DAYS OF MY LIFE!

Hello again! i know its been a long time since i last wrote an entry. I guess i forgot or i was busy. I've been spending my days in a very boreing, but productive way-doing my own housework, not a glamorous job, but totally necessary:) I was offered a tutoring job in the evenings but i turned it down due to not having a maid ( us spoilt, pampered women in ksa!). I had a short little trip to bahrain, its a nice little country--has a few things we don;t have here such as movie theatres, women driving, women working whereever they want, people dressing as they please. I think i could handle living in bahrain, a nice mix of Islam with the rest of the world, everyone showing respect for the others cultures. Even in the u.s. u can;t dress as u want, men can;t wear thobes without being stared at, women cannot wear abaya or hijab without being stared at and possibly harrassed, thats why i'm impressed with tiny bahrain and what they've accomplished there. All for now:)

Wow, two days in a row i made it here! It's strange how much my on line friends mean to me---i don;t know why i said its strange, i guess people think of "online" friends as superficial, but i see from experience that online is just a way to communicate and friends we meet on line are every bit as important if not more so as or than friends we see in real life. Sometimes, or many times we're lucky and we get to bring our online friends into real life with phone calls or personal visits. I've not been lucky in that department to sit and have tea with my on line friends. This is partially because i can;t drive as a woman, also because it's thought of as bad to sit and have tea or a conversation with a man we're not related to. Even in the western world its seen as not a good thing for a man to meet a woman in person if one or both are married. I did have a good day though today---i guess i base my days quality partially on my friends and if i saw the important ones that day, i did see one of my most important friends today and we had a great conversation and lots of laughs. I missed one important person today though, he was very busy i guess, he's one person that i really miss if i don;t talk to him for even one day.

I've been wondering about something lately. If two married people meet each other on line (for example), and they're both married but they form a close bond in an innocent way, never intending to be more than friends, but for some strange reason their personalities click--what should they do? should they try to control their feelings if they develop into more than is acceptable? should they break up their families so they can be together? can the relationship survive without physical contact? will there be mistrust on each end as to what the other is doing? this topic is relevant in todays world since most people are using the net, the net is an outlet for lonley people especially to meet someone to sympathize with them. We can meet soo many people online and theres a great chance that we'll meet that special person we've always been dreaming of, but when we finally meet that person, sometimes our situations aren;t right to accomodate our feelings. This kind of relationship can cause stress and hurt feelings and distraction from daily life if one or both of those people have such a deep attachment to each other and the relationship cannot complete itself in the form of something more real and permanent. I'm also wondering if two people can really love  each other forever (literally forever) and love noone else. Is this only happening in romance novels that someone can love only one person forever? Can love also transcend all boundaries such as age, physical appearance, other things? I think that if love is "unconventional" according to most societal norms, then maybe it'll survive. That kind of love can be the most potent and everlasting type of love:) bye for  now

Once again, here I am! its monday already, thats shocking, the week's moving too fast for me. Before u know it i'll be 90 yrs. old( if i make it that far). An uneventful day today, i didn;t leave the house, maybe tomorrow. I hear the fighter planes flying over head, must be practising. ***My good friend has a nice shopping site, i was pleased to see how nice it looks, the colors he's using are really complimentary and bright and cheerful--i wish him well, lots of sucess in this venture that he's spent soo much time and effort creating, not to mention money!

My kids are happy and doing well--thank God. The weather is still pleasant, not hot or cold, we don;t need air conditioners or heaters now, we have this nice time of year every year. We really didn;t have a cold winter, but it was very rainey which is a blessing because some years we have no rain at all. I have to go for a long walk now, and i don;t have any wild thoughts right now---later:)

It's saturday today. Sad news-my dear friends fiance's father has died at the age of 54. Her father was a wonderful man, the thing i think is special about her parents situation is that her mother had been divorced with several kids and he chose her, he had never been married before, also, she was many years older than he. I always admire any man who can break that
"norm" of wanting to marry a women who's younger than he and has never been married-she must be a very special woman to have won his heart! Together they had a wonderful daughter, and this daughter is my friends fiance. Her father's death was a bit sudden and therefore made it harder to handle probably. She knows that he's in a better place now, but i'm sure that won;t help her to stop missing him since he was soo dear to her, i wish she and her mother all the best in the healing process. Its scarey to know that at any time our love one can die and we can't stop it, it teaches us an important lesson that we need to let those close to us know how much we love them so if they or ourselves die suddenly--they know how much we loved them.

It's sunday today, the war's in full gear. There have been many "accidents" among the "allied forces" helicopter crashes, friendly fire, and an american sergeant throwing grenades into his comrads tents. One wonders if this is a sign that their mission is evil. I believe its very evil to attack innocent people and there seems to be no reason for the u.s. and u.k to have entered iraq and started this brutal war. We hear today that 70 iraqi civilians have been killed as a result of bombing from u.s.. 

Yesterday was my son;s birthday, we took him out to eat, had his cake, then he got his gifts, he was looking forward to that special day for a long time! his special day was over too fast;). I hope it was a day for  him to remember,his 6th birthday! even though he acts like a man, he appears to be soo small still! i love my sweet, sensitive and smart son very very much.

A friend gave me advise on how to handle the frustration of this war and the situation in  palestine, she suggested thru reading certain hadiths that we might learn patience during this hard time and realize that Allah is testing us, our strength and patience and trust in Him.

Later:)

The war's been on for days now, the u.s. is feeling the iraqi heat that saddam promised and dumsfield denied. I feel that dumsfield and george "duh" bush misled the american people by indicating that the iraqi's had not much military force. I also wonder how those american families of the dead men and women feel at the shock of hearing soo many american men are dying daily. I'm wondering about the brainwashed ideas we were given by the media and govt. that the american military were such a "well oiled machine" and they've made soo many clumsy mistakes. The british claim that during the gulf war more brits were killed by american military mistakes than iraqi military fire. The canadians have also many of their military lost due to american errors during a military operation. One mistake is too much if its your relative or friend who is the victim of the mistake. I really feel that this is an "invasion" and not a war, its the biggest mistake a president has made in history, maybe i don;t know my history well enuff, but it is a huge mistake---i'll leave it at that for now. I'm ashamed at my lack of knowledge on u.s. history, i must have been sleeping during those classes, or talking to the boy next to me;). Maybe i ought to start watching the history channel-a quick and painless way to get my injection of knowledge on the past.

This brutal invasion is dividing Arabs and some americans, i'm sure. Noone can deny that saddam belongs in a trash can, but that was no reason to terrify , kill and mame innocent people. There's  no justification for this invasion. The u.s. should have gone in, found saddam and done away with him, maybe put him in the zoo with the gorillas or polar bears! they claim that they know of his whereabouts now, so they should have known about it at all times.

It strikes me as strange when i'm watching the news lately how this war is "civilized on tv with the leaders on both sides talking about "geneva convention rules"---when they're bombing the heck out of iraq---what a time to talk about rules when they broke the biggest rule of all-or maybe the u.s. invented a new rule that would allow them to invade a country with no provacation at all. ---later:)   

Today is Saturday, once again, the beginning of the week for us. I went to a party for my friends mother on wed., it was great, talking with friends who are all really wonderful women. Today i started my day by visiting the doctor, went smoothly and i didn;t have to wait as long as last time. The war is still going on, its interesting how different news stations use terminology to describe the war. We can hear the words "conflict", "invasion", "war on , against, in Iraq.", whatever u call it, its still a sad event thats of no use to mankind. The first suicide bomber killed 5 people today in a car bomb. After i heard a sheikh telling all Muslims of the world to be suicide bombers, i figured sooner or later it'll happen, and it did today,now the u.s. troops will have to be careful and leary of any iraqi civilians. I don;t think the western world understands that a muslim will be happy to die for his country and go to Jannah. The iraqi military are not paid in money as the u.s. military are. One is defending his country, the other is doing a job.  I hear that a missile fell in Saudi Arabia today, hope it doesn;t fall in my neighborhood;).   All for now,,,,,

It's me again! took a few days off, i was negligent in writing here! but, i'm back on track now. I had a few heavy days of fighting with the "significant other", i can;t tolerate his rude attitude, treating me more like a donkey than a human, he's puzzled as to why i'm not accepting his mean behavior, thats causing alot of problems between us. I should never have took that crap from him to start with, i have a stronger personality now and also, he's beaten me down soo much that i'm immune to any hurt he could try to cause me, now, i just don;t give a damn:).  This invasion is still on, i'll leave you with my theory on this "freedom iraq".:::: Would any normal mother choose to live with her kids--alive  under a dictator's rule, or live without them in "freedom"? My choice as a mother would be to live with my kids alive under the dictators rule, its ironic that the u.s. calls this invasion and killing of innocent people "freedom Iraq"----they didn;t ask the iraqi people if they want to be free from saddam at the expense of their families lives. I think george bush is the real dictator here.

Back again! hmmm, there's quite a gap between the last day i wrote here and now, well, i hardly think anyone will notice except for me! This month has been going too fast. Hard to believe that the kids will be out of school shortly, they only have 1 full month left, and a few weeks, they're testing now, testing time is always a difficult couple of weeks. Hubby's going away in a couple of days, thats a relief, noone to order me to go to sleep at 8 as though i'm a child, i'll enjoy those few days of freedom, and peace. Today we had a fight  because i'm disgusted he let the company driver go away for two months, i won;t rely on hubby to take me out, the last time he took me shopping he yelled and nagged at me for me causing him inconvenience to him. We had our little fundraiser for Iraq---of course our little collection won;t help alot, but it'll mean something to a few people anyway. My daughter has a  few nice ideas for the teen girls in Iraq, she wants to tye dye t shirts and give them to them, also, she's collecting homemade cards her classmates made for individual iraqi girls wishing them well. She has a big heart. At the fundraiser i met a nice iraqi woman, and a nice palestinian woman, most of the women who attended it were american, and other arab nationalities, only 2 saudi women came. My brother in law went to a job interview today in khobar, i hope he gets it, then they can move back here:), all for now,,,,

Hello, long time since i took a few minutes to do this. I have sad news, my good friends son, her only child died a tragic death from a gunshot wound, it was a huge shock for me and i'm sure many others close to her.There isn;t alot one can say to someone who's had a huge loss like that, losing a child is like no other loss imaginable, its one that is difficult to bounce back from. My friend is in my prayers every single day, and i wish her the best in her road to healing of the heart.

My life hasn;t changed much, soon my son will be on summer vacation. I don;t know if we'll be going anyplace this summer, maybe, i'm pushing for morocco, or tunis, or lebanon, but, i don;t know, we'll see, i want to stay close to arab countries, maybe turkey would be nice, of course its not an arab country, but close by.

My dear friend is wondering if his relationship is going to work out, it looked good, but seems to be souring a bit, love isn;t a sure deal, thats for sure! Love is also difficult, why can;t it be easy and we can be with the ones we really love. On that note, i'll say bye for now, and hope i don;t take soo long to write here again:)