TOW CHANLDER’S GUILT
The detectives said all the trails had been dead end. They weren’t going to find him. The couple had been unlucky, most cases like this the child would turn up even if it was a dead body. And no matter how tragic it was if the child was dead then the parents were allowed a chance to grieve. Monica entered the apartment and Chandler was behind her.
Monica looked at the couch where the toys Sean had been instructed to clean up 4 months ago had long since been forgotten. Chandler and Monica had touched nothing in the apartment unless it was absolutely necessary. If they didn’t do anything then the constant reminder that Sean wasn’t there was not so prominent. Today she had finally conceded that it would be time to clean up and move on.
Their story had made headlines. Considering they had spared no expense and just about every top detective from all 50 states had been hired to help in the search for Sean. ‘Young boy stolen from his Father’s side in New York’, ‘Child abducted in Central Park’ were the top stories on newspapers everywhere! And they were alos a constant reminder to Chandler and Monica that their son was gone, for good.
Joey entered the apartment as soon as he realized the Bings were home, “How did it go?” he hated to break the silence, but he had to know.
“They gave up,” Chandler said simply the tears stinging his eyes.
“Oh, Chandler,” Joey hugged his friend, “I-I’m so sorry!”
Sean had been gone for 4 months and each and every day Joey said a little prayer. Sean was his godson and they had shared a special bond. Everyone was touched by the loss and his or her hopes were thin, and Joey only hoped that they could find finality in this whole mess. It was almost relieving to find out that the boy was gone for good. As of today Chandler and Monica could begin rebuilding their lives and become the two they once were.
~***~
The search for Sean was officially over and all his pictures in the apartment had been packed away in a box in Monica’s closet at the end of the hall. Chandler and Monica hadn’t exchanged any words in the last 2 days. And in the 2 weeks since the search had ended they talked only when it was absolutely necessary.
Chandler sat on the couch whenever he was not at work or eating. Monica spent most of her time cleaning the apartment and tomorrow she had decided she would empty Sean’s room out.
She hated to blame Chandler for what had happened to her son, but what else could she do? All she wanted was for Sean to make a mess in the living room again or to splash water all over the bathroom while she attempted to bathe him. It was something she never thought she’d miss; she hated anyone who made a mess!
Monica looked at Chandler’s blank face and she inhaled a deep breath when she remembered how much Sean looked like his father, “Good night Chandler.”
“Good night, Monica,” He replied softly.
~***~
“C’mon son!” Chandler called to Sean, “Let’s fly a kite.”
The little fingers reached for the string and Chandler demonstrated how the proper way to hold it. As they felt a gust of wind coming on father and son began to run and soon the kite was flying high above.
“Look Daddy!” Sean exclaimed, “Its flying! I’m flying a kite!”
“Come on Mon, turn off the video, you need to fly too!” Chandler motioned towards the camera.
The TV went blank. That video had been made the weekend before the disappearance. Sean loved the park and Monica and Chandler took him there whenever their busy schedules allowed.
“I only looked away for a second,” Chandler whispered to himself, “I was just getting the money out of my wallet and then he wasn’t there.”
At first it was just a few tears running down his cheek, but for the first time since the disappearance Chandler Bing cried. His shoulders heaved in heavy sobs and he wailed loudly, like a child. Monica was stirred from her sleep as she heard Chandler’s cries. Part of her wanted to comfort him, it was hard to lose a child especially when you were as emotionally closed off as Chandler was.
Chandler finally ran out of the energy to cry anymore and his body relaxed into a sleep. His sleep only lasted a few hours, because Monica woke him up to get dressed for work.
Monica looked at him hardly as he reentered the room and handed him toast. Chandler sighed he knew what Monica was thinking. She blamed him. The looks she shot him every day were enough to make him want to die. The one thing that was left in his life was ready to leave. Monica, the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with knew he had lost their child.
~***~
“Hey Chandler!” Joey caught Chandler as he was entering the hallway on his way home.
“Hey Joe,” Chandler said softly trying to smile.
“Okay, so I got some tickets to the Knicks, you’re there right?” Joey asked, “Tonight?”
“Ross going?” Chandler wondered.
“Duh!” Joey chuckled, “We should be leaving pretty soon.”
“I don’t think I’m going to take you up on that Joe, I’ve got some things to do,” Chandler told his friend.
“Like what? Watch porn? I’m there!” Joey asked.
“No, I think I’m just going to sit around and think, maybe talk to Monica,” Chandler answered.
“Like that’s going to happen,” Joey said sarcastically.
“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Chandler asked defensively.
“When was the last time you talked to her?” Chandler thought for a moment, “This morning.”
“What did you say? Morning Mon,” Joey asked.
Chandler nodded slowly. Leave It to Joey to point out that his marriage was failing. Like he didn’t already have reminders of it everyday. Chandler watched Joey for a moment and he sighed, “I’ve gotta go Joe.”
Chandler entered the apartment and he found Monica standing in front of the door to Sean’s room. It was obvious she’d been there a while and she hadn’t found the courage to enter the forbidden territory.
Monica turned to face Chandler and spoke softly, “Hi.”
“Hi Monica,” Chandler stood for a moment and then entered the bedroom he shared with Monica.
Chandler opened the door to the closet and pulled out his 3 suitcases. Finally he found the courage to empty his clothes from the closet and dresser and put them in the suitcases. He grabbed his briefcase and the suitcases and stumbled from the room. Monica heard him banging around as she sat in Sean’s room holding close to her chest the teddy bear that the boy cherished so much. She ignored Chandler’s noise as she felt the first tears of sadness burn her eyes.
His suitcases and briefcase contained all of Chandler Bing’s belongings, his only things left in the apartment were his small collection of CD’s he’d merged with Monica’s. He placed the key to the apartment on the counter.
A soft sigh escaped his lips and he said, “Good bye Monica. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey Chandler!” Joey came up the stairs, “Whoa! What’s all this?”
“I can’t stay there,” Chandler told Joey as he fought back tears, “I lost our son, and Monica blames me.”
“She does?” Joey asked confused, “Come on dude, you can stay with me.”
~**~