(This Poem "The Pimp" was written in response to "The Infamous Bitch Poem.)
Ahh Men...
Everyday I give thanks to my God,
that I've got a dick and a tight ass bod.
I like to play sports and I love to get naked,
is it our faults that you girls just can't take it?
I own lots of tools and don't mind putting on weight,
and when I get ready for a party, my ass is never late.
I can actually drive a car and even change a tire,
my ability to produce children will never expire.
When a male is born, it's clearly heaven-sent,
that's probably why a woman has never been president.
I can pee without squatting and I've slept in a tent,
womens fatal flaw is that they are subservient.
First and foremost, my looks don't govern my life,
and when I gain a few pounds I don't go under the knife.
I don't read nutrition labels, I like to eat meat,
if any woman objects, she can just take a seat.
I don't own a hairdryer, I brush my hair with my hands,
I am considered the better gender in the majority of lands.
I masterbate openly, I secretly desire a mirror on my ceiling,
and I don't cry when someone hurts my feelings.
Listen to me girls, I need to tell you something right quick,
it pertains to lovemaking and my almighty dick.
That thing in your pants that you guard like treasure,
men don't respect you for it, we just see it as pleasure.
I like it squeezed, jacked, licked, and sucked,
I am capable of having sex then saying "We Fucked."
I like to have sex and finish with a roar,
I hope to remain a premiscuous bachelor.
Bitches think that they are "All That",
but we don't care about every pound of fat.
Just cuz your thighs cause mass amounts of friction,
still doesn't mean you belong outside the kitchen!!!
Any girls that object, just respond please,
but on one condition, first get off your knees...
I have a little advice for my fellow men, and I'm afraid I can't lie,
NEVER trust anything that can bleed for four dayz and then not DIE!
Right at home is where a woman should stay,
cuz men are the ones that make the pay.
At least our dick doesn't sag when we get older,
I've seen better looking bitches by the name of Rover.
At least my bod doesn't bleed that certain week,
bitch you're just jelous, don't sweat the technique.
You constantly get played like childrens games,
guys just fuck you and forget your names!!!
Bitches all hanging from my large nutsack,
now what the fuck are you gonna say after this counter attack...