Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I wonder what you are seeing.
Do you really see me? Or do you see thru me?
Clear your mind, lose your thoughts- Now, what do you see? I am me.
No one else. Just me.
Why do I feel I have lost something in this journey of our lives?
I reach out to you, silently.
I beg you, loudly.
I scream, I rant, I cry.
But that is all wrong.
I try to talk, but the words will never come out. Maybe it is me.
My heart, my thoughts, my memories..... Everything.
Everything growing , expanding, into this journey of my selfish self.
What do I want......
I want fingertips to caress my face, I want soft kisses.
I want that look of love in your eyes that has been misplaced.
I want gentle hugs, I want your compassion.
I want your laughter, I want your attention.
I want the secret key that opens your heart and soul.
I want to know how to reach you, to climb that wall of defensive uncertainty.
But sometimes I just don't understand your way of thinking.
I only want you to be happy. I only want to be happy.
Why do I do it all wrong? Am I so complex that you can't figure me out?
I am a woman.
A caring, feeling, honest, loving, funny, giving woman!
A woman who has given her heart to but one person.
You!
Would you believe someone would give another person the one thing that keeps them alive?
The one thing that is everything.
And now, I will have to leave so I may take a pair of scissors and cut the heart off my sleeve...
which I had so proudly worn for a long time.
Because all I must do now is swallow all my doubts and confusion and just
Shut the Fuck up!