The unspoken list of things that the room upstairs is away from�the press, the trauma unit, the streaks of oxidized blood on the floor that should be flowing through Josh�s veins�hangs in the air between you and Sam and he nods, casting one more look at the double doors that Josh was wheeled through before moving slowly, as if wading through hardening cement, toward the elevator. You avert your eyes as he blinks multiple times to get his tear ducts under control, allowing him what little privacy you can, knowing that he won�t be allowed much in the coming days. Not that he was ever afforded much privacy, being a highly visible and, apparently, visibly pleasing member of the administration, but after the picture with Laurie and now this with Josh� it�s not right, and you wish there was something you could do to stop it�that big brother instinct coming out again, though this time you don�t fight it but embrace it�but there isn�t, not really, because everyone knows that Sam and Josh are close, that they�ve known each other for years, and there is bound to be one reporter who thinks that there�s a story there, which will inevitably get other reporters thinking that there�s a story there. The vicious circle of the press and professional politics.
CJ�s pager starts vibrating against the metal rail she�s leaning against and you all jump, the low rumbling sound echoing in the six-by-six-by-ten box that is slowly ascending to the third floor where the surgical waiting room awaits. She checks the screen and makes a face, something between a smile and a grimace, and you want to laugh at the absurdity of her expression except that her sigh of �Danny� makes your heart ache just a little more, not because you love CJ that way because you haven�t for a long time, but because even though what she and Danny have can�t even be defined as friendship they still have more love between the two of them than you have in your life. The thought of that makes you feel very tired.
Once the elevator comes to a stop CJ rushes out and goes straight to the pay phone at the end of the hall. You don�t question how she knows it�s there�you know it�s just instinct and that if the pay phone wasn�t there she would use her cell phone even though it�s against hospital regulations�or why she�s in such a rush�you know it�s because she loves Danny Concannon even though she can�t be with him, though not more so because he�s untouchable like some women would be.
The waiting room looks like every other hospital waiting room in the country, though the Secret Service agents are a unique touch. Leo goes over to where Charlie and Zoey are already sitting. He takes the girl�s hand and she rests her head on his shoulder. You�re not sure who is offering more comfort to whom, but you realize it doesn�t matter either way. Charlie is clearly shaken, probably wondering how many people he loves will be taken from him by bullets, and you hope he�s called his sister because she has no doubt heard what happened and has to be wondering the same thing.
Sam looks around the room for a minute and you�re not sure he�s actually seeing anything, but then he nods his head toward a corridor and heads off in the direction and you realize he�s found the bathroom and is going to wash up, break down, and gather himself before the others start to arrive. He is gone for almost fifteen minutes, minutes where CJ returns and the First Lady arrives with orders for the doctors and nurses outside the private room you are all in and Leo leaves to meet with the Joint Chiefs and the Vice President, and when Sam returns he passes through the room without stopping, choosing to stand out by the nurses station, as if being that much closer to Josh will make a difference.
You hope it does.