Who is this feller, Jim?
Well, pull up a stump and let me tell ya a lil sumpin bout him!
Jim is a simpal feller that was born ina lil hick town north of Abilene, Texas kawled Knox City, Texas. It barly even shows up ona map. He was growed up out in them oil patches near Odessa, Texas out in West Texas. He was the middle pup out of a litter of three younguns born to some really fine folks. He growed up nowin bout all them kinds of livestock that they raised out on the FC brand spread. I heered they had chikins, hawgs, gotes, kattle, horses, and even some of them stinkin sheep! Like a slobber faced calf takes to his Momma, Jim took to luvin horses, showin horses, ridin horses, ropin, rodeoin, and he was even the clown in sum of them rodeos. He went to one of them skools that had sumpin called FFA, whar he tended it fer three yeers. Aftur gettin out of that hi skool, he went off to be wun of them dokter fellers in a bigger skool. Aftur a short spell thar, Ole Uncle Sam called and took him away for a hitch in the U S of A Army. He said he seen nuff hurtin an pane thar and changed his mind on whut he wanted to be when he growed up. Now he studied them books to be an ingneer, but a funny thang was that it weren't for drivin no dang train! He gave that up and decided to larn some of them legal feller words. He got sum of that down, but he still weren't happy, so he was gonna be a teacher man! Well, a purty lil missy came inta his life and changed a lot of his smart thinkin! He needed to make sum money without robbin a bank or stealin kattle, so he went to the oil patch drivin a big ole truk. He dun that fer a while until a feller frum the big city called him and wanted him to do sum of that tellerfone work. Funny thang? He dun that fer 32 years and then decided that it were time to turn that pony out to pasture! He got tared of jest sittin round his spread that he calls, "A Lil Piece of Heaven", and now travels evri whar in this U S of A with his own business. He said he even got up whar them folks talked in sum forin soundin words. Yep, I recall, he called it Canader!
Ole Jim had a bad case of internal herts get him wun day. That purty lil missy he married, ran off with sum smooth talkin shister feller. He has gottun over her, but he is lookin fer another purty lil woman to fill that empte saddle hangin in tha barn and to rock on tha front porch right fore sundown time. He got him three sons out of that furst deel, but they are all growed up and out in their part of tha wurld. Wun of them boys went of and had a lil cowpoke and a high flutin lil missy for his family. Now Ole Jim is kawled Grandpa by them lil wuns. Seems that aftur awl Ole Jim has been thru, he is still a purty good ole feller, even ifin I have to say so. He would give ya the last swaller outta his canteen ifin ya was ridin tha pastures with him. He would even give give ya his mornin cup of coffee....cuz he don't like it. Now, Jim ain't gonna lie to ya, cuz he buleeves that a man's word is the most honerable thing a man owns in this wurld next to his last name. He respects womenfolk cuz his Momma tole him she would whoop his rear no matter how old he were! His Paw tot him that ya get what urn out in this here wurld. Ifin ya got wun of them singal purty lady friends sittin round, Ole Grandpa Jim is lookin to find him a new missy. He wants to take her with him to them fur away places like Saint Louie, San Fransissyco, Shekago, Hawayer, and Alasker. Heck, I even heard him say he wanted to go way down thar to Awstralure whar them kangaroos and awl them other funny lookin built animals ar! Shoot, thar ain't much bad that ya can say bout Ole Jim, cuz he has dun seen his days in tha bars drankin and dancin. Now, he has been gone and seen sittin inna church pew and listinin to that thar preacher man. Now that don't go and mean that he ain't gonna git out and go boot scootin or buckle polishin with ya. Ole Jim does a mean two steppin! Sumpin else. Near most of tha time, he purt near always got a funny stori to tell ya ifin ya kech him at tha rite time. He likes ta see all you folks a grinnin and a laffin! So ifin ya see Ole Jim, give him a smile and see ifin that don't make him happier than a rooster with two duzen hens to his self!
Sined,
His pardner........
X
01/2008