“Mungojerrie and Olav... Olav and Mungojerrie... Mario and Mia, doesn’t that sound nice, Teazer? Mario and Mia; it’s so nice,” Mungojerrie rambled, playing with the red ball – it reminded him of her collar.
“As nice as mice,” she muttered from the basket.
“How are you feeling by the way?” He wanted to make sure that the kittens weren’t coming, at the moment at least.
“I feel fat,” Rumpelteazer moaned, placing her paws on to her swollen stomach. She had gone to the vet’s two weeks ago – she and the kittens were dubbed ‘fine’ – and were due in another week.
Mungojerrie looked up from the rubber ball he was hitting against the wall and gave her a playful smirk, “That’s because you are fat.”
Rumpelteazer glared over at him, speaking in a threatening voice, “Mungojerrie, never ever said that to another queen again. If you say it to a queen who’s not pregnant, she’ll just hurt you but if she’s in my condition then,” She took a shuddering breath as her voice grew softer, “she’ll just... she’ll just...”
“Teaze, I’m sorry,” He apologized, approaching the crying queen, “I didn’t mean to-”
“We’re not supposed to be this emotional,” she cried, hitting the basket in frustration. “We’re not.”
“I know what will cheer you up,” he said in a bright voice, hopping that his mood would rub off on her, “Cook made some Argentine Joint; do you want some? I’ll go get you some.” He ran up the stair as she attempted to stop sobbing. He padded about in the kitchen, trying his best to look casual – innocent. It seemed to have worked; either that or the cook was too busy to notice him. He jumped upon the stool at the banquette and scanned the counter in front of him for the meat. It was some five feet away from him, half carved; an easy steal. Just need to pick up some of the slices and go. He leapt to the next stool and crouched down, incase the movement caught the help’s eye. He counted to twenty and slowly looked up; the cook was stirring something at the stove, her back to him. He took a tentative step onto the counter, carefully walking over the bowls of mashed potatoes and the gravy boat. He sniffed the Joint, purring at the sight of it. He picked up a few pieces in his mouth and climbed back down, making the least amount of noise possible.
Proud that he executed it so well, he strode back toward the basement to share his prize. As he passed the kitty door he stopped, his ears twitched and something told him to look out. “Mungojerrie...” He poked his head out the door, after scanning inside first, and saw Munkustrap sitting on the step, next to the door, “Hello there.”
“Wha are hoo,” he stopped, dropping the meat on the porch, “What are you doing here, Munk?”
The silver tabby watched him climb out and gave a smile, “I heard what you did.”
“What did I do?”
“To Rumpelteazer...” he said with a grin.
“You mean you heard that I called her fat?”
“No I- wait, you called her fat? Are you crazy, you don’t tell a queen she’s fat unless you have a death wish,” Munkustrap exclaimed.
“So I’ve heard,” he said sheepishly, “What did you mean though?”
“Old Deuteronomy told me that she’s pregnant,” he said placidly, his silver and grey fur looking splendid against the snowy white background. “He also told me that you’re the father. How is she doing?”
“She’s well, a little emotional though. I’m hoping that the food will cheer her up.”
Munkustrap nodded, “That’s understandable, that’s how Demeter was last year. It happens every now and then. When is she due?”
“A sometime next week, give or take a day,” he said, biting his lip, “Did you tell Demeter yet?”
“No, I just heard about it myself, came over her to congratulate the two of you,” he said, messing up Mungo’s head fur with his paw, “Why; do you not want her to know?”
“I’m not sure, really... Sure, you can tell her and the others. Just so long as they don’t all come at once. After all, Jellicle cats only meet once a year at the Jellicle Ball and I don’t think my humans would take too kindly to it being in their house. Regardless how much of a privilege it is,” he smiled.
“Very well,” he nodded, getting up to leave, “I best be heading off, don’t want to be late for supper. Give my regards to Rumpelteazer.”
“And mine to Demeter,” Mungo said as he bided the tribe’s Protector ‘good-bye’. He picked the stolen good back up and walked back in and to the basement.
“Hey, kits,” Mungo stopped, hearing Rumpelteazer talking – to the kittens? She didn’t have them when he was gone did she? He poked his head around the corner and saw her talking to her stomach.
“Name’s Rumpelteazer, but you can call me ‘Mommy’ if it’s easier for you; and I love you. Your Daddy’s name is Mungojerrie and he... Well, your Daddy really likes this queen – her name’s Olav, or Mia, which ever you prefer. He thinks that she’s the best thing since easy-open food pouches. He talks about her a lot so, no doubt that you’ll be hearing about her. It’s not that I don’t like her, or him being with her, but I just wish that he wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about it. I always feel so guilty whenever he mentions her because, well, I wish that he wasn’t with her. I wish that he was alone, like me.” Mungojerrie cocked his head; she’s jealous over them? “Not that I truly am alone; I have to haul all of you around with me... It’s just that, when we found out that I was... am pregnant I told Lavvy – this tom I was seeing – about it. It didn’t end well, we broke up. Not that I’m blaming you, it’s probably for the best really. You don’t want to be with someone who won’t help you, stick it out through thick and thin, you know. You queens remember that. And you toms are going to be gentlemen; you’ll know how to treat queens right.” She kissed her paw and placed it on her womb, “Everlasting Cat, I can’t wait until you’re all out of me. So then I can see you little toes, noses, ears... My feet...”
Mungojerrie gave a small smile as he walked down the stairs, Rumpelteazer looking up at him. ‘Best play it innocent,’ he decided. “Were you talking to yourself?”
“The kits. I heard that human babies react well to being talked to and I just figure that if it’s good enough for humans then it’s good enough for me. And you were gone long, I got bored, needed to fill the silence,” she added half-heartedly.
“Won’t be quiet for long,” he reminded, placing the food in front of her, “Hungry much?”