A Day In The Life Of A High Powered Admin Chick

Dear Cosmo,

I read your feature about one high-powered secretary's lifestyle with great interest. What a busy life she leads, 'dashing' out of bed at 6.00am, 'jumping' in the shower at 6.01am, and getting to the office [where she proceeds to organise her boss's calendar for the coming quarter, make coffee for the entire floor and give her boss a cheery wake-me-up blowjob] by 6.02am. I read it and saw many parallels with my own life. So I thought I would send you a bit-by-bit account of my typical day. I love my job. I feel so empowered. Perhaps you will publish my article?

Yours faithfully,

Genevieve Williams


6.15am: Wake up, hear my mother's alarm clock going. Go back to sleep.
6:20am: Wake up, seeing the bathroom light being turned on [I have a glass panel above my door]. Go back to sleep.
7:20am: Wake up as my own alarm clock goes off. Hit snooze button. Go back to sleep.
7:26am: Wake up as my own alarm clock goes off again. Hit snooze button again. Go back to sleep. Repeat every six minutes.
7:45am: Wake up again. Begin to consider the possibility of getting up. Need to be up by 7:50 if i'm going to be in the office on time [9am].
8:20am: Reconsider the possibility of getting up. Get up.
8:30am: Watch GMTV. Do makeup. Procrastinate and prevaricate to fill time.
8:50am: Pick up lunch. Leave house.
8:55am: Wait for bus.
9:26am: Still waiting for bus.
9:43am: Sneak into office.
9:45am: Go to the toilet.
9:48am: Redo my hair.
10:00am: Go back to office. Have a sandwich.
10:10am: Have another sandwich.
10:20am: Check office email. Delete everything.
10:30am: Check personal email. Reply to everything.
11:30am: Check intray. Give out mail to everyone on the floor whose office numbers I can remember. Leave the rest where it is.
11:45am: Have another sandwich.
12:00pm: Open internet explorer. Check messageboards. Check my own site. Check drownedinsound. Check all the sites on my cliques list. Find some new sites to put on my cliques list.
2:00pm: Play solitaire.
2:30pm: Staple some stuff.
3:00pm: Check post again. Ignore everything.
3:10pm: Surf some more sites. Shred whatever [piles of] papers are on my desk if I get really bored.
4:45pm: Go home. Evaluate my day, make an organised list of my tasks for tomorrow. Consider taking on some new projects. Must discuss that with my supervisors. I really feel it's important to be valued in the place where I work, and take pride in my role in the workplace. Consider asking for a promotion/pay rise.