What mother fuckers! This whole world is fucked, I hate this place? How do ppl live on this planet knowing they are all a bunch of mother fucking sick and retarded sheep? What the hell? My life was perfect until i started to love this bastard! I mean honestly who makes someone fall in love with them? What a prick, I love him to death i don't think he cares. All he does is sit there happy bout his accomplishment. I don't even know what I am writing or how I am spelling all of this because i am so tired of mother fucking everything that it can just go rot in hell! Like shit, and now I love him and can't help it. I love everything he does everything he says and thinks I love! It's sick and disgusting to know that I feel this towards someone that just doesn't give a fuck bout anything or anyone! The only person he cares bout is himself why? Cause he cheated on me and I did shit with some one else, oh my god! Big fucking deal, shit happens and I am sure he will prolly cheat on me again since I don't feel like fucking gagging!
Like shit, yeah I am being a bitch right now, I know it, but I am so angry at myself� and I don't even know why! Like shit, I didn't feel this way for like 2 years not and it's back, the sick fucking feeling I felt then is back and I hate it and I hate myself for it! Like shit, all ma life I have been pushing ppl away after a certain point of meeting them, Some ppl it's like after 3 years, others it's after 3 months, but when it happens, it happens and I push and push until they want nothing to do with me. And then I don't even know I am doing it until it is a little too late and I am left alone. But then in the end it's good, cause if I wasn't left all alone then I would keep pushing, and the loneliness gets to me after a while and I am forced to join the mindless drowns yet again. Fucking sheep! All of u, fallowing others and their orders like shit! Fuck that! I wish I was a sheep dog instead of a 2 legged bitch! Cause then I would run ur asses out of here and like feed u to the wolves! I hate u all and u should all rot in hell! I never say shit like that, but after 2 years of not feeling like this, it's a pretty strong feeling. And it sucks and hurts and is pulling at me from the inside like some kind of vulture trying to rip out my eye or something but not quite getting it�It's weird, I didn't feel like this until I came to this damn country so I don't know. Maybe it's the changing point that made me realize ppl are scum and they should all die! Except for babes that are beautiful with good genes. That way they can be thought by loving� creatures and can learn to love all those around them and maybe start a good life for all. Instead of having this fascist torture chamber! Like what the fuck is even real anymore? Am I really writing this? Am I typing these words out myself or is someone else doing the deed for me? Is someone feeling this exact feeling now and through me expressing them? No� I don't even know. I could be alone, I prolly am right now, alone and fucking wishing, planning, praying there was someone else out there just like me? But what's really out there? Just a bunch of lies! Why do ppl lie, I think it's a fucking, mother raping waste! Why lie? Why not just tell the truth and take it how it comes to u! Take what ever is coming for telling the truth! If u can't tell the truth then why think it? Why do what u did, and then hide it, lie about it? Why? You know u wouldn't have done it if u didn't want anyone to know, if it wasn't in u to do, but u did it anyways and lying bout it won't do shit! Just face up to it all, don't be scared, and if u are it just proves that u are a fucking sheep like the other ppl reading this� U are all sad, really really sad, like what the fuck did u think I was ganna write in here? My life is great with ma man and blah blah blah� NO! How bout Baaahhhhhhhhhh! I know u would understand that more u dumb sheep! Fuck this and that! Fuck it all, I am like tired of living this fucking way! I want to just fucking be happy, but how can I do that when nothing in ma life is worth smiling bout? I get hyped up over dumb shit like, pressing a dumb button for the elevator to take me to the correct floor b4 a friend does, why? Because honestly, that's all there is to it. U can't smile at anything else on this planet. Things that make u happy, things that make u smile are usually those around u, but they are also the ones that make u cry� so how do u stay smiling through out the good and bad and blah blah blah? U can't! So I figured out a system where I can make myself smile and be happy for jack shit! That way I don't have to rely on others for this happiness� but then again I can't achieve this unless I try� but why try when someone is ganna come and fuck it up for u like _____ did!?! I dunno bout anything at the moment, I just want to run away, far far fucking away where no one knows me, start again, as an outcast or one of the pop ppl, and see what life suits me better� If only shit was that simple, u don't like how life is going here? Move there and start all over again. LoL if only it were like that, I would not be writing here, I would be fucking having a good time with a friend or a fucking boyfriend or what ever! Maybe when I move one of the times I can get a kitty like I always wanted. Damn cats are so cute! I love 'em. I have been scratched many times and feel that the cat that did that to me should be kicked in the face� but then I member that it's only a poor little animal that don't know shit� kind of like u! And it sucks don't it? It sucks that u can't do anything bout ur sad life, cause u are too mother fucking scared to stand up for what u believe in, or who u trust it�But what ever, I ain't no smart ass! I am just telling it like it is, and a little more fucked, since I feel the fucking feeling I haven't felt in years! Why? Cause I had a good time with ma bf and figured I should fuck things up by thinking it was all good. By thinking he loves me, by thinking that things are ganna look up� but they never fucking do unless the guy loves u! Unless he truly truly loves u. Like the fucking case with ma sista! Wow is she lucky. I love love, and I love being in love, but never truly experienced the feeling until now and I don't want it to go away but then again, if I do feel it, and it is what I have been waiting for all ma life, then why am I not content with it? What else to I need or want? Oh yeah! My partner to love me back! Like duh! It takes too, for a fight, marriage, sex, kids, divorce, love, hate, it always takes too� unless u are a lunatic� But what ever it's all ur choice, I am just here to say FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING ASS WHIPING, FUDGE PACKING SON'S OF ASS LICKING TIT FUCKING BITCHES! U ALL SUCK AND THAT'S MOTHER FUCKING SAD CAUSE I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO LIVE IN A TIME WHERE SO MANY SWEAR WORDS WERE AROUND LITTLE CHILDREN LIKE MA LIL BRO!
So yeah, I'ma bitch right now, big fucking deal! U wanna know something? I don't care! Tell someone that does, cause I don't thus shut that big fucking mouth or yours and make it usefull! Fucking sick! U ppl are fucking sick! Bye a cure, make one, find one, I don't care how it is that u do it, but do it, get me a cure� but until then, I am so fucking staying alone�
FUCKERS!