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MY GUESTBOOK
It was so weird, doing nothing. No calls to make, no polls to interpret, no one screaming for updates or watching TVs with unblinking eyes. After so many months of non-stop panic doing nothing felt completely wrong. I was so tired that I was sure that once I sat down I would be down for the count�despite what I had said to Josh I was really exhausted and my hotel room was rumoured to have a bed in it�I wouldn�t know, I had only seen the room briefly when I changed my clothes after Josh and I made love. I knew that Josh would be a while, the protocol behind private dinners like this being extensive and mind numbing, so I decided to head downstairs and do some work that was definitely not in my job description but was something that needed to be done and, since everyone was pretty much drunk off their asses, I figured that I was the only person who would remember to do the things with a few glasses of Champaign in my system that most people wouldn�t even think to do while stone cold sober.

Helen was understandably overwhelmed, and had slipped out of the suite and had begun wandering around the hotel in somewhat of a daze. �Mrs. Santos? How are you doing, ma�am?� I asked when she came into the banquet room where I had been making sure the cleanup crew knew to save packages of the confetti for souvenirs for the staff.

�I�m going to be the First Lady. I�ve been invited to the White House for dinner where there will only be six people�President Bartlet, Dr. Bartlet, CJ Cregg, Josh, and you. It probably seems like a normal day for you and Josh, but to me, this is insane.�

�I was an assistant, Mrs. Santos. After President Bartlet was elected I had one non-party meal with him and it wasn�t exactly a highlight for me,� I said. Helen shot me a confused look, much like I had gotten when I told my mother about it while I was recovering after Gaza. No one understood how dining with the President was not a highlight of my life. �When Josh was shot, after the Town Hall thing in Roslyn, I took care of him. Some people, the Senior Staff, mostly, felt I wasn�t taking care of myself while I was taking care of Josh, so I was summoned and the President and Abbey refused to let me leave until I had eaten a literal four course meal. I was too worried about Josh to even realize I was eating off of bone china with the leader of the free world and the First Lady.�

Smiling at my candour, Helen sat down across the table from me.  �I guess it�s just overwhelming.  I mean, I married a Marine pilot, and suddenly I�m three months from being the First Lady of the United States.  I signed on to be a good military wife.  I was just starting to get used to being a Congressman�s wife��

�Men have a tendency to throw a wrench into the works,� I agreed, thinking about Josh and all the times he had turned my life inside out and upside down in the nine years that I�d known him.

�Why do we let them?� Helen pouted.

I was silent for a moment, considering her question, before I answered with the only answer there was to give.
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