Who is Jack Shit?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit. Awe Shit, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Shit, the owner of Needeep N. Shit, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Shit married No Shit. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Dead Shit and Dip Shit.

Against her parent's objections, Deap Shit married Dumb Shit, a high Shool dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and No Shit divorced. No Shit later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as No Shit Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Loda Shit, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit. Two of the other six children, Fulla Shit and Giva Shit, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Shit-Happens nuptials. The Shit-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Shit, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Shit.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit," you can correct them.

As you can see, Jack's family tree doesn't branch well, and that's why The Shit's have a fucked family.