Okay, here goes again.......... I love writing these.

 

BATHING

 

  Murdoc stared at the objects in Russ' and 2D's hands. He didn't know what they were, where they came from, or what they did. But he sat there, on the toilet in the bathroom, listening closely to 2D so he wouldn't miss anything. "Okay, Murdoc, you're gonna get cleaned up. People at Kong Studios complained of your stench last time we visited, okay? We can't have you embarrassing us like this." he said slowly. He held up the stick with pointy things. "This... is a toothbrush. You scrub the goo and crap off your teeth with it. Teeth are white. Yours are green. Are you following?" 2D said. Murdoc nodded. 2D took up the next hour and a half explaining soap, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, combs, hair gel (like Doc's gonna use THAT crap), and the little scrunchie thingers that you clean yourself with.

  Then 2D held up a bottle with green liquid. Murdoc recognized all sorts of bottles of beer and crap, but this didn't appear to be alcohol. He raised an eyebrow. "Does it get you drunk?" he asked. "No." 2D said. "Does it give ya hangovers?" "No." "Do you drink it from shot glasses?" "Ah...no." 2D gestured towards the words on the bottle. "This is Listerine. It's mouthwash. It makes your breath smell better than yours ever has," he stated. Murdoc glared, baring his sharp (but green) teeth. "Now, Doc, listen here... You're gonna get cleaned up. You remember what we've told ya.....right?" Russel asked. "Well, then, knock yourself out! You're gonna take a shower, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, and brush your hair. Got it?" Russ asked. Murdoc hesitated, but nodded.

  Almost an hour later, the bathroom was still occupied. "Gotta go to bathroom!" Noodle complained, twisting her legs so that she wouldn't wet herself. "Do what I do. Use the backyard," 2D said, flipping channels. Noodle gave him a funny look. He glanced at her. "Oh, nevermind... You wouldn't understand," he said. Finally, Murdoc came out of the bathroom. His hair was still wet, but he looked better. "Do you know how hot that water can GET?" he asked. 2D nodded. "Smile," Russel commanded. Murdoc scratched his head and shrugged. The word 'smile' was foreign. "Just show us your teeth, Doc." Russel said, shaking his head. Murdoc showed whiter teeth, but not quite white. They had a slight yellowish tint, but a whole lot better than before. Murdoc sat down. For the first time in years, he felt... self-confidence returning.