�Watching someone you work with commit suicide is, I assume, fairly traumatic, John.�
John nodded. �I know. Actually, I�m kinda proud of him.�
�Gaul?� Elizabeth asked, shocked.
�No. Rodney. He sought out help independently. I honestly can�t say that I�d do the same thing in his position. I doubt most people would, especially not people like Rodney,� John said. He didn�t mention that he had been in Rodney�s position before and he had certainly not sought help of his own accord. �It really surprised me when Heightmeyer sent me an evaluation report for him. I mean, I knew I would be getting one for Teyla, but I sent Teyla to Heightmeyer when she started having those nightmares.�
Elizabeth frowned. �Doesn�t that break doctor-patient confidentiality? Kate sending you reports on Teyla and Rodney?� she asked.
�There wasn�t anything privileged in the reports,� John said. �Basically it confirmed that they had been to see her, that they had participated in a therapy session of an unspecified nature X many times in the past week, and that they are both still cleared to be in the field.� He shrugged. �Honestly, that�s all I need to know; that, while they�ve got issues, they�re working on them and they�re fit for duty. I don�t need details, and unless they come to me, either as their commanding officer, or as their friend, I�m not going to push it.�
�You�re not worried about them, though?� Elizabeth asked.
�I�m always worried about them; I worry about everyone. But, relating to their mental health? No. No worries. I mean, Teyla was reluctant�to say the least�at first, but Heightmeyer helps her deal with the nightmares and helped her figure out why she could sense the Wraith, and they have a standing appointment when we�re not offworld for what Teyla says Heightmeyer has termed �maintenance�. And Rodney� he recognized that he might have a problem before it got to actually be a problem, which is the first step to fixing things, at least if the first step of any 12 step program actually does any good.�
Frowning, Elizabeth looked down at her hands. �I feel like I should know this stuff, too,� she said. �Not just Rodney and Teyla, but everyone. I know the medical details and the specialties and bankable skills but� I�ve never put much stock in psychology. I don�t really understand it. And I really don�t like people trying to get into my head�I�ve spent years making sure that no one can read me on any level beyond what I want them to see, which is problematic for friendships and anything deeper, but for my job it�s a necessity. But� all this� the Wraith and the death and the isolation and the culture shock that is Atlantis�� she sighed heavily and tucked a loose curl of hair behind her ear. �There�s a psychological price to being here, and I�ve been hoping that if I ignore that fact it�ll go away; like if no one else is having problems with being here, living this life, then there�s no reason for me to have problems with it, either.� She shook her head. �Maybe when we get back here I should make an appointment with Kate myself.�
�Or, if you don�t feel comfortable with her trying to get inside your head, you could just talk to your friends more,� John suggested gently. �You�d be amazed how much just telling your friends about whatever has your stomach tied up in knots helps.�
Elizabeth nodded, though she knew that she wouldn�t, couldn�t, share the problem that was tying her stomach up in knots with her friends. Not when she had barely just admitted it to herself.
After sending the crates with the files and artefacts through the wormhole, Elizabeth smiled at Teyla. �You�re sure you don�t want to come along?� she asked the Athosian woman.
�There will be other opportunities for me to visit Earth, Doctor Weir. You will all be busy. I shall remain on Atlantis to assist Doctor Zelenka in the day-to-day affairs of the city until you return,� Teyla said with a gentle smile.
They had all been through the same conversation at least half a dozen times in the past few days, and Sheppard knew that Teyla was not going to change her mind. Teyla knew that someone needed to stay and lead those remaining on Atlantis, and, though technically the chain of command didn�t include Teyla, those who would have been put in charge had made it clear that they were more than willing to let Teyla run the show in Elizabeth�s place for however long the Senior Staff was on Earth. She was, after all, an experienced leader.