BEDTIME STORY (cont)
Max strode over to Kyle and whispered in his ear the horrifying truth. He then told Kyle to get Tess out of The Crashdown and to take her home. Kyle did his best to cover up his boiling anger and escorted Tess out of the Crashdown, dragging her by the arm, while she simpered “But what about Al?”
Max called a meeting of the aliens and humans in the Crashdown. He and Liz explained that Tess murdered Alex. At first, Isabel defended Tess, but then she remembered the smirk she saw beginning on Tess’s face just five minutes before and quickly renounced any feelings of kindness she had ever had towards Tess. They decided that Max would go to Tess tonight and find out what she did with Alex, and then he would drag her out to the quarry so that they could all exact punishment on her.
That night, Max put on his best cologne and his sexiest outfit. He paid Tess a little visit at the Valenti’s house. As he stepped through the window to Kyle’s room (which Tess had stolen from him), Max saw Tess lounging around on Kyle’s bed, with a giant smile on her face. She had been plotting Isabel’s murder. “Max, what are you doing here? It’s so late!” Tess purred. “Tess, now that Alex is dead, it has made me realize what is really important in life!” Max said convincingly, in his throaty urgent voice. “Really?” Tess squeaked in excitement. “What’s that?” Max swept her up into his arms (and had to keep himself from puking) <the children giggled> and Tess thought to herself that all her mind-warping was really paying off. Max caressed Tess’s hair and then wrapped his entire hand around her skinny neck. He squeezed as hard as he could and heard Tess’s windpipe closing. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I realized that I only love Liz and that you are evil incarnate. You killed Alex and if you don’t tell me where you put his body I will kill you right now!”
Tess’s eyes bugged out of her head and she sputtered in panic. “Wait, he’s not dead! He’s alive! I didn’t kill him!” Max loosened his grip on her neck just slightly. “What did you do to him?” Max growled. Tess laughed nervously. “Nothing! It’s all a joke! Really!” Max tightened his grip. Tess coughed and shrieked (as best as she could considering she had no air left to talk) “We were playing hide and seek! I told him to hide in a cave and that Isabel would come find him!” Max almost vomited on her. “That is not funny at all!” he shouted. In one movement, he let go of Tess’s neck and grabbed her by the hair. He dragged her out the window.
Less than a half hour later, the entire group was gathered at the quarry. Max was still gripping Tess’s hair, pulling her head back at what must have been a very uncomfortable angle. Liz smiled at the site of it. Max told the group about Tess’s “practical joke.” Of course, they were all horrified. Especially Isabel. She marched up to Tess’s panicked face and screamed “You bitch! I thought you were my friend! You are evil! How could you do that to Alex?!?!” Tess tried frantically to make another mind-warp, but she just couldn’t do it with her head bent so far back.
“Where is he?” Isabel demanded ferociously. Tess refused to talk. Isabel grabbed Tess’s ear and tried to dreamwalk her while she was still awake. At the same time, Tess tried to make one last mind-warp. The two powers collided and provided Isabel instant access into Tess’s sick and twisted mind. Isabel saw the cave and saw Alex gasping for air. She let go of Tess’s ear and smacked her across the face. Then she turned to the group and told them urgently that they had to rescue Alex. They all jumped into Max’s Jeep and Maria’s Jetta and sped off towards the cave, with Tess tied to the bumper of the jeep. She screamed the whole way because her feet were being scraped over the bumpy ground at a very high speed.
They reached the cave and Michael used his powers to blast open the boulder Tess had used to seal the entrance. Isabel climbed down into the cave and rushed over to where Alex was apparently asleep. She kissed him and felt how cold his skin was. He was dying from lack of oxygen! She screamed and called for Kyle to help her get Alex out of the cave. When Alex was out of the cave and stretched out on the dirt ground, Max knelt over him and placed his hand on his chest. His hand glowed, and Alex opened his eyes. His grayish pallor lifted and his skin became rosy again. He looked up, bewildered, as Isabel pounced on him and cried into his shoulder that she thought he was dead. “What the hell?” Alex croaked.
Isabel stood up and strode over to the bumper where Tess was still chained. Isabel grabbed Tess by the skimpy polyester halter top she was wearing. Isabel called upon her powers to burn up Tess’s internal organs and turn them to ash. Everyone cheered and they jumped back into their respective vehicles. Tess’s lifeless body was still strapped to the back of the Jeep.
Alex and Isabel sat in the back of the Jetta. Michael was at the wheel so that Maria could help Isabel tend to Alex. Michael drove up to meet Max. They looked at each other and winked. Then Max started the Jeep, and Michael followed in the Jetta.
They made it to Las Vegas by two in the morning. The Elvis Wedding Chapel was open until 4am, so they still had plenty of time. Max and Liz, Michael and Maria, and Alex and Isabel all stood before the Elvis impersonator, as he officiated their group wedding, with Kyle as a witness. The lady dressed as Priscilla Presley cried joyfully as she played wedding music for them at the organ keyboard. After the ceremony, they went to find the greasiest fast food they could eat. Then they drove out into the desert.
Max and Michael set up a fire pit, with a spit on top, and strapped Tess’s body to it. Her insides may have already been dust from Isabel’s punishment, but her polyester clad body would certainly provide enough heat as it rotated on the spit. Alex watched happily as Max and Michael stoked the fire. Maria produced a bag of marshmallows. Everyone took a marshmallow, mounted it on a stick, and held it out to the flames emanating from Tess’s body as it was grilled on the rotisserie.
They went through the entire bag of marshmallows and by that time Tess was nothing but alien pulp. Isabel quickly showed Kyle how to manipulate the atomic structure of CDs so he could DJ for them. She then promised to help him get Vicky Delany for himself for good when they got back to Roswell. Kyle started to spin the music and the married couples danced away the rest of the night in the desert. It was the best night of their lives. They lived happily ever after. The End.”
Max leaned back. The children cheered and said “Again! Tell it again, Grampa Max!” At this he laughed, because the children never tired of hearing the story of how the Evil Tess was killed and how Max and Liz, Michael and Maria, and Alex and Isabel got married in Vegas. Liz sighed dreamily and then ushered the children off to bed. Then she sat in front of the fire with Max and they reminisced about their high school days in Roswell, when they first fell in love.
The end