Ahh Women...
Everyday I give thinks to the goddess,
I have two mounds upon my bodice.
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee,
I can justify any shopping spree.
Not to a barber, but a beauty salon,
Can get a massage without a hard on.
Can ballance the checkbook, pump my own gas,
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
I always save money by using coupons,
Can admit to others when I am wrong.
Don't drive in circles at any cost,
So I don't have to admit when I am lost.
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon,
Everytime I go to the john.
Let me tell you men, listen up boys.
Those things in your pants, that you treat as toys.
You love them more than we ever will,
We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill.
I spend two hours preparing for a date,
Only to find that you're two hours late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore,
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.
I don't wear the same underwear everyday.
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay.
I don't go to sears to look at tools,
I don't cheat at poker, I follow the rules.
I don't smoke cigars,
Don't pay for drinks at bars.
I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi."
And it's okay for me to cry.
I know all you men think that you're "IT",
But compared to a woman you just ain't SHIT!!!