THREE LITTLE LETTERS "Oh my god," Tess squawked as she, Maria and Kyle walked down the busy
street, "this is just the best time EVER!! It's like I've died,"
"From your lips, to god's ear," Maria muttered.
"and gone to heaven," Tess finished.
As Tess walked down the street, jiggling from window to window, Maria again
asked herself how she had ever gotten conned into this. Yes, it was a free
trip to New York City, paid for by Jim and Amy as a get to know each other
trip for the new "family", but Tess sucked the joy and fun out of
everything. She could actually feel her IQ dropping. 'Well, at least I'm
not Kyle, the poor, poor bastard' she thought, while looking over at him.
Kyle was saddled with what looked like twelve bags. Tess, while having no
job and no income, would just take dollar bills and change them into
whatever she needed, for herself, that is. When either of the humans asked
for a little help in that department (sure, they both hated her but they may
as well take advantage of her "powers" and get some free stuff) she told
them that it took "a super duper amount of power that makes Tessy wessy feel
sicky weeky" (and yes, friends and neighbors, that was a direct quote) so
she couldn't do it for all of them.
As Kyle stumbled under the weight, Maria took four of the bags out of his
hands.
"Thanks," he said gratefully. "Now if we could only get rid of another oh,
hundred and ten pounds, the day would be perfect."
"Well," Maria said, looking ahead at where Tess was talking to an older man,
" I think that what's going on now ought to cheer you up." She motioned her
head in Tess's direction. As Kyle and Maria caught up with her, they could
hear the older gentleman say, "Ok, twenty, but that's my last offer. And,"
he said, peering at her face," I get to put a bag over your head. Not into
bestiality."
Tess was smiling broadly. "Guys," she gushed, "this is super cool. This
guy wants to pay me for going on a date with him. Isn't this city great.
He said that he really liked my outfit." Tess was wearing a lycra, hot pink
mini-skirt, go-go boots with six inch heels and a bikini style top.
"Ok Tess," Maria said, "well meet you back at the hotel." She started to
walk away but Kyle grabbed her by the arm then yanked Tess away from her new
friend. He dragged both girl down the street. The whining from Tess began.
"Why wouldn't you let me date him. Sure, he was ugly, but so was Nasedo and
I hate fun with him. What," Tess asked, noticing the looks of disgust and
horror on their faces. "Oh, like you two didn't figure that out. I know
that Max and Liz did and they MUST have told you. They talk about it all
the time. I heard them through the door. Liz, I hate her. I bet that guy
wouldn't want to date her. He obviously has taste, unlike you," she said,
looking at Kyle, then pointedly at Maria.
Kyle's eye had begun to twitch, Maria noticed.
"Where are we going," Tess asked as they stopped at a crosswalk. "My feet
hurt. And I wore these shoes special cause I knew people would think that I
looked pretty. Don't I look pretty," she yammered on and on.
Maria noticed that Kyle was bunching his hands into fists.
"Oh course I do, how could I ever doubt that. I don't have low self-esteem.
No matter what that therapist guy said when I told him I was put on this
Earth to marry Max. I bet that Max could carry all of the bags," she said
to Kyle when she noticed that Maria was helping him. Tess seemed to notice
that the mention of Max got to him. He looked away from Tess, trying to get
a grip and saw a bus go by.
"DOT", he muttered to himself. "DOT, that's the answer."
Tess started in on him again. "See, my Maxie's a real man. I mean, you
just warm the chicks up for him. First Liz, now me. That seems to be your
one job in life. So," she said, turning to a dumbfounded Maria, "that means
that you'll be dating Max in a few months. Though, obviously, you're
beneath him...."
It happened so quickly that Maria didn't really have a chance to enjoy it.
One moment Tess was standing next to her, and the next, she was roadkill.
Kyle had given her a little nudge, which had sent her right in front of a
bus. She looked over at him, shocked, but delighted.
"DOT," he said. She looked at him and he pointed to the bus, where she saw
DOT stamped on it.
"Death of Tess," she whispered.
"Exactly," he said, coming up behind her. She could feel his breath on the
nape of her neck.
"So, it was a sign," she said.
"Uh, huh," he agreed as he dropped her bags and bent over what was left of
the body and grabbed the cash out of her purse.
"Well, you may be "beneath" Max, but at least you're not beneath a bus," she
said.
"So," he said, taking her hand and leading her away from the commotion near
the body. "What would you like to be beneath?"
The End