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MY GUESTBOOK
Andi offers up a small smile and shakes her head. �You had other things on your mind. I understand. But� can you not scare me like that again, please?�
You smile at that, your first real smile in what feels like weeks. �I�ll do my best,� you promise, though you know that, just like this wasn�t something you controlled, any further �times of crisis� will probably not be under your control, either.
�Good. Panic is not a good look on me,� Andi joked with a lopsided smile, trying to inject some levity into the situation to keep you from going completely insane.
The two of you stood outside the waiting room for a few minutes before you regretfully told her that she should probably go. �I�ll call with news when� when we have news.�
She asks if you promise and for a moment you�re thrown back to the first time you told her that you loved her. She had looked at you with wide, guileless eyes, and asked if you promised. You had laughed and said that, yes, you promised, and tears had filled her eyes that, to this day you still can�t determine the source of. You managed to convince yourself they were happy tears, but some days the niggling fear in the pit of your stomach is worse than others and you�re not so sure anymore.
You tell her that you promise and Andi smiles and nods. She knows what your life is like and that there will be statements and conference calls with Leo and the Joint Chiefs and leaders of Congress and a hundred other people who need to talk to you about things that she can�t know about and even though the thought of Andi leaving and taking the small measure of comfort that she gives you with her makes you want to clutch her to your chest and never let go, you know that you have a job to do and that Sam is going to need you to be strong for him because his best friend�his brother�could die tonight and you need to be able to be strong for your family, something you can�t do when Andi is around because at the moment her presence, while comforting, is making you want to curl up on her lap and hide your face in the crook of her neck.
Her lips brush yours again and then she�s gone. You watch her until she disappears behind the elevator doors and then you go into the waiting room and roll up your sleeves as you sit down across from Sam who somehow managed to keep his leather folio with him even in all the terrifying excitement at the Newseum.
Dr. Bartlet comes in and tells you all what is happening with Josh, her medical-speak going right over your head for the most part. She assures you all that the doctors are top-notch and that Josh is getting the best possible care, though that doesn�t mean much to you because even the best possible care could fall short.