| a word from the bird |
 |
| Click the arrow to return to the loving arms of Granny |
| Granny has a new cat. The thing is just plain evil. I went over to her house last night, and the cat was hiding. I finally find the little monster and it's hissing and scratching at me. Granny keeps going "oh, the cat is so sweet, it's so nice" and as she goes to pet it, it hisses at her and swats. I hate Granny's new cat It was sent here by Satan and must be destroyed. She named it "Adelaide" which was the name of Granny's crazy Granny (yes, it seems to run in the family) I hate the blasted beast. I have pictures just waiting to be published on here. Granny and I went to the banquet and it sucked! It was a bunch of old ladies with fat legs and big butts. The smell in the room was of cheap hairspray and jovan musk. The M.C. kept telling jokes about polish people and chinese prostitutes. I drank my wine and gazed at my dried out pork loin. I wanted the torture to end. The exciting part was when they gave away crap. Everyone won but me. The odds of losing were high. Eventually I won. What I won however took the taco. On every table they had vases that looked like giant glass vaginas. I was the proud winner of a big vagina vase. Everyone complimented me on the vase. I was so embarassed to carry it around, I felt like a pervert. I hid my eyes from the children that were in the room. I was filled with shame. Granny liked the vase. I am planning on doing an overhaul with the website. There are so many new additions that I must make. I will be doing this right after I return. I'll be gone for a few days, I am flying to New York City. Granny is coming with me, but not as you might think. I am going to do some cheap ass advertising with my nifty www.mycrazygranny.com t-shirt. I am going to hit the Today show, and TRL. I have an idea. The big apple seems like a great place to spread the word! If any of you have A LOT of time on your hands, have web design skills, and LOVE this website, send me an email. I am looking for someone to do maintence on the website since I am doing a piss poor job. I work so damned much I can't keep up. I'll write more when I return from NYC. Luv, me |
| 3/6/2002 |
| Yes....I have returned! After a couple of months of neglect, I have decided that I should maintain this site, seeing as so many people hate it...and so many people love it too. Even my own mother is angered that I have not kept things current. The main reason the site has been untouched is named Larry. Larry lives in New York. I told Larry he could play with my camera for a few days and then send it to me. I was without my camera for over 2 months!!! DAMN YOU LARRY! So, the latest word is that we were featured in URB magazine. Yay. Crazy Granny has circled the globe. Now, to let you know how I AM DOING (yes, I know some of you care)..I am doing wonderfully! I've been busy as all hell. Working, had my tonsils removed (I swear I was cursed), went to New York, tried and failed to romance a delivery boy, and still didn't make a dime off of t-shirt sales (you should look into buying one) I've gotten numerous offers from people wanting to help keep the website alive and well. I am still looking and everyone is considered. Granny is still crazy as hell, and now she is on a mission to fill my house with shit from her house. Everytime I go to visit her, she'll hand me a tattered plastic bag, it's always filled with the most random shit! The last bag I got had 2 empty envelopes, a pair of panties that were used to dust the house , a bag of strings for a guitar, an empty pepsi can, and 10 magazines from 1972. I just don't understand, she claims it's all mine....but I don't own a guitar, and I wasn't even alive in 1972. I'll get back to you all in a few days.....I need to go visit Crazy Granny's house. My brother is having problems with his tonsils now. I still think Granny is trying to kill us. Luv, me |
| 5/13/2002 |