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40 things in the life of a Portuguese Child
- You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
- You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sanweesha."
- Your family dog understood Portuguese.
- Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
- You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
- You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
- You thought killing the pig each year and having torressmos, morcella, linguica and a hanging dead pig from the ceiling was absolutely normal.
- You ate sopa de covos for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
- You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
- You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
- You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
- You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
- Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
- You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
- You thought that everyone made their own bread.
- You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.
- You ate your salad after the main course.
- You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
- Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.
- You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
- You can understand Portuguese but you can't speak it.
- You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.
- All of your uncles fled to America to not go to the war in Angola or they went to the war in Angola.
- You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.
- You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
- You have relatives you don't speak to.
- You drank wine before you were a teenager.
- You were pinched under the arm in church by your mother.
- You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing, or a grape vine covering it.
- Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
- You thought that talking loud was normal.
- You thought sugared almonds were common at all weddings.
- You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
- Your! mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
- There was a crucifix in every room of the house,
- You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (oh, and he has to be Portuguese)
- You called any pasta "spaghetti".
- You dreaded taking out your lunch at school
- Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coff! ee over Tia's house.
- Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.
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