Friday, February 22, 2002 1:05pm
I've decided not to update when I'm in a bad mood, so I didn't update for a few days.
So I'll just tell you what happened. My boyfriend broke up with me. I put up a song on my profile that hurt his feelings, and he took it the wrong way, and he broke up with me. I am an idiot. I am. No matter what anyone says, I am. We were "seeing other people" and I was upset. I wanted him to myself. For some reason, I listened to my friends and told him what I was feeling. Now I do not have him at all. I had half the apple, I wanted the whole apple, and now I have none of the apple. Lesson learned: don't listen to people. No one knows you. Granted, I am saying this and I don't know you, but trust me. Just think about the last time someone came to you for advice. You tell them what you would do in their situation. Yeah, you tell them what YOU would do. You're not your friend. Not that you're not your own friend, but I think you know what I mean. Don't listen to people.
I love grand theft auto three. While i'm not mad at randy, because I have no reason to be, for some reason all the agression went away when I ran over people in a tank. When you get the tank, you can't lose.
And Billy is the coolest. Everyone should have a friend like billy.
So I woke up wednesday to a phone call of "we shouldn't see eachother anymore" and I ended the day when my car got towed. Last wednesday, Laura's and Cathy's AND Keith's cars got towed, and I just go and park in the same towing zone. Perfect end to a perfect day.
I woke up yesterday with the same panic feeling I had at VCU. This worries me. It worries me a whole fuck load of a lot. I can't have that again. It happened again last night but I just really really don't want to do this again. Especially because the person who helped me through the whole thing doesn't want to be with me. Just wish me luck with those everyone, okay? And that was thursday.
I've had the weirdest dreams lately. I will tell you about them. The first one took place at vcu. I had this dream tuesday night, before wednesday. No. Maybe monday night, but definitely before wednesday. So I'm at VCU, and my roommate and I moved into this house. And there's another girl in our room, and in another room of the house there were theese bitchy blone pretty girls. So this new roommate wanted to rearrange the room, so I had to take apart my computer which always sucks because I love my computer. So I realized I was missing a part or something so I was driving to get it and I drove MY CAR INTO A LAKE! But I rememebered that if your car is sinking into a lake, you have to wait until it's completely submurged until you open the door. Something about pressure. So I got out of the car and then I went to this airshow. You know, where they fly planes around and everyone is impressed? So this airshow is really near an amusement park, and the park has a ride where it shoots people up in the air, and then gravity forces them back down to safety. So this person got shot up in the air, and a PLANE HIT THEM!!! And I'm pretty sure they died. Then there was something about being in the water again and Kyle was there.
So then I had this dream where I was in the India/Pakistan war. Huh. I wonder if this is somewhat symbolic of my friends. Huh? I fucking wonder. So I was (suprise suprise) working for the Indian army. And I had to capture these little Pakistani kids and tie scarves around their heads. And they didn't understand that I was bad, because I'm a tiny little white girl. So I asked Nidhi, I mean the indian government, if I could let the little Pakistani kids go. And they said I could. And the kids crawled through barbed wire.
My dream from wednesday night will not be discussed. Something about a door to a beach and Laura's mom is a bitch. That is all you need to know.
On Animal Planet right now, they're giving the dog methamphetamine.
I f-ed up this page. I am a dummy. I apologise.
I am working tonight, and then I dont' work again until sunday. Woah. And I'm only working tonight because John Mukai always looks nice.
Uh... previous next muses back to the beginning of self-indulgence