Bill Niklaus, moderator of The Stanner, lover of Angelina Jolie, and interpreter of dreams.

Al Rossin and Britt Bell in the SAC office.

Lisa DelValle (don't know her well), Sonnya Paz (she got me a commuter mug for xmas), Tommas Balducci (don't know him well), and Michael Slagus (a tolerable asshole, I mean Republican).

Matthew Kilkelly, better known as KK (making him one "k" short of a racist). He runs the Student Activity Committe, better known as SAC. The man likes initials, what can I say?

The future Supreme Court Justices: Andrew Schirling, Ashley Regazzi, and Jenise Principe.

Jessica Petschauer, Erica Mundy, and Ashley Regazzi working hard (or hardly working) during the rehearsal of Little Red Riding Hood.

The Stanner office. As well as being the patron saint of inflated breasts and collagen-injected lips, Angelina Jolie is the spiritual guide of the newspaper. (It's not just a poster; it's a three-sided display, six D-cups in all.) Ashley explains: "We were talking about her status as a religious trinity once, three faces looking into the past, present and future, an artificial deity supervising an all too real world."