| July 21: In case nobody noticed, I was away this weekend. Me, Rachel, Jamie, Daniel (Jamie's friend), My dad, Claudia (his girlfriend), Lacey (her daughter), and Shaki (her friend) went to Coco Beach this weekend. I got sunburned, we hung out at the beach, the pool, and went to the nearby arcade. Lazer tag rocks! I had alot of fun and me and Rachel finally had a long awaited talk (mostly about Danny because we were having a problem that night). We acted like girls together for I think one of the first times ever! Washing the face and doing each other's hair. I don't ever do that so it was odd. Anyways, I really enjoyed spending time with her... and the beach. I don't usually like the beach because no one will swim with me but since all Rachel wanted to do was swim I had fun. I should go to the beach with her more often. I asked my dad if he was going to go to the warped tour with us (we sorta needed him to go so we could have a ride to pompano) and he said YES! so now I'm really excited because were all going to have a ride there and I think Kristen's mom will say yes if there is an adult there! woo hoo! Anyways, I have a major problem with jealousy. I let myself care too much about what Danny is doing and I need to stop that but I don't know how. This is one of the things that I hate about myself. I overreact to things (that I have a right to be upset with but not to overreact the way I do) and that just makes danny totally disregaurd what I'm feeling because I'm acting ridiculously. Like, instead of saying "Danny, that upsets me" I scream and cry and just totally act really dumb. Were going to have a talk about what we want to do about our relationship because we've been fighting alot and everything just isn't peachy. I really feel like he doesn't call me anymore and doesn't do anything for me anymore... he wants his space but I don't know how much space I can give him after 2 and a half years without wondering if he's tired of me. Maybe I'm tired of him... i don't know. I'm really confused and I hate that. I'm going to put a personals ad up here soon that says what I want... if I can ever figure it out. On an entirely different note, i get my drivers license in 3 weeks! i am so excited!!!!! And I'm trying to plan a road trip for me and my freinds down to Coco again or maybe tampa so I get to show off my driving skills! Woo hoo!!!!! Tim says I should have a comment box for each blog so I hope he'll teach me how to do that so that you guys can tell me how dumb I am.... grrr... I hate you all. Well, not really. July 18: Danny is sitting on the phone telling me that he doesn't like the fact that I get everything that I want. I'm not a spoiled brat... I don't understand the problem. He's sitting here telling me that he doesn't like that part of me because I'm handed everything in life. Well screw him! I can't believe that he can be upset with me because I actually get what I want and he doesn't. Well, I'm sorry my family isn't poor and I don't know what it's like to have to share a bedroom with your mother and your brother but that is not my fault. Nor, do I want to go through that. And I'm sorry my dad bought me a 6000 dollar car, but your dad bought you a 4000 dollar one. Don't be a hypocrite jackass! Just because I don't have to spend money on the things I want doesn't mean that I don't. I have spent almost all of my birthday money on things I need that my mother will not have to pay for. School clothes, a sewing maching, and a stereo... the latter of the two I'm going to take to college. And the only reason he's doing this is because I hate that he went to a tanning salon. I think that that is vain and silly and feminine and very very unattractive! Tanning salons are not for 16 year old boys otherwise they'd have beds in the barber shop. That's gross... if you want a tan then go earn it, like a man. Play a sport or something. He's trying to make me feel what it's like... I hate him for that. July 17: Actually it's more like July 18 because it 11:59 but I am bored and want to blog. I am feeling rather notalgic today because I decided that I am going to give up my neopets account. I know, Tragic right? Well some 12 year old kid is going to get it and some really desperate chick is getting some expensive items because she neomailed me like 100 times asking me for it. I've been really bored today... sitting around on the computer. I also find it hilarious that I've been promising myself I was going to go running "in an hour" and now it's too late to do any sort of self help crap! Damnit, I'm trying to lose weight. (I don't wanna be taller AND heavier than everyone else). I'm really excited about the warped tour finally... woo hoo! and I need to get to work on my AP English homework. Right now I'm sorta stressed out in a bored, not caring sorta way. It's really getting to me how much people rely on me to do stuff. Mrs. Castenado came online to talk on AIM with me today for 5 minutes and also reminded me that I have to study my character for "The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940" before school starts. Also, this 9/11 thing is taking a really long time! Like an hour for 5 actual seconds of slideshow. It's discouraging but I must admit what I have done is great for a beginer. <Look it's so late I can't spell. My brain turned off for the day. I'm going to CoCo Beach this weekend with Rachel and am therefore getting off work early! Woo hoo! I have now maintained that I am an utter failure at being who I want to be. All of my guy freinds are gone, which is a considerable loss to me because now I have to deal with feeling tall all day every day. Besides the fact, when I do meet a new guy that I could potentially be freinds with, I screw it up by acting dumb or being idiotic. Sometimes I hate the way I am... July 16: I had a really really hard day at work today. So many little kids, so little time! Plus, I had to stay an hour later than everyone else in order to not make everyone else come in a half hour early on Friday. I'm such a nice person :) j/k. Me and Rachel are probably going to go to the Warped Tour in a few weeks, that should be really neat. I asked Krystall and Kristen if they wanna come and I'll probably ask Marc, so that we can go to a concert with a guy. I don't feel safe going to punk concerts by myself. I just got into a fight with my mom and dad (mostly my mom) so I'm feeling pretty shitty right now. More on my feelings about my family later... there will probably be a whole page on that! I'll probably end up doing some work on my dad's quilt tonight just because I don't wanna have to think. Now, I'm pretty much grounded for eternity so I'm going to have to find some place else to live. I hate it here, but I love the location. I can't go live with my dad and Claudia. Five people in one townhouse is a little much, besides the fact that I don't think I like all five of those people.... Anyone got a place I could stay at for little to NO money?! Plus I'm having relationship problems, more about that later too. I can't believe that my boyfreind of 2 and a half years still hasn't seen my webpage. I keep reminding him but he's always too busy. It really hurts when everyone is too busy for me. I know I'm really busy too but I'm trying to make sure that I'm not too busy for anyone that wants to hang out with me. Now, I'm going to be too grounded to hang out with anyone. Damn me and my mouth! I can't keep it shut! I know I didn't say anything wrong but I still wish that I could keep my feelings inside and cry them out later, like I used to. July 13: I never got to see Mr. Deeds so don't ask how it was, my mom was being stupid so we ended up going out to dinner. Which was actually pretty nice. Danny just showed up at my door as a suprise visit! Awww... how cute! He's actually doing cute things now, I don't know why he changed but he did. Which is a definate good thing, what he's doing. I miss hanging out with all my freinds, although I have really enjoyed the past couple times I hung out with marc and justin and krystall and derek. The Nintendo Game Cube is really fun! And I'm actually OK at some of the games... scary huh? I'm done with all the sewing that I know how to do on my quilt, I hope I can meet up again with my "instructor" soon so I can keep going! July 11: Ok, so this thing isn't annoying yet, and I added an all about me link to the right ------------------------------------> Soon, I hope to get some pictures on there from my digital camera but I'm having some problems with Kodak. GRRRR! The 9/11 tribute script that I'm writing the first draft for is almost done, I'm really excited about that! Plus, I started a quilt today! It's blue and yellow! All pretty and stuff!!I'll put up pics of that too, as soon as I can (GRRR again to Kodak). I'm going to see Mr. Deeds tonight with Danny (my boyfreind for those of who you don't know). I'll tell you guys how it is. My mommy says hi guys!!! :) July 9: I should be getting ready for work soon but... oh well, I'm not sure where this website is going to go but it is for damn sure better than xanga!!! I'm gonna try and learn html (THANKS KRISTEN) this summer so if anyone has any tips for me or cool codes please e-mail them to me at [email protected] and I will try to put them on the site!... Anyways, we have a drama meeting tomorrow for the september 11 thingy and I have yet to write my scenes. OOPS!!!! |
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