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(takes deep breath) Okay, breath. You have to breath. Ohmygawd, there he is. It's time to tell him. Wow, he's looking really hot tonight. Nice hair. Nice ass. Stop it! You're not here to just look at his butt. You're here to tell him the truth. (yells out) Travis! Can I talk to you for a sec? Okay, here it goes. Travis. . .I love you. Ever since I first saw you, I've loved you. I know you don't give a rat's ass how I feel, but can't you give me at least one chance? Please? Please Travis? (stops to hear him talk) Oh don't even say that Don't you dare walk away! Don't reject me again! I am sick and tired of bastards like you who only care about themselves and giggly girls who hang all over them. Do you want me to be giggly like those girls? (imitates the girls) Oh Travis, you're so cute! (giggle) You're so funny! (giggle) Oh Tavis...oh Travis...oh barf! You've got to be kidding Do you really want me to act like that? No? Then maybe you'd like me to be seductive and mysterious? (talks in French accent) Allo. My name is Monique, and you are so very, very sexy! I want to kiss you all over! Ooooh! (returns to normal) Is that what you want? Huh? HUH? What about (in southern accent) a sweet southern belle? Does Scarlet O'Hera turn you on? (in hick accent) Or how about a hick?? Yee-haw! Ride-em cowboy! (in Brittish accent) Or how about a Brit? Ello there! How are you? How aout a spot of tea to get this evening going? (starts yelling in normal voice) Do you like foreigners of any kind? Huh? HUH? (in a mother - to - child voice) Oh...poor baby. Am I ascaring you? (voicerises) Am I too loud and outspoken for you? Do I come on too strong? Am I too spontaneous? (breaks into song) La, La, La, La,La! Zip-a-de-do-da! Thank you, very much! (still has big ego) No need to applause. I know I'm wonderful! (bows) (returns to normal) Come on Give me a chance! You know you want me! (listens to boy sigh) No! Please don't sigh! Sighs are always followed by I'm sorry and I'm sorrys are followed by it won't work out and it won't work outs are followed by but we can still be friends. I don't want to be "just frinds." I want to go out with you, damnit! Please! Please! Just one date! One date! (stop) No, I won't give up! (stop) No, I won't shut up! (stop) No, I won't go out with you on Friday! Wait...Friday? You're asking me out? (stop) Yeah I'll go out with you on Friday. (stop) Yeah, sure, a movie or something. (stop) Okay, bye. Yeah, see you tomorrow, Travis. (sighs) (sits) Well, that wasn't to hard. (lumps down and falls asleep.) |
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