"i... i'm sorry." she whispered. she looked at her parents and then looked at her feet. she all of a sudden felt so ashamed. How dare she accuse anyone of hitting her.

"I cant believe you would accuse anyone of that, jessie. no, I wont believe that zac, your brother zac of all people, abuses you." her father said loudly. he was pacing the room, and had this intimidating look about him, that he only had when he was so irate he could hardly control his timper.

diana picked up her daughters hand, and stroked it lovingly. "just tell us the truth jess. we wont be mad. i promise."

jessica just stared back at her parents dumbly. they didn't understand, did they? her brother, took her into the woods, and smacked her around, almost every single day. jessica lifted her shirt to show her mother the bruises on her stomach.

"what do you think to prove by that?!" walker yelled, yanking her shirt back down.

"That I say Zac, is beating me." she whispered back. her dad looked as if he were about to slap her. she glared at him. she didn't want to take this anymore. if they didn't believe her, she would be dragged into the woods, and if that happened, she wasn't sure she'd ever come back. it took enough guts to tell on her brother in the first place. each and every time she was back there, he yelled, 'if you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you!'
suddenly, she jerked herself up, looked her father in the eye and said in a cold deadly voice, "hit me. i dare you. then you'll understand why zac hits me too." The glare and the hate in her eyes was enough to unnerve her father. she was damned glad about it too. she had been pushed around enough as it was.

diana stood up next to jessica and said in a soft voice, "walker would never hit you jessica. what makes you think he would?"

with out taking his eyes off his daughter he whispered, "I almost did diana. dont try to protect me here. she was right about me." he paused then glanced around him. he lived in a real nice house, with what most would call an ideal family. he came from a rather large family, though smaller then the one he was living in now, so he was used to being around people. he couldn't believe that his son, his wacky zacky would hit anything, least of all his own sister. "But I dont believe her about zac. he couldn't have done something this horrible."

jessica's eyes faltered, and she looked out the kitchen window, and into their backyard. there was a small plastic fense, and then a bunch of trees and shrubery. "ok." she said. 'i'm lying. i'm lying about the whole thing. I just wanted to get zac introuble. he just.... annoys me, and he wont stop. That is truth. i swear. i had my friend come over, and she drew these on my stomach. nice artist, huh? almost looks real. I'm sorry. dont blame zac. itz my fault like you said." she finally confessed.

"why did you lie?" walker asked softly and sat down. he was relieved.

she sighed. which one was he talking about? the one that he concidered a lie, or the one she just dished out? "because. i never get any attention from anyone. it was either my brothers, or my sisters. I'm sick of being left out." She whispered and a tear fell from her eye. great, she thought. at least I can be convincing, if not for the wrong reasons.

he nodded. "you can go to your room now." walker said hoarsly. there was no need for it. she just sounded so pathetic.

he waited for her to finish climbing the stairs, and enter her room, before following her in there.

"what the hell is your fucking problem?" He yelled under his breath. "I thought i told you not to fucking tell!"

she looked down. he pushed her against her bed. 'anwser me, damnit!" she looked up at him with pure shock and fright in her eyes. if he noticed it, he didn't care.

'i'm sorry." she whispered. "I... I'm sorry.' for what? she thought absently. wasn't she was victim here?

then it started. he threw his fists repeatedly into her stomach. she had learned to just.. keep quiet. her tears always seemed to find a way out, no matter how hard she tried to keep them in.

he stopped. slowly, she opened her eyes, and looked around. he was just staring at her. she crawled away from him to the other side of the bed,and curled up into a ball.

zac pulled her hair, and slapped her once more, then he left muttering about what abitch she was.

"jessi?' mack asked, sitting next to my bed. he looked at me oddly when I opened her eyes. "why is there a hand print on your cheek?" he asked.

"Because I did something bad, and I felt gulity so i slapped myself." I replied, and rolled onto my side. my intire body, ached, even where he didnt hit me.

"mommy and daddy want to talk to you." he said then left the room.
I quickly crawled out of bed, check my stomach. it was nearly black.no cuts luckily that time, so I grabbed her make-up bag, and tried to conceal the hand print on my face. zac never hit my face before, so I never had to worry about it. slowly, mack came back in and said,

"jessi? why is there a clump of hair outside zacs door?" I realized then my head was throbbing.

"I dont know sweetie."he nodded and left. I finally made my way downstairs, and into the den where they waited with zac.

'mack said there was a hand print on your face. I dont see anything." walker said.

'silly me, i slapped myself last night because i felt so bad.' i lied. damn that slid out of me so easily.

Zac only raised his eyebrow. 'see, i told you i didn't do anything.' he snottily remarked.
so thats what this is all about.... hmm. i should have told the truth. no going back now.

"Mack said he saw zac beating you last night."diana finally said.

I just shrugged.

'did he?" dad pressed on.

i stood up and glared at him. "you didn't believe me before. why would you concider it now?" with that, i turned on my heels, but my dad wrapped his arm around my stomach. "OW!" I screamed, and he imeddetily let go, but grabbed my hand.

'lift up your shirt." he whispered.

"no." i replied, and tried pulling my hand out of his grasp. I glanced at zac, and he was just glaring at me.

'do it. i didn't touch you though. did i?' he said, and stood up.

i shook my head. "I already said, i was lying-" dad's grasp was tighter.

"Lift your shirt." he demanded.

I nodded. "I dont see what itz going to matter..." i trailed off as zac tore my hands away. he ran out of the room, and up the stairs.

My parents just lifted my shirt again, and shook their heads. 'you must have colored them in.' walker said. he wiped off a stream of blood. my face went white. they looked at me.

"But... he wasnt wearing any rings. nothing that would have cut me.' i whispered. i ran out of the room, and straight to mine.

"i'm sorry." she whispered pitifully. he stopped.

'your just a waste of time.' he muttered and went back to his own room. she locked her door, and then climbed over to her bed and cried. She didn't leave her room that day.

zac came back downstairs, and they confronted him with the accusation.

he shook his head in defense. "i wouldn't do that." he blatantly lied. They knew the truth. it was all a matter of time before he was grounded. but he'd just blame it on her.

"dont lie to me zac." his dad said hoarsly. he had to much today. it wasn't even noon yet.

Zac pushed a golden lock of hair behind his ear. 'i'm not." he replied, and stood up. 'why would you take her side in this?" he asked. "itz obvious shes lying! shes made an art out of it. you've seen the people she hangs out with! maybe it was her boyfriend or something."

diana said softly, "perhaps she hangs out with them, because they dont hit her. unlike members of her family."

he looked ginuienly surprised. "you mean someone else is also beating her?" he realized his mistake then.

walker back-handed his son. "get out." he whispered. zac looked up at his dad, and nodded. he walked out of the house, and then they heard the door shut.

everyone cleared out as soon as zac entered the room. he sighed and grabbed a plate to put some chicken on. he had overstayed his welcome at all his friends house. a week ago. Pride would not let him come home.
until he was at the park and he was nearly mobbed by girls. but he didn't really think anyone would care. so he didn't mention it.

after his chicken leg was gone, he went outside, hopped over the fense into the shrubbery. he looked around, and suddenly saw a flash of blond hair, not far from where he was. he knew who it was; the only person not in the dinning room.
Jessi.

zac slowly crept up on her, to watch what she was doing. she looked like she had just been dancing, and singing and having fun.

it occured to him that he missed seeing her like that. He made himself known to her presence.

she looked over her shoulder, then back to what she was doing. inside, she panicked. on the outside, she was fine. she kept collecting the flowers she was gonna give to her mom, and sisters. but he came closer. she got ready for the first blow. but it never came. a warm hand landed on her shoulder, and she freaked and threw the flowers all over the place.

zac pulled back his hand as if it were iron burnt. he looked into his sisters eyes, and just wanted to cry. Had he done this to her? had it been him that made her so paranoid of his touch?

'what do you want?' she asked softly. then she suddenly shook her head. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't snap at you."

he shoved his fist into her stomach,and she doubled over. she looked up at him with pure hate in her eyes, as he did it again and again.

"I'm sorry zac!" She cried. tears poured over her cheeks, and on the ground. "i'm so sorry! I dont know what i did wrong, but if you just tell me, then i'll stop. I'm so sorry you have to beat me! I'm just sorry!"

he stood up, and looked at her. he scared himself, suddenly. she stood up, starightened out her dress, and wiped away her tears.

zac stood there, absolutely dumb-founded. he took a step closer to her, and she looked at her feet. what the hell had he done? He grabbed her hand, and before she could do anything, pulled her into a big hug, and hugged her tight. at first she tried squriming, but then just stood there numb. no tears. no emotion.
"dont ever apolgize to me again, do you understand?" he whispered harshly. 'itz not your fault. You never ever did anything wrong. except for letting this go on as long as it has. i am so sorry jessica. I know no matter what i say, you'll probably never forgive me." he shook his head, as he felt the tears start to come down.
"I dont know what has gotten into me these last few months. all I know is that I regret it. I never should have taken my anger out on you. look what I've done you jess. you cant even look me in the eye, or dare to dissagree with me, before turning your head down ready for a beating." he whispered. he put her at arms length, and forced her face up with the back of his hand. she wouldn't look at him. 'look at me.' He said. she did, but then he looked away. 'itz not your fault. do you understand?" he asked.

jessica looked so hurt, he thought.

she looked at him, with her big blue eyes. "why?" she asked. "why me? what did I do wrong?"

zac suddenly had this urge to shake her. didn't she understand that it wasn't her fault?! he shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong. I did. I allowed myself to think I didn't care about you. i allowed myself to take my anger out on my babysister. I allowed myself to scare the hell into. I allowed myself to make you scared of me. I dont want that jess. itz not your fault! you didn't do anything wrong!"

She jerked out of his grasp, , but much easier then she would have thought, to put some space inbetween the two. "but, why me?" she aske once again.

zac looked down, feeling like he was trapped in a corner. 'because taylor would have beaten the shit out of me, and so would have isaac, and the others are too young." he whispered. He looked up at her and shook his head. 'I should have found another way to express myself. I know I should. I know I need to. I've been trying to the last two weeks. You have to believe me jess. I never wanted to hurt you. you were just convienent."

she stared at him for a moment, not believing what she was hearing. 'are you serious?" she asked him. he nodded. she shook her head. "for the last few months, I've been blaming your anger on me. it was always something I had done, but not sure what it was. now your telling me that I was just conveinent? no zac. you hurt me. you really hurt me." she decided that he wasn't gonna hit her. so she was gonna speak her mind. "I hated lying to mack. he loves you zac. everybody loves you. your the one that keeps this family together. dont you dare tell me that I was convient. tell me the truth."

he shook his head and looked her in the eyes. "I am. You were nothing but a convience for me. i need to relase my anger. i was just... so angry. at the world, not at you. I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm sorry." with that, he turned around and went back inside.

He saw his brothers in the basement. he was hoping they weren't there. Zac wasn't ready to deal with them yet.

"what?" taylor snapped.

"I'm sorry." Zac replied. isaac kept fiddling around on his guitar, while looking up at zac.

"For what?" Isaac asked.

"everything." Zac replied bluntly. he sighed and walked further into the room. "I'm sorry I took my anger out on jess, i'm sorry i allowed my self to, i'm sorry i threatened her, i'm sorry i scared the shit into her, I'm sorry I made my family hate me and i'm sorry for anything else i haven't mentioned."

"why are you apolgizing to us? jessi is the one who got the crap beaten out of her." taylor retored.

"I already did." zac replied, and ran his hand through his messy hair. "I will certainly be damned if she ever forgives me too. "He shook his head, as tears started coming down his cheeks. he wiped them away, but they kept replacing each other. 'if i were in her place, i sure as hell wouldn't." he choked on a sob.''god, where did i go wrong? why did I have to do it that way?!" he yelled and just colasped in a tearful pit of misery.

His brothers we're seemingling unaffected by his tears.

"zac?" Jessi asked softly from the door way. she walked over to him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "itz ok zac. I forgive you." She whispered. she didn't know if he had heard her or not. until he replied.

"how could you possibly forgive me?" he asked.

She looked up, and glared at her brothers. if looks could kill... well. lets not get in that right now.
''your my big brother. we all make mistakes i and know you realize that. so what your gonna do, is your gonna go to anger managment classes, and your gonna get better. otherwise I'll have mom and dad kick you out for good. and believe my zaccy, they will unless you get better, ok?"

He just looked up at her. she not realizing it glanced away, not wanting to see what was in his eyes. "Look at me." he whispered.

she slowly glanced back at hime, and she was stunned. not one hint of anger like she had expected. He hugged her real tight, and mumbled, "i'm so sorry."