Chapter Four: The Fellopship Learns How to Par-Tay
Spry: (Panting, and out of breath) When you last�..ugh�..left us�..gasp�..Aragorn was�..mercilessly chasing�..me around�..Rivendell�..!!
Aragorn: (Breathing heavily) Yes, and during this time, I failed to catch our dear Spry, only to find out that Arwen already new I didn�t love her anymore�..and was, as you refer to it�..banging Lord Figwit�..
Spry: Yep, major bummer�..errr�..
Aragorn: Ummm�..
Voice: COWABUNGA!!!!
(We see a figure some flying out of the bushes and it knocks Aragorn and Spry over. They all land on the ground with a �thud� and Spry and Aragorn look to see that their attacker is none other that Stevie.)
Stevie: Heya creepy Sprite Lady! Oh, opps, sorry stinky Ranger Man, didn�t mean to sit on ya there.
Aragorn: (Blushing, but Stevie cannot see it) oh, that�s perfectly alright�..
Spry: Blah�..
(Spry gets back up, dragging Stevie up with her. Aragorn gets back up and just stands there looking at the ground. Just then, Sam and Merry run through the bushes.)
Sam: Miss Stevie! Miss Stevie! Miss Kit is trying to tickle poor Mister Frodo to death! You must come quickly!
Merry: Yes, hurry!
Stevie: (Acting terrified) Oh no, Sam! I must go and help you save Frodo from the horrible doomy death of tickliness! Dun dun dun! Fear not Frodo, for I come to rescue you!!!!
Spry: Oh good God!
(Stevie, Merry, and Sam, go running back through the bushes. Aragorn sighs.)
(We go back to a more normal scene where all four girls are sitting chatting in Van�s room.)
Kit: So, what�s on the agenda for tonight?
Harper: Nothing, if you keep molesting the Hobbits.
Stevie: Not this, not again!
Van: I like cheese fries!
Stevie: Aight, so, tonight is the Fellowship banquet thingy whatever.
Harper: Joy.
Kit: Do we get to get dressed up?
Van: Ooooo�..shiney!
Harper: Not if we wanna teach the Fellowship, as well as the rest of Rivendell how to par-tay. Hint. Hint.
Stevie: (Grins) Nice, but how are we gonna do it without out our equipment?
Van: What about creepy Sprite Lady?
Kit: I think that is the one and only good idea you have ever had, Van!
Stevie: Yeah, we can ask her to bring us our stuff, if only we knew for certain that she would!
Harper: Oh, I think she will. She�ll probably think it interesting. Let�s ask!
All: SPRY!
(The four continue to shout the last syllable until Spry magically poofs into the room.)
Spry: (Annoyed) What do you want?
Kit: We need you to do us a little favor�..
(The girls tell their plan to Spry, who seemingly agrees to the scheme.)
Spry: Alright, you guys, you have an hour to get ready for tonight. If your really gonna pull this off, you need cool clothes, sooooo�..I just happened to have stuck your favorite outfits in your rooms. Have fun!
Stevie: Whoo, favorite outfits! This is gonna be great!
Harper: Heh heh heh�..
Van: Uh-oh, Harper did the evil laugh. Tonight is gonna be good!
(The four girls each walk in their �favorite outfits�. In this case, Van�s happens to be a tight white T-shirt with the word �Angel� on it and a pair of tight khakis. Kit is wearing something similar, only her shirt is pink and says �I (Heart) Monkeys�. Stevie comes in wearing a pair of loose fitting black jeans, and a baggy, green t-shirt with a picture of a person that says �It�s all good� and on the back, the same person, �Cool people�. Harper comes in wearing baggy blue jeans, and a baggy blue shirt that says, �Sarcasm is one more service we offer� and is also wearing her trademark blue bandanna and her also blue ski goggles, which are placed above her head for now.)
Kit: Howdy ya�ll!
Gandalf: Oh my�..
Spry: (Pats Gandalf on the shoulder) It�s alright Gandalf, it�s alright�..
Gandalf: This isn�t a normal way for young ladies to behave!
Spry: Yep. That�s probably why they do it. Not to mention the fact that I tend to encourage the behavior. Or at least I can say it�s my fault for the attire. It�s my fault for what�s coming later, too.
Gandalf: (Eyes widen in horror) There�s more?!?
Spry: (Chuckles) Always, my old bearded friend, always.
(The girls walk in and look around for where they want to sit. Naturally, Stevie sits next to Aragorn, and directly across from a very pissed Arwen.)
Stevie: (Looking concerned) Hey, Arwen, you feelin� alright? Ya look a little red over there.
Arwen: (Turning even redder) Why you�
Figwit: (Puts his hand over Arwen�s mouth) You look�..wonderful, Lady Stevie.
Stevie: (Doing and Elvis impression) Why thank you, thank you very much.
Aragorn: Lady Stevie�..I�..
Stevie: Oh, hey Aragorn. Wow, you don�t smell so bad anymore. Cool.
Aragorn: (Blushing) Well�..I�..
Stevie: Ooo�..hey look! Food! Yummmmm�..
(During this Van just happens to sit down next to Legolas, who attempts to �compliment� her on her attire.)
Legolas: Lady Van, you look�..really�..nice�..
Van: (Looking at him) Do you know who you remind me of?
Legolas: No, I don�t. Who?
Van: You remind me of Skippy!
Legolas: Skippy? What is this�..or who is this�..Skippy?
Van: (Giggling) Skippy was my hamster! I think you look like him! I mean, sure, you�re not covered in fuzz like him, but you have his beady little eyes�..only bigger! It was sad though, Skippy died! He was fine one minute�..and he was dead the next�..I cried for months!
Legolas: I find it hard to believe you cried for months. What is a hamster anyway?
Van: I did cry for months! Oh, and a hamster is a little fuzz ball, kinda like a mouse, only chubbier!
Legolas: Oh, wonderful. I have eyes like a mouse!
Van: Yeah, they�re cute. Hey, you can be my new hamster! I�ll call you Leggy!
Legolas: What have I gotten myself into?
(Kit decided to sit next to Frodo. All in all, Frodo really didn�t mind. There�s something new.)
Frodo: You look, well, very interesting, Lady Kit.
Kit: Yeah, and you�re a hot �lil hobbitty dude!
Frodo: (Looking puzzled) You talk very strangely. It is going to take a while for me to learn to understand what you are saying, you know.
Kit: Ah, don�t worry, baby. I�m sure your hobbitty brain will figure it out fast!
Frodo: I hope so. You�re really beginning to confuse me!
(Well, that�s three down, one to go. Now who else would Harper get stuck sitting next to then the good old Heir to the Steward of Gondor, Boromir himself? Absolutely no one!)
Boromir: (Looking a tad peeved) Must you sit next to me?
Harper: Yeah, yeah. I know, you�d much rather have me sit *on* you, you pervert!
Boromir: You are sick. I hate you.
Harper: (Smirking) Yeah, I know you love me. I�m just feeling the love, baby. Hey, is it just me, or are you looking a little peeved?
Boromir: I have no idea what you�re talking about.
Harper: (Laughing) You liar. Haha, you�re peeved.
Boromir: (Getting very angry) Silence, woman.
Harper: What did I tell you about the woman thing, Mr. Peevy?
Boromir: I could have sworn I told you to be quiet.
Harper: (Mimicking Boromir) I could have sworn I told you to be quiet.
(The two continue to argue and poke each other for some time, before, during, and after the food comes out. So far, everything seems nice and normal!)
Spry: (Standing up to make an announcement) As you all know, four of the guests here tonight are not of this world. They would like to show their gratitude for your hospitality by putting on a little show for you. Due to space restraints, this little show will be held outside in the garden. Any who wish to attend may due so. Thankye.
(Everyone in the dining hall gets up and leaves. The four girls run to beat them all there to set up for their little �performance�. To the rest of Rivendell�s surprise, and possibly your own, the girls are set up on what appears to be a randomly placed wooden platform in the middle of the garden. We see a bunch of microphones and a stereo system. Stevie is standing behind the front mic, putting the strap of a guitar around her neck, and Kit is doing the same with a bass. Harper is sitting behind a drum set and Van is sitting behind a keyboard. If you weren�t scared before, you should be now.)
Stevie: (Talking into the microphone) Yo, whaddup dudes?
Audience: (Eerie silence)
Stevie: Well, we�re the Spaztic Noodles, and we are going to perform tonight. Yeah, so here it goes.
(They start doing that thing we like to call �creating music� back here, but in Rivendell I think it becomes �making dreadful racket�)
Stevie: She paints her nails
And she don't know
He's got her best friend on the phone
She'll wash her hair
His dirty clothes
And all he gives to her
And he's got posters on the wall
Of all the girls he wish she was
And he means everything to her
Her boyfriend
He don't know anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that I could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
It's Friday night and
She's all alone
He's a million miles away
She's dressed to kill
The TV's on
He's connected to the sound
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before
And she knows all his favorite songs
Her boyfriend
He don't know anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that I could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Her boyfriend
He don't know anything about her
He's too stoned
He's too stoned
He's too stoned
He's too stoned
Her boyfriend
He don't know anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that I could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Yeah she's the flavor of the week
She makes me weak
Audience: (Still in eerie silence. Then they start cheering and clapping and stuff)
Kit: That was cool.
Harper: Whoo, drums, my friend!
Van: They like me, they really really like me!
Stevie: That was way spiffy. I�m going to bed.
Spry: And so, our heroines taught the Fellowship, as well as the rest of Rivendell, how to par-tay. Join us next time for some more insane fun, here, where insanity abounds�..
