asked quietly.
She shook her head, "No, I'll admit that this pain is better than a life of not knowing you at all."
"Then you'll stay with me, even after all this?" he asked, with the underlying nervousness in his voice.
She nodded, "Didn't you hear me the first time? I love you. That would sort of ruin it for me with someone else. We're in this all together Michael, through thick and thin."
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