It seems that most of the lesbians that I know are survivors of one kind of an abuse or another. I cannot say if that is a cause and effect thing or if it is simply a sad fact that so very many children are abused in our society. All I know for sure is that survivors are rampant in "my" community (and in society as a whole) and many of them are still suffering from the things that were done to them years ago.
I was never abused as a child, but I was raped by my "boyfriend" when I was 13. I don't claim to understand what it is a survivor of child abuse has gone through. But I do try to be sympathetic, to listen when someone wants to talk. I am not a therapist and I think that survivors need to see a professional for the major issues, but a friend can always listen and offer a hug of reassurance. I also know, from time spent with survivors, that the expectation of "complete recovery" is a hope, but not often a reality. Let's face it, when someone suffers through horrific things in childhood, there are bound to be some mental scars that just don't go away. Now, I am not saying that a survivor can never be happy with themself or even that they can never forgive their abusers. What I am saying is that they will never forget what happened to them and some residual effects, like nightmares on occassion, shouldn't be considered as some kind of step-backwards.
Abuse happens everywhere. It doesn't discriminate by race, religion or socioeconomic class. Thank God that times are changing and people no longer think that "professional people" don't abuse their kids. At least, now, it gets reported (some of the time) when the kid from the rich family down the block starts showing signs that someone has been beating on him or molesting her. I am sorry that it has taken society so long to open it's eyes, but at least there is hope for the future.
If it's happening to you or to someone you know, if someone is hurting you or touching you in ways you know they shouldn't, TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU TRUST! Kids and teenagers have rights too. If you are a survivor having problems and haven't sought help, get to a counselor. Find a therapist that you can trust and let the healing begin. The table at the bottom of this page contains links to online resources. Check them out, if you have a mind too. They are worth a visit.
