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Do you go to the dungeon to find out how to make peace with your days
in the dungeon writing a letter to you didn't make me feel any more peaceful
then how I felt when we weren't speaking because I didn't cop to what
I did. I can't love you because we're supposed to have professional boundaries.
i'd like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by god
full on the lips . i'm in the front row the front row with popcorn I get
to see you see you close up i'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries
one by one one minute I want to banish you the next I want to be on a
deserted island with you along with my three favorite cd's ambivalent
yet in your bed we've yet to acknowledge what really happened slid into
the ditch I have this overwhelming loss of ambition we said let's name
thirty good reasons why
we shouldn't be together I started by saying things like "you smoke"
"you live in new jersey (too far)" you started saying things
like "you belong to the world" all of which could have been
easily refuted but the conversation was hypothetical I am totally short
of breath for you why can't you shut
your stuff off..... i'm in the front row the front row with popcorn I
get to see you see you close up and I laughed until my lungs hurt I love
how you bust my chops you don't always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable
unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my current state I think we should
be careful of how much time we spend together ...for a while i'm speaking
you know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time alone
to fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about
you i've been wanting
your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing like me are
you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your charmed
life (seemingly)? i'm in the front row the front row with popcorn I get
to see you see you close up you never meant to be ungrateful nor held
up to
be whipped or wept for certainly not analysed prodded at more ways than
one
apparently you've been misrepresented dealing with the concept of arrows
being slung towards your outrageous fortune hey i'm not mad at you guardian
i'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl and
hydeness i'm glad i figuratively slapped you on the wrist you laughed
a wicked laugh and said "come here let me clip your wings!"(i
know he's blood but you can still turn him away you don't owe him anything)
"raise the roof" he yelled "yeah raise the roof!"
I yelled back. (unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
no thanks to the soap box. having me rile against them
won't make an ounce of difference...... i'm in the front row the front
row with popcorn. I get to see you see you close up oh the things i've
done for you many a sitch a friend a man's been left for you oh the books
i've read for you the tongues i've bitten for you many a new city for
you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret)
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