Credits

Site © Naeodin
Layout © Digik Designs

The Story of Nadenka

“Nadenka.” At the foreign words she stirred form her sleep. “I will call you Nadenka. It means… hope.”

She didn’t know the voice, didn’t recognize that slight drawl that seemed to drag down at the edges. She didn’t know him at all, and maybe it was because of this, because he was a stranger and she saw tired of dealing with strangers, that she merely grunted in response and turned her back on him.

Maybe, maybe if she went to sleep, he’d leave her alone.

“Nadenka.” The voice persisted, soft and insistent, and a noise vibrated from her. A noise of complaint. “I will not be ignored.” He said, his tone hardening.

She knew that tone, the one that demanded obedience at all costs. The veil, what was caught underneath her skin scratched and she knew she would be left with marks, a grid across her face in soft patterns. She knew that, and knew that any sign of imperfection was always punished but she was so tired…

“Nadenka.” Again, softly. “I will not say it for a third time.” He paused, or hesitated. She didn’t know him enough to guess. “Shy would not be happy.”

Ah, she knew that name. She knew the name and the memories that had her flush, that had her turn and with demure eyes glance up at a tall fair haired stranger. For a moment, she didn’t see the dark green eyes but lighter ones, ones that seemed like a feline’s caught in some distant gaze, and instead of golden hair she saw raven. For a moment, she saw the sharp narrow gaze of a man who had demanded perfection and …

“Good. Better.” He said, and the illusion broke. This was not the purr she was used to, and something inside her wilted. She had been dreaming again. She was so tired of dreaming… “Nadenka, my name is Iserlis.” He said simply, and leaning forewords caught her chin between his fingers, capturing her face in his hands with enough force that something inside her quivered with recognition. “I’m your new owner now.”

***

She strained against the bonds, knowing that all that it would reward her with would be more pain, and marks on her wrists, bruises of the criss crossed kind that would only remind her for two weeks just what she had done. She didn’t care any more, though. She didn’t care about anything except for feeling… no, except for knowing that she belonged to this man.

Master.

“Now, Nadenka.” He said, his voice slightly condescending. “I told you not to move.”

A slight whimper escaped her voice, and her skin, feverish seemed to dance.

How long had it been since she had been tied up?

In the beginning, there had been so much fear… but now she laughed at the fear. There was no need for such a petty emotion, no room for it when other, stronger ones seemed to burn across her skin. There was no need for anything else except for desire. Resisting, her golden skin flushed with something close to blood, but something somehow more diluted she panted, out of breath for more than one reason.

“Nadenka.” Chiding, something whispered across her skin, a soft slide that had her shivering. It wasn’t cold in the room, it wasn’t hot either and she watched, her eyes dancing with fever as he unbuttoned his shirt. He wasn’t perspiring, in fact he looked so perfect, disarrayed only by a touch and again, unable to help herself she reached for him.

How long had she been in this room? Stretched apart and touched in ways that she wasn’t supposed to be touched, brought to a brink only to be left hanging, and then punished, punished for her desires by a silky ribbon?

She didn’t make a noise, though, except for the occasional whimper and the moan as she tossed back her head, trying to clear the cloudy mind and bring sense. Surely, surely if she thought properly, something would work out. Something would… figure itself out.

She couldn’t take it any more, not really and something of that must have shown because suddenly, he stopped.

And he sighed and he said quietly. “Perfect. You’re ready now, Nadenka.”

Hope. Hope was such a silly little name, but she didn’t care how silly it was, as long as he didn’t stop saying it with that slight tilt to the end of it. Nadenka… that was her name now, and she didn’t care about anything else.

She watched his shadow fall over her, and wondered if it was all over. If maybe now, she’ll be allowed to do what she wanted except…

With a cool kiss across her brow, he merely said.

“You’re ready for him now.”

***

From another room, the small fine boned man with white hair and violet eyes rimmed with lack of sleep played with an amulet between his fingers, letting it fall to the floor and yet catching it by it’s thick chain before it shattered. There was something methodical, not quite sentimental in the way he treated his toy, and something not quite sane about the way his eyes flicked towards the one way window.

Suddenly, he paused.

“There, did you see it?” sitting upright on his large chair and peering forewords, he pointed to the woman on the other side. “Did you see it?”

Iserlis, who had entered the room only moments before nodded. “Casper.” He said gently, his voice so different from the man Nadenka had known. “I told you it was her.”

The man, or surely a boy trapped in a man’s body turned, excited. Then he didn’t know what he wanted to see more, the woman writhing against the chains or the golden man. “It’s her.” He said, reverently.

Coming close to stand behind the other man, he reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Casper.” He began.

Casper’s eyes were shining as he leaned forewords, brushing away the other man’s hand like an errant fly, and then, seemingly satisfied leaned back with a heavy sighs of relief. “Brother.” He said, ecstatic. “She’s back. She’s come back to me.”

He didn’t see the look in his brother’s eyes, the look of weary resignation or pain. All he felt was the reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, and the steady words.

“I hope your right.”

***

“Anna maria anna maria.” The words, a constant drone. She felt herself weighed down heavy, her body sagging towards the ground and yet held half suspended in air due to the shackles around her arms. She didn’t hurt any more though, and except for a slow, dull throbbing of pain she was… well, able to doze off.

Except for that voice.

Something moved in the corner of her vision, but she was too exhausted to look up. Something white flashed by, and with a dance of keys she found herself being lowered onto the ground, slowly until her knees slumped forewords and her hands touched coarse stone.

“Anna maria, sweet anna maria.” The voice crooned on, so different from the one that belonged to him… “You came back, and I promise never to let you suffer like this again.” A shadow crept closer, but her eyes were struggling to stay away.

“Casper.” She recognized this voice, the one that had tormented her for so long… places low in her body tightened, wondering if he was coming back for her, to finish what he started except… “Come on, we have to go now.”

“A little bit longer?” the petulant voice asked. Silence met the question, and then.

“Later, Casper. When she’s awake. I promise you can see her first.”

See her first. The words had her shiver in reaction, and seeing this the child like voice started to croon.

“Are you cold baby? Are you cold?” movement, and then something settled around her body, something warm and heavy and from her heavy lids she could see that it was white. “Shh… sh…” the voice continued, and then. “Sleep well, anna maria.”

And she was alone again, left with the weight of her own body and frustration.

***

“Shh… she’s waking up.”

Turning her face and feeling instead of hard granite soft silk, her eyes fluttered open and for a moment, she was confused with what she was seeing. Silk and bodies? Groaning, and shifting to see that indeed she was free, and that she was lying in a bed, she turned to one side.

“You’re awake.”

To look into the eyes of a tall, voluptuous stranger. For a moment, she was scared, scared of the stranger and for the odd look of welcome. And then she relaxed.

Because her wrists still hurt, and she knew that she must be safe…somehow. Stirring, the voices around her hushed, and with soft, hesitant hands they reached out to touch her.

Women. Lots of women with soft faces and beautiful eyes watching her.

“Are you awake, now?” the voice, the one of the woman with the deep violet eyes said quietly. She nodded her head, not trusting her voice to come out sane, and controlled.

“Good.” Her eyes flew to a small, pixie like young girl dressed in crimson. “We thought you would never wake up, and he’s called for you, already.” The question in her eyes must have been obvious, because another spoke up. Plump, with pale blue eyes and crimson hair.

“The Master.” She said quietly, solemnly as if she held herself apart from the rest of the women. “The Master has called for you.”

At her confused eyes, someone reached out and touched her and she realized it was the first woman. “You are one of us, now.” She said this, as if she had said the words a hundred times. And maybe she had. Every woman in her vision was beautiful in their own right, softly perfumed and stunning with something almost mystical about them.

The first girl nodded, anxious to make friends. “You are.” She said, repeating the words although they needed no repetition. “You’re part of his harem.”

Was she supposed to feel so relieved, knowing that she would see him again?

***

Dressed, oiled and perfumed in gold she felt anxious and out of place. Although she knew that she was wearing material just as fine as the other women, jewels just as valuable, she felt less desirable, less beautiful and… well, just lacking in every respect. The first woman, who had introduced herself as Inga led her forewords down a hallway filled with scented candles.

“You have to continue alone now, Nadenka.”

She wondered then, briefly if this was some sort of test. Except she didn’t really care any more. Her heart began to beat quickly as she made her way down the corridor, and for a moment she turned, watching the form of the matron of beauty standing there, watching after her. Relaxing slightly, she squared her shoulders and walked towards the door, feeling the heavy jewel resting between her brows itch.

But she mustn’t touch it. She couldn’t ruin the time the others had spent preparing her.

For this.

At the front of the door, she hesitated. Was she supposed to wait? Was someone going to come for her or was she supposed to knock? Her questions were answered when, as she slowed by the two doors of knotted wood, someone slipped out, and bowed.

“Nadenka.” They knew her new name, somehow. And she looked up, slightly surprised. The man was tall, strong and with a head shaved of any hair, covered in tattoos. “You mustn’t look up at me.” The black eyes locked onto hers, passively friendly and he chided her with the tone of an uncle.

Her eyes widened with surprise, and she looked down automatically. This seemed to please the other man because he sighed.

“My name is Baal.” He said. “You will meet me later… but for now, I am here to escort you to your Master.” He pushed one of the doors open. “You are to walk in, head bowed and to look at the ground. Others are made to crawl… but you are special, I think.” His tone was wryly amused, but wary as well, as if he had seen this too many times to be surprised. “Don’t talk unless you are spoken to, and never call him by his name. Only his brother and I can call Casper by anything other than Master.”

Her brow wrinkled in a frown. Casper? Surely…

Hitakan saw this. “Casper is your master now.” He said gently. “Perhaps you were introduced into this by another man, or a woman… but it is Casper you have to listen to.”

And her heart crashed, realizing she may never see her true master again.

***

She entered the room looking down, studying the golden floor and the reflection of the rest of the room. If the floor could be believed, the room was the grandest she had ever almost seen, full of silk and gold and statues that seemed to be made entirely of gems.

There was music as well, somewhere. She could hear the faint memory of it, too light to interrupt the present noise but too loud for her to block out completely.

“Anna Maria.” The voice said. It was the one that had spoken to her in her dream, and she almost looked up, catching herself barely in time. She was not usually this obedient- at least, she did not think so. But she was not usually dressed in finery and expected to serve a master.

This was all too new to her, for her to behave normally.

“Anna Maria.” The voice said urgently, and she saw pale, silver hands reaching for her. Small, and slender and yet as the hands held her wrists, so strong. “Anna Maria.” The voice said again.

Someone in the corner of the room coughed, and this seemed to bring this man to his senses.

“I am sorry.” He said, leaning towards her so their foreheads touched, and she could see long white gold hair falling like a veil around her. “I forgot… you are Nadenka.”

She shivered with pleasure at the name, because it was the other man who had given it to her… Iserlis. The one in front of her seemed to mistake her shiver for someone else because his grip on her wrists tightened.

“I knew you would remember me.” He said earnestly, quietly. “I knew I only had to wait for you to come back to me… it’s Casper, Anna Maria… Nadenka…” he pulled her towards him, lifting her chin with one hand so suddenly that she couldn’t look away.

He was beautiful.

And surely, just a little boy.

She was caught looking into the soft white face and the burning odd colored eyes that seemed to be a shade of blue that had not been invented yet. His forehead was marred with a frown and his lips open slightly, just slightly for her to see a flash of pink tongue.

She was drunk, her senses focusing only on the face in front of her and slowly, slowly that look of confusion and anxiety transformed into something else. Into something more pleasant.

“Soon.” He breathed, bringing her back to her senses as his words brushed across her face. “Tonight.”

She didn’t quite comprehend, but it didn’t seem to matter because he smiled, and it was such a sweet smile…

A cough, again, and the look grew mildly irritated at being so crudely interrupted. His smile was wry this time, not detracting from his beauty and he nodded his head to the shadow by the corner. “I will see you tonight, Nadenka.” He promised, and his look was boyish. “I was supposed to wait, to meet you later but I couldn’t help myself.”

She was already looking at the ground now, following actions as if she had been doing them all her life. Slowly, almost regretfully he seemed to let her go, and as he moved away, towards another door she saw the shadow slip out of it’s corner and follow.

She knew that hair.

She knew him.

Her eyes widened in recognition as she realized it was Iserlis, and her lips parted as she tried to say something, anything…

“Nadenka, come.” It was Baal’s voice coming sharply behind her, too sharply and she turned instinctively.

The question in her eyes had him sigh.

“He is out of bounds for you, girl.” He said simply.

***
The walk down a different corridor was done in silence. Nadenka didn’t know what to say to Baal, and he didn’t seem to want to say anything to her.

“Your rooms.” He said finally, breaking the silence. “Are with the other concubines. Should you need anything, there are eunuchs at constant shifts. There is no need for you to leave the grounds, for the gardens surround the concubine quarters and bathing facilities are located in the center. You have your own room, but think of it as… a common dorm.” He smiled, slightly. “There is equality here, or as much as there needs to be. You will see no other man except for Casper and the eunuchs, and the only times you will leave is to make your way to his quarters, or during official ceremonies and gatherings.”

Nadenka frowned, in confusing. It was too constricting, too much like prison life, even with all the finery. She opened her mouth, to protest but he was already talking. There was something methodical about the way he spoke, as if he had said this to too many women, too many times.

“There are a hundred and fifty concubines within the quarters. But it is rare that you will meet more then fifty at a time. The rooms are big” as they spoke, they moved out of the central building into a garden, a pathway of sorts surrounded by delicate trees and the soft scent of perfume. “and soon you will have a eunuch wholly dedicated to you.” At these words, he paused and turned around, causing her to stumble.

“I don’t know.” She said quietly, hesitantly. “If I can do this.”

He reached out to catch her, his hands cold and firm. They were distant, as much as hands could be and he nodded. “It’s new.” He said. “It’s always new. Your not the first one…”

She looked up. There was something kind, or at least open about him. “Who… was Anna Maria?” she asked. She needed to know, and she didn’t know if she would get another opportunity.

His eyes widened with surprise, and then he smiled slightly. “Come.” He said. “We will talk here, in private before I take you to your quarters.”

She looked around. This was hardly private…

As if guessing her words, he took her to a small close off oclave with a marble bench. “This is no fairy tale, Nadenka.” He said soberly. “The most privacy you will have is out of the women’s quarters, the quarters where you are seldom allowed out. Trust no one, and should you need to speak to me, unless you want others to know, wait until we are out of doors.”

“How can I trust you then?” she retorted, sitting down and wincing at the hard ledge.

He smiled, slightly amused. She had fire after all. “Because I will be your personal eunuch.” He said quietly. “I would have delegated someone else… but…” he paused, frowning. He had never dealt with this before. “Anna Maria was a royal princess. She was not a concubine like the rest of the women, nor was she a wife to Casper. She was singularly, an equal and they often treated her like a sister… their relationship was much more intimate.”

She blushed at the thought. But they?

He seemed to know. “Casper and Iserlis.” He said quietly. “They are brothers, and while the latter is older, it is the former who is legimate. They were a bright, amazing trio to watch… and then she died. No one knows how. Casper was infatuated with her, and would have married her had it not demeaned her in some way… he already had three wives then, being the fourth only lessened her rank.”

Nadenka nodded, but she still didn’t under stand. “Iserlis.” She began, almost desperately.

His look was almost harsh. “You do not belong to him.” He said sharply. “You belong to Casper. He will always be there Nadenka, but you must not look at him. You must not speak to him because he is Casper’s shadow, not your plaything.” Discomforted by all this, he suddenly got up. “Come, I will show you to your quarters.”

She didn’t keep her eyes on the corriders, on the finery of the rooms she passed and the places that Baal showed to her. Her mind was busy whirling with thoughts. What did a dead princess have to do with her? Surely… she shook her head at the thought that she might be a reincarnation. Things like that didn’t work in any fashion. Instead, she followed the tall impressive form in front of her, ignoring the whispers and the words until he stopped.

“These are your rooms.” His words were formal, passive. And he stood there.

She looked up, looked at the wide archways of white and gold, looked into the square room with the curtained bed and white curtains billowing with the wind, leading to… she stepped forewords. Leading to a small garden. The room was empty except for a small floor table where a mirror and some cosmetics were place, and a thin cupboard to one end of the room. It was bare of furnishings except for the curtains and a small incense holder, and pretty… plain.

“All rooms look the same, all additions are gifts given by Casper, of the First Wife. There is nothing else you will need, because you can get them in the other rooms. Food, drinks and entertainment is such a hall way away.” His voice was passive, and he bowed.

Nadenka looked up, surprised and saw the glint of warning in her eyes.

“Inga will come for you, to show you around and to take you to the baths. Your costumes are not always so formal—not unless he calls for you. So she will help show you what to wear… if you need me, let one of the others know. Until then, I will see you before dinner.”

She watched him walk away, and was about to call out when a small hand fastened around her elbow. Turning with a startled jump, she saw the woman she had met awhile ago, and the friendliness in her eyes.

“Nadenka?” she said, smiling. “Come, I’ll show you around.”

***

The rest of the day passed in a blur. She was taken around the rooms for about the tenth time, and this time, she was sure she could remember some of it. Baal had not been wrong when he had said that there would be no need for her to leave this place—there was nothing that she was lacking.

Except for maybe freedom.

It didn’t bother her so much, though. Looking around at the beautiful women who seemed to fill every room, she should have felt even a hint of annoyance, a hint of… something, for being treated like she was merely a plaything. Yet she wasn’t.

“Are you okay, Nadenka?”

She looked over at Inga almost gratefully, and nodded her head. “I’m fine.” She said simply.

Inga smiled. Nadenka was a quiet one, slightly solemn and while she was not the greatest beauty, she had something slightly unusual about her. “That’s good.” She breathed quietly. “Come, Baal told me to take you to the baths.”

Nadenka looked up. “Again?” She had been there a while ago, rubbed down by silent eunuchs who got rid of most of the glitter and finery. Most of the concubines wore long skirts or harem pants, a jeweled corset that cinched in the waist and slip of silk that gently restrained the breasts. Her hair was piled up in something intricate, but comfortable and alone, she wore no adornments.

It seemed jewelry was another thing that could only be bestowed.

Inga laughed. “You’re not having dinner with us, tonight. He wants to meet you before.”

There was no need to question who He was. There was only one man whom the women talked about in such reverent tones. Trust no one, Baal had said. But she couldn’t help herself. “Alright.” She said.

It wasn’t that she was slovenly. She just didn’t understand taking three four baths in one day.

As if guessing her thoughts (something everyone seemed to be able to do) Inga smiled. “Usually.” She said quietly. “You only see him once a week, if your favored. Then your left alone.”

The baths always (although this was only her third time) amazed her. Large, and several rooms connected together it seemed like it’s own building, in a way. Blue and gold and white mosaics patterned every surface, and as one of the silent eunuchs helped her out of her clothes, she slipped into a scented hot bath with a groan.

All she had been doing was walking around, but she was exhausted.

The fog in the heated baths hit most people from view, and as she slipped in, all that was visible was a slight dome of her head. Groggy, and knowing already that the eunuchs would wake her up and guide her to the other rooms in time, she dozed.

“… and the head eunuch as her personal servant!” someone exclaimed, waking her from her sleep. She blinked, still tired. “If I’d known it was possible, I would have asked for him sooner… they’re supposed to help you maintain the interest of Him. Of course she’s being spoilt.”

“He’s having dinner with her as well. What has she done that she deserves something like that?” The voice was spiteful. “She’s ugly, as well. I heard that she doesn’t even know how to do the basic tasks…”

Nadenka’s face burned with shame as they continued, unaware that they were being overheard by the girl in question. She seemed to sink lower and lower in the baths, hoping that no one came for her until the two women left. It would be… too much.

Soon though, her prayers seemed to be answered because their voices faded away, leaving to other quarters. Her own skin burning with shame, and wrinkled now beyond belief she got up, unsteadily.

“You overheard everything, then?” the voice was husky, a low contralto and she turned around. She should not have been surprised to know someone else was in here, but…

“It was cowardly.” She said quietly. “But I couldn’t leave.”

The other woman, slightly taller and much shapelier got out of her own bath. As she approached, Nadenka saw the golden skin and the ebon black hair, and couldn’t help but repress a slight smile. She was beautiful. With deep blue green eyes that reminded her of a peacock’s tail eye, there was something mystical, and slightly dominant about her.

“I would say it was brave to stay.” The woman disagreed. “And to remain quiet, even with all those words.”

Nadenka blushed—or she would have, except she was already too red. “My name.” She began.

The women smiled, and it was almost slightly condescending, except there was amusement in her eyes. The way a mother would treat you, or a teacher. “I know.” She said. “Mine is Akshiel.”

Nadenka smiled. She must be a concubine as well. She looked around, wondering where she was to go.

“You’re seeing Casper again, tonight.” Nadenka’s eyes widened at the use of his name, because she hadn’t heard it before. Akshiel smiled. “We’re alone, it’s okay.” She said, grinning like a child.

Nadenka couldn’t help but grin back.

Leading the way into a room with two bed like contraptions, she lay down in one, and Nadenka followed her actions in the other. Two eunuchs seemed to appear out of now where, and she relaxed, recognizing this process.

“Some people are jealous of you, you know.” Akshiel commented quietly, and Nadenka couldn’t help but smile.

Except it was bitter.

“Why?” she asked quietly. “He merely wants to see me for one night.” She didn’t share the rest of the information, the Anna Maria story because she didn’t want to.

This woman seemed to want to be her friend. She didn’t want to jeopardize it.

She laughed. “You won’t be innocent for much longer.” Nadenka blushed, seeing another meaning to her words. “I’m not jealous, though.”

Nadenka blinked.

Akshiel continued. “They are jealous because they think you will outrank them, soon and there is more politics involved in the harems than you might think. Count yourself lucky that Baal has sworn himself to you. He will be of great help.”

“I do not understand though. What can Baal do? What…” she began.

“He swore himself to you, making him your first confidential slave, in a way. His own power will rise and fall with yours, and this shows that he is confident that you will go to new lengths. To believe that with you, he will outrank his previous status as head eunuch…” she drifted off. “You must be made of great stuff, because Baal has never predicted wrongly before.”

The eunuch didn’t stop his slow, languid strokes as he rubbed her down with oil and gold dust. Nadenka was quiet, processing her own thoughts when Akshiel spoke again.

“You need friends, Nadenka.” She said seriously. “I will be your friend.”

***

Afterwards, Baal helped Nadenka dressed in pale colors of rose and silver, stopping every once in a while to make a comment about the other harem ladies. Nadenka told him everything, and he smiled.

“Inga is a good soul. A bit stupid, but she’s kind hearted and loyal. It will be good to keep her close, because she one of the few people who could be true friends. As well as Akshiel…” Baal laughed sharply.

Nadenka looked up, surprised. “Should I not trust her?” she asked.

Baal smiled. “She is a wiley one… Akshiel is the first wife of Casper.”

Nadenka paused. Why hadn’t she said anything?

“She is confident in her own power because she is the first wife, dominating all others and because she has given birth to Casper’s heir. He is eight, and already Casper has acknowledged him. It is something that few of the other concubines have managed to do. If she says she will be your friend…” Baal stopped as he rearranged a lock of hair, and then satisfied, pulled her up. “You are very lucky.”

***

She waited in a private garden for Him. Casper. She was dressed in finery and the moon was just starting to rise, shadowing and lighting at the same time the canopy of small trees. She stood there, unsure of everything and wondering just what she was supposed to do, when a hand touched her shoulder.

“Do you like the gardens?” his voice was light, casual and she turned around.

“It’s… different.” She admitted, looking into his eyes before remembering that she shouldn’t.

He laughed. “We’re alone, here. You don’t have to act so submissive.” There was something relaxed, casual and not quite so crazy about him. He was the man Nadenka would have met in other time,  someone beautiful but normal as well.

As much as people could be normal, of course.

“Are you hungry?”

Without waiting for an answer, he moved into a four poled canopied ‘room’, and she followed.As the long white curtains moved out of her way, she looked down at the small floor table covered in silver dishes, and the cushions.

“I guess.” She smiled, feeling her stomach growl in correction. She had been eating all day, but…

He smiled. “Good.” His eyes sparkled with something else. Reaching for her hands and then tugging her down to a see next to him, he revealed four or five dishes of small bite sized morsels. She sat down, sinking under the wealth of cushions and as he leaned towards her, found herself comfortable, and at ease.

They spoke of nothing, idle talk and of their delights. They ate, him feeding her and she feeding him, nipping and sucking at small bites of food that were good, and heady. There was music somewhere, the same music and with the dark drink, the scent of incense and the slow movement of his eyes, she found herself being drawn in.

He rubbed a piece of fruit against her lips and they parted, and his eyes seemed to darken.

It would be foolish, to try to note down everything that happened that night. She remembered everything, and yet at the same time it all passed too quickly that all she remembered was a blur. A blur of hands, of lips and of burning eyes of a blue that hadn’t been invented yet.

He held her close under the canopy, sang her name and whispered anna maria. But by that time, she was so far gone he could have called her names and she wouldn’t have noticed.

She would have followed him anywhere then, and she did. She moved from the canopied room to the intimate sleeping quarters, and there again she lost herself.

“Anna maria.” He whispered hotly, and she blinked, languid in the heat and purring contently.

Her eyes, for one single second seemed to gleam a pure gold, and he smiled, satisfied.

“Nadenka.” He breathed.

***

Someone was carrying her, that much was obvious and the person was strong enough that she didn’t feel uncomfortable. Tired, and yet curious she opened her eyes only to feel someone close them again.

“Shh.” It was Baal’s quiet voice that spoke. “It’s only early morning, sleep for a while longer.”

“Is she okay?” Once, once it would have taken more then a whisper, but she had heard it often enough in the nights that she recognized it immediately. For the past three weeks, every night she had been in the company of Casper, and it would have been incredulous had she not recognized the voice, nor the touch as Casper reached out and looped small circles around her ankle.

“She’s fine. But awake.” Baal’s voice was full of amusement. The King’s bed was only for the first wife, and so every morning for the past twenty one days, Baal had come to take her back to her own quarters. “It must be tiring.” He mused out loud. “To be awoken every night. Especially for a woman.”

She had no problems with it, and she was going to say it was all okay, because she was used to it when Baal’s hand around her body tightened for a fraction in warning.

“Is it true?” Casper asked, stopping them. She opened her eyes to see him standing there, dressed in a white robe. “Does it tire you out to wake up every morning, and to be taken back?”

She wondered what she was supposed to say. Three weeks had not been enough for her to learn the courtly intrigue. Although her friendship with Inga and Akshiel had grown, they never taught her anything. Friendship had their limits in such a political environment.

So she spoke the truth. “Sometimes.” She confessed quietly. “I wish I could spend the entire night with you and not have to leave. I wish we didn’t have to go our own ways before the new day started.”

Casper’s eyes softened immediately, and she smiled back. She had never thought of course, that she would grow to love this man. But then… he and Baal were the only men to speak to her. Perhaps it was the isolation that drove some subconscious desire, but what ever the excuse, she loved seeing him smile at her like that, and dreaded the day she would not be called.

“Nadenka.” He said familiarly. She was the favorite of his now, it was clearly obvious from the cut of her clothes and the jewels that adorned her rooms. In fact, she had so much finery her gardens were scattered with small jewels. He never called her Anna Maria any more, it was as if twenty one days were all he needed to love this separate entity. He looked up at Baal. “Move her to the private quarters.”

“The one with the four consorts?” Baal said blandly. Nadenka frowned. She knew, that while the majority of the concubines were housed in the quarters for women, the three wives and four main consorts had their own quarters, sharing the main baths and entertainment areas but closer to Casper.

Casper frowned, irritated. “Will that make it easier?”

Baal easily interrupted. “You are heavily discouraged from spending the night in the Pavilion for the Favorites.” He said smoothly. “Does it not amount to the same thing?”

Casper looked up, frowning and for a moment Baal wondered if he had overstepped his bounds not only as a eunuch, but as a close confident of the powerful man. For the past three weeks he had been charting Nadenka’s progress with smug satisfaction and wonder, and he had thought it would be time now, to see her…

“Put her in Her old rooms.” He said suddenly.

Even Nadenka could hear the different stressed words. Looking up, and struggling hard enough to stay awake, she suddenly felt Casper by her side, leaning down and kissing her cheek.

“Where…” she said quietly, and he merely smiled, his eyes softened with complacency.

“You won’t have to worry about all this stress any more.” For a moment, he had the purely masculine smile as he realized why she was so tired all the time, and nodded his head. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He walked away, and Nadenka was awake now, even further fuelled to awareness by Baal’s hard posture. “Baal?” she asked, quiet.

He smiled, and then realized Nadenka couldn’t see him smile. “You’ve moved up, child.” He said quietly, with both pride and exhalation. “No ones been given those rooms since…”

***
The rooms she had been given to, lay between the large quarters held for the women, and the private pavilion held for Casper and the other men. It was a small miniature pavilion in it’s own right, with several large spacious rooms that looked out into a surrounding garden, maintaining it’s own privacy by the tall bamboo trees that kept away everything except birds and sunlight. The rooms were mostly square in shape, adorned not only with the gifts she had brought with her, but by the furnishings of the previous occupant.

“Where are you?” a voice trilled, excited beyond belief and Nadenka hurried out of her own rooms, straightening her skirt at the same time.

“Inga.” She called out, and watching as her closest friend spun around with amazement.

“I heard the news, but couldn’t believe it!” she squealed. “Your own quarters… the first wife has her own, technically but…” she walked over for a hug. “I’m so happy it’s you.” She said honestly.

Nadenka winced at the words. She had arrived yesterday afternoon, with much pomp and circumstance as Baal spoke loudly and announced her departure. Some women had laughed, mistaking his words and then their faces had fallen once they had found out…

Nadenka shivered, both with pleasure and foreboding. She had been the favorite and had been held in comtempt, but nothing harmful had happened to her yet. It was something Akshiel was always warning about, and something Baal kept mentioning, but…

“How’d you get here?” Nadenka asked, interrupting her own gory thoughts.

Inga flashed her a grin. “There’s a path from our own quarters that leads directly to the back garden. In fact, it actually used to be shared before…” she fell silence. “Well, no matter.”

Nadenka smiled. “Let me show you around.” She said.

Inga giggled, more like a little girl and Nadenka realized she had never heard it before. She stared for a moment, and Inga looked around, self conscious.

“What? What is it?” she asked.

“I never heard you laugh like that.” She mused, and Inga smiled, a little bit sad.

“My eunuch is always warning me about showing too much emotion.” She said quietly. “But this place is private, and most of all it belongs to you. I don’t think many people can over hear… unless they’re hiding.”

For a moment, the words had Nadenka panicking, and then she relaxed. “Well?” Nadenka asked. “What do you think?”

Inga smiled, shy. “I never got to come when Anna Maria lived here, and I’ve always been curious.” She began.

Nadenka paused. “Anna Maria?” she said quietly.

Why had she presumed this was some secret between the three of them? At he tone, Inga looked up, startled. “You know, the woman who used to live here before. I think she was the only one Akshiel was truly jealous of, but they were like sisters as well.” Inga shook her head. “It was so sad when she died…”

Nadenka nodded, forcing a smile. “Death is always sad, isn’t it?” she said, and then spun the subject around. “Why don’t I show you the bathroom?”

***

Akshiel laughed as someone poured the tea. With her own quarters, Nadenka had two eunuchs who served under her, merely for practicality reasons. “The others are jealous, you know.”

Nadenka smiled. “Inga told me.” She said, and at Akshiel’s look she shrugged. “I don’t go over there much often.”

Akshiel’s lips quirked into a smile. “They think you think your too good for them.” She mused.

Nadenka laughed. “It’s not that.” She said. “I’m too scared to.” At her questioning glance, Nadenka smiled mirthlessly. “I’m not politically savvy enough to stand being around people for so long, and Baal.” She stopped. “He thinks it would be better if I made more friends… but seeing as I usually make more enemies then friends…”

Akshiel nodded. “Listen to Baal’s advice. He is wise, if not modest. Did he post these two…?” she let the words trail off, and Nadenka nodded.

“Says he trusts them with his own life.” She said quietly. She hated when people talked about her as if she wasn’t there, so she tried not to do it herself.

Akshiel leaned back against the chair. “You look different.”

Nadenka raised a self conscious hand to her hair, and smiled. “Do I?”

Akshiel nodded. “Casper… he’s good for you. You’ve got light in your eyes, and something else.”

Nadenka blushed at the thought. This week, she had wondered if Casper would leave her alone now, but he hadn’t, and while some part of her told herself to feel bad about all this, she couldn’t. “Akshiel.” She began.

Akshiel shook her hand. “If there was one wife he could have.” She said solemnly. “I would wish it was you.”

Even Nadenka knew this as a compliment, and she smiled. “Thank you.” She said quietly. “I…”

Her words were cut off however, when the eunuch who had been standing so quietly suddenly reached out, and with a flash of silver aimed something to her throat that had her immediately duck done. Feeling something nick her on the side, she heard Akshiel’s scream and a hard force knocking her into table corner.

Everything went black.

***

It was dark, and it was comforting except a voice kept interrupting her sleep.

“Is she okay? How could you let this happen. How could you let this HAPPEN?” The voice raged. Anna Maria grimaced, trying to tell Casper that everything was okay, that it was her fault she had burned herself with the tea and that it wasn’t Aspien’s. After all, he hadn’t known what she was doing!
Except why did her head hurt so much?

“I’m incredibly sorry” someone elses voice spoke, and she knew it to be Baals. Although who Baal was, she couldn’t remember. Her own eunuch was called Aspien. Maybe there was someone else he knew… “I trusted him with my own life…”

“Your life isn’t worth much without her.” He said coldly. “He attacked not only her, but Akshiel as well.”

Attack? Who…what… she stirred, and as she did so that pain in her head increased tenfold, enough to have her groan aloud. Immediately, someone went over and placed his hand on her forehead.

“Nadenka, stay still. You had a concussion and the healer wants you to stay horizontal for as long as possible.”

Nadenka?

She was Nadenka. Immediately other thoughts surfaced, and she blinked, opening her eyes to see Casper’s concerned face looking down at her. “Are you feeling better?”

Nadenka tried to speak, only to realize her voice was raspy. “Great.” She said dryly, and then winced. “What…”

Baal stepped forewords, his face pale with worry and then, relaxing frown. “It’s my fault.” He said bitterly. “I never fully considered just how jealous the other concubines would be… they bribed one of the eunuchs to attack you, at least hard enough that Casper would lose interest… he got a little bit excited however, and reacted too soon. Fortunatly, Akshiel’s own men were just outside, and he was…” he stopped. “Terminated.”

“Akshiel’s fine.” Casper said. “A bit bruised…” he looked up at Baal with daggers in his eyes. “He shouldn’t have died so quickly.”

Nadenka shivered at the tone of bloodlust in her lover’s voice, and he looked down, mistaking her movement for something else.

“I know your scared.” He said compassionately, quietly. “Listen, I’m going to increase the men…”

Baal interrupted. “I told you, sir. That might not be good enough. I’m amazed that they managed to bribe one eunuch as it is… I personally meet with them and he never showed this kind of potential…” his voice was bitter, not only because his charge had been attacked, but because it had been someone he had trusted. “If this can happen to one man, what makes you think she’ll be safe with more men around her?”

Casper’s eyes narrowed. “What am I to do then?” he asked furiously.

Baal paused. “I believe, this suggestion.” He said softly. Casper scowled, but he didn’t say anything.

“Fine, fine.” He grumbled, and looked down. “Nadenka, I want you to follow Baal tomorrow. I might not be able to guarantee your safety with humans, but I’m going to see that you’re protected.”

***
Nadenka followed Baal outside, down the different corridors and into rooms that she had never seen before. She had never been down this side of the palace, and now that she was, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit of fear.

“Casper keeps show animals.” He said. “He’s famous for the exotic species he’s managed to buy from all over the worlds. But he also breeds his own.” He waved his arms around. “This leads to an underground maze of rooms, held and worked by both members of family and staff. It is… different, from the rest of the palace and strictly off limits. The people here cannot enter the forbidden grounds, and neither can any one else enter these rooms.”

She looked around. Everything was cold, sterile and so… familiar. She followed him into a small room, and watched as he paused by a pair of doors.

“He wants you to have some kind of guard dog, Nadenka. If you must choose one, be practical.”

Nadenka looked up. “You won’t come with me?” she asked, surprised. She was so used to being followed that she didn’t know how to react.

Baal nodded his head. “He wants this to be done by you. Go in, choose and.” Baal smiled. “I’ll be waiting here.”

Nadenka nodded, hesitant and also scared. As she pressed her hand against the door, they slid open and she entered a large, rectangular room with cages to a long end across the hall from her. She paused, her eyes flying over the different forms.

Some where in her own mind, she knew that these animals were not ‘normal.’

“You don’t need to be so scared.” The voice was masculine, dark and dominant in the way Baals and Casper’s were not. But she knew it. Turning around and seeing no one, she frowned with confusion when a tall figure stepped out of a corner of a shadow.

Shadows… her eyes parted with recognition.

“You don’t need to be so scared of me either.” He said quietly, solemnly as he watched her, his eyes appraising her. “You’ve grown up.”

“I was told to forget you.” She retorted, surprised by her own strength and watched as he arched a brow. But it was true. Somehow, somehow she had forgotten him.

“Braver as well.” He mused. “So, my brother sent you along for you to get a pet.”

Nadenka turned away. She had not thought of his man for so long, so why was she reacting so strongly? Why did she feel as if every bit of her body was straining for… for release?

Because a long time ago, she had been doing just that and she had never been allowed her release.

“No words?” he said, mockingly.

“You left me.” She said quietly.

He fell silent as well. “Casper is the ruler.” He said, as if this explained everything.

She turned, and for a moment her eyes flashed golden. A pure, heated golden that had him blink. She walked aimlessly towards the cage, and within them she felt the cold, straining hunger that she felt inside herself as well.

“You could have given me something.” She said, her had drifting over the cages, her mind lost in other memories, when she had…

She shuddered. It was not something that should be thought of, in daylight.

“Like what?” his voice was the same, harsh and controlling. “A kiss?”

She turned around, surprised, and then smiled. “Yes.” She said. “Or a good bye.”

As she looked, lost into the cages and wondered just how she was supposed to select a beast, how she was supposed to know that one would protect her, and not kill her, her eyes fastened onto just one of them.

Yes. Perfect.

“I’ll have her.” Her voice was calm. And she was proud of herself.

***

“A hybrid cat dragon from a new world.” Baal’s voice was proud when he said this, and slightly curious but when he saw the creature, there was a touch of disappointment in his eyes.

“What is it?” Nadenka asked, stepping forewords almost protectively and reaching out. The creature seemed fierce enough, but there was something too fluffy about it as it started to purr.

“It’s a bit docile.” Baal admitted, and Nadenka snorted.

“You shouldn’t judge people on their appearances.” She chided lightly, and looked over at the creature with soft eyes. “She” Nadenka stressed. “Is called Zamba.” It was one of the few words she remembered that meant pride, and Nadenka thought it suited her.

The creature was pure black with markings and claws of such a crimson that they appeared to be almost metallic. Coming up to about shoulder height, Zamba was tall enough and strong enough to carry Nadenka at short distances, and small enough that standing by her side, Nadenka’s hand reached her shoulder at a comfortable level. She was completely different from her mistress, dark and dominant and yet they were so similar because there was something almost… cute, about them.

“Couldn’t you have chosen something that bespoke more of royalty, something more flashy?”

Nadenka’s eyes shot up with a look of reprove, something she would not have shown before except Zamba seemed to give her new mistress some courage.

“She called out to me.” Nadenka said simply. She had seen those hungry eyes staring at her and knew it had not been for her blood… rather, she had recognized that look, the same tinted glaze that came into her own when she lost control over her senses.

Baal stood there, frowning all the while but nodded his head. “Come.” He said shortly. “We will go back now.”

The trip back was in strained silence, and Nadenka realized that this was the closest that Baal and she had gotten to a fight. Nadenka wanted to make up to him somehow, for he was her only companion but she didn’t know how to. What were you supposed to say to a man like him?

Instead, she went in silence, and he guided her all the way to her inner sanctum, into a large room filled with natural sunlight and thin novels before departing.

“Nadenka.” He said, stopping by the door and she looked up, eager.

“Yes?” she asked.

“If anything happens…” there was a flash of shame in his eyes. “Call me. If your pet can’t protect you.” Nadenka immediately reached out and clutched a handful of fur on Zamba’s back, and the creature purred in response.

“Fine.” Her voice was cool. Must Baal insult Zamba already?

“Fine.” He echoed, and walked out.

She was left in silence, then.

Silence. It had always bothered her, ever since she had arrived because nothing had truly held her attention for long. She was not gifted in any arts that she took pleasure from it, and instead saw it as a chore, lessons in order to make herself more suited for Casper. But with every day that went by, her patience seemed to snap and today, she felt it reach it’s breaking point.

“I can’t stand this place any more” she murmured to herself, getting up and moving around listlessly. Usually, she had someone to see, something to… she snapped her fingers as an idea hit her. “Lets go visit Inga.” She said out loud, with purpose.

She never went over to the main buildings any more, but…

Getting ready was a small task. She felt slightly foolish, of course but she wanted to look good, especially to hide the marks on her face and so chose a dusky peacock shade of blue and green that seemed to hide the marks rather than echo them. A odd contrast of colors, and she noted with pleasure how well it suited…

No, she mustn’t think of Zamba as a pet.

Nervous, and apprehensive as well in case Inga was busy and didn’t want to see her, her hand was always playful with the long, silky fur on Zamba’s back but it didn’t seem to bother the cat dragon. Rather, she purred contently and seemed to encourage her companion’s touch. She was drawn into her own thoughts enough, that she didn’t notice the shadows following her.

Until one of them spoke.

“So, miss high and mighty is back to see us.”

She had not heard the voice for weeks, but it was still the same, and she still recognized it as one of the women who had insulted her. Turning around slowly, she saw two gorgeous concubines dressed in gold and peach, and saw the vibrant hostility in her eyes. She took a step back, and would have taken another except Zamba wouldn’t move with her.

“You think that by wearing your new finery, it makes a difference? Your still trash, girl. He’s only infatuated with you because he thinks you’re someone else. What happens when he realizes your not? He’s only going to be even more angry…”

She flinched at the words as only someone whose having their loved ones used as a weapon could.

“He should have killed you when he had the chance.”

Zamba growled, a deep violent noise at the low of her throat, but the two concubines didn’t seem to care. Standing there, and watching her with arrogance Nadenka’s own eyes narrowed.

“You’re just jealous.” She retorted bitingly, and for a moment brown eyes seemed to be molten gold and feline ones echoed her own look of defense. Except… the ones that belonged to the cat whirling was more…

The scream startled the silence of the rooms.

“Zamba! NO!”

She lunged at them, claws extended like a feline except they had more bite to them, and the odd inflected horns extended from her chest seemed to embed themselves. One woman fell under the direct assault, and the other was dragged down when Zamba’s forelegs reached out for her.

At the note of fear in her companion’s voice, Zamba’s frenzy only seemed to increase and Nadenka looked on, horrified before she ran over to pull her off.

Except it was too late.

***

Nadenka’s hands were shaking, and no matter how often Zamba tried to lick the blood off her companion’s hands, Nadenka merely flinched away. It made her masochistic heart feel more at ease to have proof of what she had done…

Except it wasn’t really her fault, was it?

“Nadenka.” Baal’s deep, heavy voice interrupted her reverie, and she looked up, rather like prey.

“Are they okay?” she asked anxiously, and he shook his head.

“One died, too much blood loss and sustained wounds on her major organs. It seems your catdragon packs a mean punch.” His smile was oddly wry for a moment. “The other… she’s in critical shape. Zamba only nicked muscle but it might form wrong, or not at all. She might lose her mobility in her legs for life.”

The horror in Nadenka’s eyes were brutally honest, and Baal reached out with a reassuring arm. “This isn’t your fault.” He said gruffly. “They baited you, not knowing what a true guard animal would react as and… Iserlis should have trained her better.”

At that name, Nadenka went hot and cold at once, but Baal misinterpreted her reaction for something else.

“It’s okay.” He said soothingly. “Casper understands. He has to smooth things over with everyone, so we won’t be seeing him for a couple of days… but it’s okay. Akshiel is probably the only one who will anyways.” He smiled. “When time comes, he’ll remember you soon enough.”

***

He came back to her in two days. It would have been surprising if he hadn’t, of course. Two days and he was back with flowers and jewelry, concerned and exasperated that everyone seemed to want to attack her, and that he couldn’t spend every day with her.

Or at least, he tried.

The first day he arrived, Zamba blocked his entrance and wouldn’t let him near her bedroom.

The second night, and outright attacked his guards.

The third, she attacked him.

And on the fourth, Casper gave up.

“She won’t let me near my Anna Maria!” he raged, bellowing and throwing things around the room.

“And is this my problem?” Iserlis asked calmly, his face that ever same mask as he watched his brother make a fool of himself in the privacy on his own room.

“It’s your doing, isn’t it?” he snarled, stalking over with murder in his eyes. “You planned this from the start!”

“And why would I do that?” his tone was clearly bored.

“Because you loved her too!” Casper spat out, and Iserlis froze. “You loved her, and you knew you couldn’t have her but you still tried and you turned her against me! Anna Maria died because of you, I won’t see that happen again!”

At these words, something ticed at the corner of Iserlis’ temple, and something in his eyes seemed to gleam with fire. “Brother.” He said quietly. “Watch your words.”

Casper looked up, madness hazing his vision and visibly tried to control himself. “Iserlis.” He said. “Iserlis.” He repeated his brother’s name like a mantra and it seemed to work well enough because he did grow calmer. “I” he started.

“Save it.” Casper’s voice faltered at Iserlis’ cold tone. “And go to your concubine.”

***

They solved the matters in the end by leaving Zamba alone at night and having Nadenka rush through a connecting hallway towards Casper. It was something that Nadenka was not happy with, but what could she do?

Even now, even so secure of his devotion, she was powerless.

He lay next to her, covering her with the jade green spread and ran little circles on her shoulder, smiling. “I love you, you know.” He reminded her.

She looked at him, carefully and saw his smile fall. “I know.” She said, but too late.

“Don’t you believe me?” he asked.

She watched him, not sure what to say and said the only thing she could. “You love me.” She said slowly, searchingly, ready to stop. “As much as you think your allowed to. But I’m still just one of them. A concubine.”

He watched her, watched the side of her neck and her ears and between her brows, any where but her brows. “You don’t live with them.” He said. “I gave you your own quarters.”

He didn’t seem angry though, and Nadenka turned, positioning herself so that they were staring squarely at each other, and he couldn’t avoid her gaze any more. “But I’m still one of them.”

“I won’t make you my wife.” He said quietly. “Because you would only be the fourth. Instead, I show my respect by giving you everything else.” He paused, as if expecting something from her that she wasn’t quite prepared to give.

She was surprised to find that she wasn’t reacting as strongly as she had expected. That she wasn’t feeling pain or betrayal or angst at his words. Feeling oddly indifferent and numb, as if she was living through someone else’s body she said.

“But I will always be the concubine, and you will always be the master.”

He frowned at her words, and abruptly got up. Moving over to the screens she watched the shadows play with the planes of his body and felt… lost. In the beginning, she had wanted Iserlis. And then she had been given to this man and now…

She didn’t know what to think.

“Come with me.” He said suddenly, and she looked up, blank. “I was going to tell you that for the next week I am heading into the neighboring state for a diplomatic visit… women are never invited, but they do come along and it shows status. A man can never take his entire harem and so the ones who come are usually his wives.” He paused, walking over and kneeling next to her, grasping her hands. “Come with me. You will be the only one I will take. Akshiel… Akshiel will understand.”

He said this so flippantly, as if his first wife was only a plaything that could be ignored at his will. But she didn’t really care any more. She smiled, squeezed his hands back as hard as she could in return, and nodded her head.

***

Things were settled quickly, far too quickly and during that time in between when Baal packed for her and they arranged Zamba’s own transportation (it seemed Casper did not want the cat dragon with Nadenka at all times) Nadenka did not see Akshiel once. She wondered briefly, if someone was telling the first wife to keep away but didn’t dwell too much on it—thoughts of Akshiel brought up ideas that were too emotional, and too powerful.

She was a coward.

When the time came for them to leave, it was only Baal and Casper she knew who would go with them. The rest of their numbers were made up of diplomats and eunuchs who she had never seen, and she realized for the first time just how narrow her life had become.

“Nadenka!” Casper called out, waving at her and she looked over, smiling. Hurrying over, he hesitated in front of Zamba.

Nadenka had agreed reluctantly, to have Zamba muzzled—it was a cruel thing, but selfishly enough she wanted to be with the big cat dragon rather than leave her behind.

Walking over and dressed in shades of butter and bronze that seemed to highlight and almost normality in her, her eyes flashed a hint of gold before withdrawing into something more like shyness.

People watched her, and they talked, but it wasn’t hostility she felt, but rather open curiosity. Who was she to accompany Casper? Was she a concubine? A princess? She seemed to wear enough of her own jewels that she was powerful in one way or another, and loved.

“Come, you will ride with me.” He said, pointing to box like vehicle held by eunuchs and large enough for five people. He smiled, foolishly pleased. “It will give us a lot of privacy as well.”

At his knowing look at that touch, she chuckled. “Casper.” She whispered back. “We’re among company.”

Casper winked, and she felt something in her heart lighten. This, this was what it was supposed to be like. Something care free and filled with light talk. Shading her eyes and gathering the hem of her skirt (she had practiced it enough so that she didn’t look clumsy) she climbed in, allowing her eyes to adjust to the low shadows, and smiled.

This would be nice.

“It isn’t that far.” He said quietly, following behind her and placing a hand on her leg for support. “It takes two days, but we will stop for night at a neighboring fort belonging to an ally, and should you need to rest…” he looked anxious, ready to please and Nadenka felt… older.

As if somehow, she was a different person. “Casper.” She said lightly, settling herself in the corner and feeling cool air instead of warm heat. How did they do that? “I’ll be fine. I’m not weak.”

He smiled, almost relieved. “I might have to leave you alone, occasionally because of the diplomats. But don’t worry. Baal is close by and…” for a moment, he hesitated, as if not sure of how she will react to his words. “Iserlis is in the carriage beside us.”

Nadenka’s features were smooth, and almost cautiously she held back a slight intake of breath. He was watching her too closely, and while she did not know why, she did not think it was wise to show how his news affected her.

Even she had begun to learn how to hide herself.

“I’m sure I won’t need anything.” She said warmly, and patted the seat next to her. “Tell me about where we’re going.” She said.

He smiled, and tugging at her so that her head rested on her shoulder, began to speak of lands beyond her screen walls.

***

The trip to the palace was quick. Quicker than she would have expected. It was not that she was busy, merely that it being the first time she had left the palace walls, she was too infatuated with everything to notice the passage of time.
Most of her days were spent with Casper, away from the others and away from Zamba. It did not mean that she was always alone, though. Casper seemed to take a child like pleasure in showing her around, in watching her reactions as they witnessed the world around them.
When they arrived in front of the rigid, white washed structure, she was too busy paying attention to the world around her, the way people seemed to line up on the streets and watch the procession, and the brightly painted woman laughing from the edges of the balcony, to see a tall pale man smile at Casper with an intent expression on his face.

Nothing really bothered her enough, right now.

“Nadenka.” Casper stepped forewords, smiling as he helped her down from the carriage and rearranged the veil around her face. It was to give her partial modesty, and also for practical reasons as well—the sun was harsher here, then back at home. “Baal will show you to your rooms.”

“My rooms?” she asked blankly, and smiled. Of course. This was not so different- she would not be spending her time with him, in his own quarters.

He nodded, smiling. “I asked.” He said, boyish again. “That they be special. Because you are special.”

Nadenka would have blushed with pleasure. “Will I see you tonight?” she asked, and he nodded, squeezing her hands tightly.

“Of course.” He whispered fiercely, and looked around. He almost made a face, she could see him try to make fun of his surroundings, except he was too political to give in. “I’ll see you tonight, Nadenka.”

Blissfully, she was led away by Baal to the concubine quarters. They were similar to the ones back at home, positioned in such away that while segregated from the rest of the palace, there was really no need to leave the grounds.

A bit finer perhaps, and a little bit more colorful, she looked around, expecting to see the same faces back at home only to see strangers peering at her from behind veiled masks.

It was odd, how different a days journey could mean in culture.

***


“Nadenka.” Baal stood by the doors. “I’m to take you to the baths.”

Nadenka did have her own rooms, adorned with soft shades of pale silver and blue that it appeared like the underwing of some great bird. Her quarters were modestly large, simply furnished and it’s comfort was the ivory vanity where she had seen thousands of tiny bottles of scent and paint for the face as well as the body.

“Already?” she asked, getting up from where she had been talking to Zamba, treating her more like a friend than a body guard.

Baal smiled. “Casper wants to show you off. I, want to show you off. You’re the first woman to accompany him who wasn’t Anna Maria or his wife. I think you should spend some time in the public baths, see what they think.”

Nadenka smiled, amused by his way of thinking. “Very well.” She said, sighing a teasing, long suffering sigh. “I shall go.” She arched a brow. “But”

Baal smiled. “I’ll rescue you.” He promised. “If it gets vicious.”

She shivered at the thought. She wouldn’t come across that again… would she?

The baths were different, the set up slightly more open and when she entered, there were enough people that she could feel their frank, curious stares against her back. She was self conscious of her own body, as well as her actions and she found herself slinking in the corners, almost disgusted with her submissiveness.

“You’re the new girl, aren’t you?” one asked, frankly pretty with a blunt nose and wide eyes of pure violet.

Nadenka nodded, feeling suddenly shy. “I am with Casper.” She said, and watched them twitter.

“He’s over a lot, you know.” Another interjected slyly, the way women exchange gossip over common lovers. “Our prince always offers his finest women to him, but he always declines. There were rumors that he … enjoyed the opposite sex, even when his wife came in tow.” She smiled. “But I guess we know now.”

“Nadenka? I thought your name was Anna Maria.” One asked, confused and Nadenka’s head shot up.

“What?” she said, frowning. Was he starting again? He hadn’t called her that name in such a long time…

The other girl looked just as lost, and a little bit scared as well, as if not wanting to have the attention drawn to herself. “It’s just something I overheard.” She murmured in self defense.

The one with the violet eyes laughed, covering up the silence. “You know we’re not supposed to overhear conversations.” She said, grinning that wicked grin as if it was normal. “Don’t worry yourself, Nadenka.” She said simply, reassuring the younger girl. “You’re really special.”

She was starting to feel it as well.

***

That night she dined alone with Casper, but he did not eat because he had already feasted with the other men. Instead, he fed her, wholly lavishing all of his attention on his young concubine without his own hunger to distract him. His eyes were burning, intent and she felt both rebellious and shy at his look. They were far away, and while his touch was familiar, the room was not.

“It turns out I’m going to be busier then I thought.” He said quietly, his voice a small whisper. He leaned forewords, letting her nibble on a small piece of orange fruit and smiled. “I can’t take you around after all.”

“Oh.” She was disappointed—what woman wouldn’t be? But she was used to this. She hadn’t forgotten who he was, and why they were here. “You told me there was a fair.” She said quietly.

He smiled. “There is, a magician from a distant plant has come with a circus.” He smiled at the look of joy, and there was such honest regret that she felt… even more loved.

Funny, how the heart took comfort on little things.

“But please, go. Enjoy yourself. It might be gone, or have a different program by the time I manage to go with you. Take Baal, and any of the other concubines.” He paused. “Are they treating you well?”

She smiled, blushing at the obvious concern. Of course he would worry… but she wouldn’t be lying to save his feelings when she replied. “They are. They… treat me like some oddity.” She said, musing. “Because I’m your first.” She decided not to mention the Anna Maria thing. It had been such a minor incident, after all.

Casper smiled. “As long as you’re happy.” He said lightly, and she laughed as well. “No, really.” His eyes were serious as he gazed into hers, and he leaned forewords. “Nadenka” he said softly. “I want us to be happy.”

Nadenka smiled, and suddenly not hungry for food, she crawled over so that they were face to face. “I want us to be happy as well.” She breathed into his face.

He smiled, and he watched for a moment as her eyes went molten.

***

The circus was a wonderful place, and several of the concubines went as well. Not because she had invited them, but because their own Prince had been taken in by the moment of it all and had declared it a holiday. They were treated differently from other women, of course. There was no way someone would have mistaken them for a normal woman, not with their finery and their lightly accented words.

Nadenka stuck close to Baal, watching the stunts and the animals, taken in by it all and she acted like a child, not caring who saw. It was different though, and while she did feel a pang of loss that Casper was not with her, at the same time, she could not help but feel secretly relieved that he had allowed her to come.

She would not have missed this for the world.

“Baal, what’s in there?”

The eunuch who had become an almost brother watched her with a bemused smile. “A tent, a fortune tellers tent.” He said, seeing the brightly patterned gauze of blue and gold. His smile deepened at her look of joy. “Do you want to go in?”

She tried to show reluctant. “Of course not.” She said loftily. “I don’t believe in…” at his skeptical look, she gave in,  surrendering with a sheepish smile. “Maybe for a little bit.”

He laughed. “I’ll wait outside.” At her questioning look, he explained. “It’s usually private, and they don’t like having other people in there.” Especially when two people usually managed to catch a charlatan’s tricks. But he decided not to ruin her fun for her.

The tent was much larger than she had expected, full of smoky light and music that seemed to go straight to her senses. She was captivated by it all, drawn into it when she saw a beautiful woman wreathed in tons of silk and gauze—how she knew that the woman was beautiful, Nadenka did not know.

“Welcome, child.” The voice was the kind that would always be familiar, maternal and seductive at the same time, and Nadenka sat down. “Your fortune?”

Nadenka managed a nod, and the woman’s eyes crinkled in the corners with amusement. “Yes, please.” She managed, getting out her voice.

It was in the beginning, your usual kind of fortune telling. She told Nadenka that she would find love, that there would be hard ships and that persistence would see her through everything. It was the kind of thing that she was used to hearing even from Inga, who claimed to have fortune tellers blood. But still, she ignored the jaded side of her, wanting to be swept away.

“Have a good day, child.”

“Is that all?” Nadenka was almost disappointed, and it showed in her slightly childish tone because the fortune teller laughed.

“Nadenka.” She said, and Nadenka got up, about to leave. “Nadenka.” The woman repeated.

Nadenka turned around. “Yes?” she asked politely.

“Don’t trust him.” Came her soft answer. “You’re going to lose yourself and wake up with memories that are not yours. You don’t know yourself, and it will surprise you when you find out just what you are…”

The message was foreboding, and Nadenka frowned, leaving with a slight shudder. Weren’t fortune tellers supposed to tell stories of love and happy endings?

“Have fun?” Baal asked at the door, and she smiled.

“A bit.” She said grudgingly. It had been fun, to an extent.

“Good. We have to go now.”

She was suddenly disappointed. “Already?”

He nodded, motioning with his head to the brightly colored women leaving. “The prince is calling everyone back. Seems someone special has visited the castle, and he wants everyone to be prepared.”

Nadenka smiled ruefully, and with regret. “I guess we can come back again next time…” she said, and Baal laughed.

“Casper will bring you.” He said. “I promise.”

Nadenka nodded, and proceeded to tell Baal all about her fortune incident while traveling to the castle. “So it was a bit disappointing.” She said, summing it up.

Baal gave her an odd look, and she blinked.

“What?”

“Did you ever give her your name?” he asked, and she shook her head, suddenly surprised as well.

And truth be told, a little bit scared.

Baal shook his head. “She probably knew it before, by doing research. I’m sure she had tons of imps hiding and eaves dropping to the crowds for this very reason.”

He dismissed the sudden worry as if it meant nothing, and she smiled, nodding and agreeing with him, but she couldn’t really shake off that feeling.

Had she met that woman before, somewhere?

Surely she would remember…

***

In the shadows, Casper waited, his hands clasped behind his back and his eyes narrowed to keep away the lone ray of light. He was tense, anyone would have been able to see that much from the straightness of his shoulders.

“Casper.” Iserlis began, and Casper spun around, cursing an oath when he realized who it was.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” he snapped, furious that this might have been interrupted.

Iserlis paused by the door. “I was going to tell you that Nadenka was back.” He said slowly. “I never leave you alone. You know that.”

Casper, hearing that slightly dangerous tone paused, and softened a little bit. “I didn’t mean anything by the words, brother.” He said slowly. “I just wish to be alone right now.”

Iserlis hesitated, saw the look of determination in Casper’s eyes and nodded his head reluctantly. “Very well” he said grudgingly. “I’ll tells Nadenka that you are busy.”

Casper was not listening to his brother any more. Instead, he was standing there, waiting for another sign, when it came.

The moment Iserlis closed the doors behind him, a tall bony man stepped out from the shadows.

“He would have ruined everything.” The man’s voice rasped.

Casper nodded. “But he is my brother.” He warned.

The man was tall, skinny with a long goatee and eyes of a gentle brown. He appeared almost kind, or would have, had his face not held a slightly sadistic cast. “Your Highness.” He bowed.

Casper smiled. “You of all people don’t need to show respect.” He said, admonishing the other man lightly. “You are the High Magician, and most of all… if you have what I want.”

“I do.” He interjected gently.

“Then I owe you my life.” Casper finished smoothly. His eyes gleamed with greediness. “Where is it?” he demanded.

The man smiled, one of slyness and expectation as he pulled out a velvet bag. Casper snatched it from his grasp, showing the first signs of uncontrolled reflexes and reached inside. He pulled out a simple silver chain with a thick curved piece of shiny platinum at the end of it, rather like a figure eight. At the bottom loop, circled by the metal hung a tiny pale pink pearl.

“That’s it?”

The magician laughed at the doubt in Casper’s voice. “That is all you will need.” He promised. “The magic is activated, waiting only to be warn…”

Casper’s gaze was still doubtful, but he did not doubt this man. “I thank you.” He said.

“You haven’t seen it work yet.” The man replied, his lips quirking into a grin.

Casper smiled then, but his eyes were clouded, thinking of other things. “I don’t need to.” He said, his voice slightly on the point of feverish. “This is what I’ve been waiting for…”

***

Nadenka looked around so quickly that a muscle in her neck spasmed. And then she spent the next few moments trying to control it without making it too obvious. Dressed in shades of deep rose and burgundy that weren’t usually her first choice, the clothing was different from back at home, a ‘kimono’ style that seemed to take up enough room by itself, without the additional company.

Someone besides her laughed. “You make it seem like you’ve never seen the great hall before.” They whispered, and she looked back, grinning.

“I haven’t.” she whispered back. The room was large, glittering and full of both people and artifacts that she couldn’t quite focus on one thing.

“Well.” The girl said warmly. “We’re allowed the enter this place on our own, but as long as they’re two of us. I’ll bring you back tomorrow morning.”

Nadenka smiled, relieved to be able to think about tomorrow, and also about this gesture of friendship. “I’d like that.” She whispered back.

The other woman suddenly giggled, as if shy and Nadenka looked up to see Casper watching her intently. “He’s been staring at you all night.” She said, as if it explained everything.

Nadenka stared right back just as boldly, and then she smiled.

It seemed to be all the encouragement he needed, because suddenly he got up from his seat. The most important men were positioned in one short end of the rectangular hall, the women on the other, with entertainment between them. The room seemed a jangle of noises and people interrupted themselves, watching as he moved and with a flurry of excited whispers, faces swiveled to Nadenka’s direction, knowing that she was the one he was approaching.

“This has never happened before.” The girl besides her, the one who had offered to show her around, murmured excitedly. Nadenka flushed, but she never looked away. She couldn’t.

He sat across her then, completely inappropriate and smiled. Both men and women had dishes in front of them on a long, narrow table, and yet instead of seeing this as a barrier, he saw it as something useful. Reaching down and plucking something succulent, he placed it in front of her lips intently.

She opened her lips and bit, and smiled. The girl next to her stifled a moan, but Nadenka wasn’t embarrassed any more.

“It seems.” Their host drawled. “Our guest has some other kind of entertainment on his mind.” His words should have been lewd, indeed, they had meant to be but there was a note of envy in the prince’s voice, and also amusement.

Casper looked up, and then behind. Getting up and bowing deeply, he murmured. “I regretfully would like to ask if I can withdraw.”

The man’s eyes crinkled in the corners with understanding, and amusement. “I suppose she will be as well?” he asked archly. Some people laughed, but it was not mean. Casper was too powerful to be laughed at, and the situation too unique to be made fun of. “Very well, Casper.” He said, waving his hand. “But next time, please appreciate the effort my house goes into to produce such entertainment.” His smile was wicked, and boyish. “I will postpone everything until mid afternoon. Surely you will have rested, by then.”

The implications of his words were not lost, but Nadenka only smiled. Casper, smiling as well turned out and reached for her hand.

She took it, and they walked off side by side.

***

They sat enjoying a private dinner, and other things as well. Tonight was special, Nadenka knew this because of the way he looked at her, and because of the fact that this place was different.

“We should get away more often.” She said impishly, and he smiled, taking her words to heart.

“We should.” He said, agreeing with her. She stopped, her smiling stilling because this wasn’t light hearted. “I have a gift for you.” He said earnestly.

“Me?” she asked, quiet, and smiled. He always did, so why did she always feel so special?

He smiled back, and reached for a crimson velvet bag, taking out a silver chain. “This is for you.”

She was enraptured by the little pink pearl, the way it seemed to gleam with a life of it’s own, and she smiled. It was different, from what he usually gave her. “Thank you.” She said.

“Aren’t you going to try it on?”

She looked up at his odd tone of voice, and nodded. “Of course.” She reached for it, and it was his turn to hesitate. “Casper?” she asked.

He smiled, and getting up moved behind her to fasten it around her neck. “It’s beautiful.”

She laughed a self conscious laugh, feeling the way it settled around her neck. “You haven’t even seen the way it looks.” She teased.

His hands rested on her shoulders. “You’re always beautiful.”

The words, too heavy for her had her turn around and smile at him. “Thank you.” She said again, and she meant it this time.

***

That night she dreamt.

She dreamt of blonde hair and brown eyes, of silk and of people fawning over her, of Iserlis and Casper together, in more ways then one. She dreamt of pain, the kind that came from physical force and she dreamt of such fierce, bone aching love and it crushed her under.

Nadenka felt asleep dreaming of someone else’s memories.

And she woke up with eyes that were different.

Eyes that were still a shade of brown and black, but different. Some other light gleamed within them, some arrogance that had not existed before.

The eunuchs treated her with more respect, they saw her arrogance as only a new part of herself, and Baal did not have time to object because he did not see her.

Zamba would not go near her.

“Nadenka.” Someone spoke by the door, and she found, irritated. Did these concubines not know their own places?

“What is it?” she snapped out, and saw the girl walk in, flushed with excitement.

“How was it?” she giggled. “Everyone was talking about it at night… ooh, is that a new gift? It’s beautiful.” She reached out to touch it and Nadenka slapped her hand away. The girl stilled.

“What are you doing here?” Nadenka asked.

“I thought, I was supposed to show you around?” she stammered, lost with this new woman. Was this what sex did to Nadenka? Well, she didn’t like it.

Nadenka snorted. “I don’t need your help.” There was something about the way she said the words, some way that she emphasized the ‘your’ that had the girl’s back stiffening and his eyes bridling with indignation.

“If this is the way you feel.” The girl snapped back just as coolly, not a stranger to court politics. “Have a nice day.”

Some part of her was a little regretful to see the girl go—she did not even know her name. But another part was fiercely glad. How dare that girl interrupt her day?

And where was Iserlis when she needed him?

***

That girl was not the only one to notice the difference. Something inherent within Nadenka had changed, some subtle way that her brain was made which affected everything around her. Zamba refused to be in the same company with her, at least alone and in public barely tolerated her new mistress. She was edgier, more loud and there was some self assurance within her, as if she knew that the world was hers for the taking and that she was just not interested in it yet.

Baal noticed the difference as well, the way he had gone from an almost brother like figure to the valued eunuch. He was still admired and respected, but he was not liked any more, and it bothered him.

Everyone who noticed the difference put it down to after glow, or used it as an excuse. ‘They had just not known her well enough to know how mean she was’ was the common phrase that spun through the courts, and eventually some word of this sudden change drifted back to Nadenka and Casper’s original harem.

Casper. If anyone should have noticed the difference, it should have been him, and yet he did not seem alarmed about any change within Nadenka. In fact, some swore that he insisted that she had not changed—rather, that she was becoming more like herself, shedding the layers of insecurity and shyness that had once existed.

And those few times he admitted that she was changing, he seemed to happy about it to care.

“What is wrong with Nadenka changing?” he would say with a smug smile. “Anna Maria is merely getting comfortable again.”

No one ever knew if that slip of tongue was really accidental.

***

“Something is wrong with her.” Baal was talking to himself, worried now and not caring just who exactly listened. Actually, that was a lie. He did care- he just couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it.

They were planning to head back home in one day, and while he should have been with her, helping her back and making sure she was okay… he couldn’t really stand behind around her.

He knew who she reminded him of, Anna Maria. But it was a different Anna Maria as well, twisted somehow, and evil and not the one he had wanted to be Queen.

“What is wrong with her?” he muttered to himself, blaming his own inactions for the cause of this all. Rushing through the crowds and half afraid he would miss it all, when he saw the familiar blue tent, he realized just how much hope he had placed on the woman inside.

Surely, if anyone could solve it, the woman who had warned Nadenka would be able to.

Entering the tent, he walked in and paused.

Why… why was it empty?

Standing there, confused he looked around, searching for some sign when…

“Excuse me.” Someone cleared their throat by the door, and Baal turned to see a young blonde girl standing there with the oddest golden eyes. “Are you looking for someone?”

“The fortune teller.” Baal burst out, frustrated. “Where is she?”

“Fortune teller?” the girl frowned, shook her head. “I’m afraid none came with this circus.” She said gently. “We don’t have anyone on staff who knows how to read fortunes.” She said this as if speaking to a retard, and Baal shook his head.

“No.” he argued. “You have one.” He insisted. “My mistress came here a couple of days ago…”

The girl’s eyes grew guarded, wary as if he was crazy. “Sir.” She said slowly. “I have to ask you to leave.”

What was he supposed to do now?

***

When they returned home, Baal acted like one possessed, moody, grouchy and irritable. But no one commented on it because most were too surprised with the other changes. Casper, and Nadenka. Baal had no one to speak to about this, especially least of all Inga, for while she was Nadenka’s friend, she was only a concubine.

“Baal.” Someone said.

Ah, he had forgotten Akshiel entirely.

“Your Highness.” He said formally, guardedly and she hesitated.

“I…” she strated. “I want to talk to you about something.” She said, confessing her fears and Baal nodded, hesitating as well.

“Should we take to your gardens?” he said slowly, dumbly and she nodded her head, relieved to see him take the lead.

“Yes, lets.”

The walk was slow, silent and uncomfortable. Akshiel had forgotten how to deal with the head eunuch, and Baal… Baal just didn’t’ want to get killed for what he might say. They sat down, or rather, she did and he stood, keeping watch.  They tried small talk, but it didn’t help.

“I’m worried about Nadenka.” Akshiel blurted, and this time it was Baal’s turn to be relieved, to be happy that someone else was taking the first lead.

“So am I.” He said quietly, confessing.

“I call her, but she doesn’t answer.” Akshiel started. “The concubines are scared of her now, and she… she goes by another name. She keeps answering to Anna Maria and no matter what I say…” Akshiel looked uncomfortable. “What happened, while you were away? What made her turn into this?”

Baal shook his just, just as confused and perhaps just as angry. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “She sings, she’s never alone any more and Zamba… Zamba won’t go near her. Something is different. But I can’t think that she’s Anna Maria because…”

“Because no one is this mean.” Akshiel supplied. “I know the woman who houses the soul as Nadenka, I recognize the soul as Anna Maria but something… something is wrong. Evil.”

Baal nodded his head. “I don’t know what to do.” He said quietly, a big admission from the head eunuch. “I feel like…”

Akshiel reached out and held his hands, nodding empathically. “I didn’t think you noticed.” She started. “And now… I don’t know where to go.”

The two sat together in silence, pondering the secrets that they did not notice a figure slip out from Akshiel’s quarters. In the shadows, the tall broad shouldered figure was not missed at all.

Even when he stepped out into the light.

“I.” He interrupted, and Akshiel started.

“Iserlis?” she asked, incredulous and not believing her eyes.

Iserlis cleared his throat. “I.” He began again.

Baal hurriedly straightened. “My lord.” He began, only to see the tall man shake his head.

“I’m going to go for help.” He said quietly, and it was enough to have the two fall silent. “I know where to go… and I’m going to go for help.”

***

Anna Maria watched the shadows play and hummed a little song that had Casper laugh.

“You’re singing our song again.” He said lightly, and she turned, purring into his arms.

“I thought you forgot me.” She said playfully, pouting.

Casper smiled, frowning in a lighthearted sort of way. He was delirious with happiness, and nothing was going to change that, for him. Wrapping his arms around her, she wriggling in surprise and delight and he growled right back.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Hmm” she drawled. “I had to deal with some foolish slaves.” She frowned, remembering the way they had tried to run away. Honestly, didn’t they understand that it hurt her more than them?

He wasn’t listening to her words, however. “I mean it.” He pressed. “I missed you, Anna Maria.”

Understanding now, what dark light had been in her eyes eased as she turned out, her hands placing with the silk of his shirt as she smiled. “I missed you too.” She whispered. “But it’s good to be back.”

Casper chuckled, both of them acting like children who were confident that they would never get caught. “I know.” He said. “I told you I’d bring you back, just for me.”

She nodded her head, and rubbed her nose against his. “Nothing’s going to break us apart again, is it?” she asked.

He smiled. “Nothing.” He promised

***
Inga hurried through the hallways. Once, she would have run towards Anna Maria’s room, but she didn’t consider herself close to this new Nadenka, so she ran straight to Akshiel and Baal. The transformation of the golden eyed woman had brought these three together, closer and so it was to them that she ran, eager to share the news.

“You can’t believe what’s happened!” she squealed, barely in through the door.

Akshiel got up. “Inga.” She admonished lightly. “You don’t know whose listening on the walls!”

Inga looked around, her cheeks stained with excitement. “It doesn’t matter.” She said loudly. “By the time the day is through, everyone is going to know! We have a guest, Akshiel. A man.”

She stressed these words, and Baal looked up, amused. “Inga.” He said. “We have many guests.”

“You don’t understand! He’s from another world and he came with an entourage of two dozen men and women dressed in fine clothes, similar to what he is wearing in muted colors and masks that hide their eyes. They’re tall and small and beautiful and…” she ran out of words. “You should see him, Akshiel. He is beautiful. Tall, with pale skin and the pale green eyes of a wild cat, with black hair that…”

Akshiel smiled. “You sound like you’re in love, Inga.” She said, and Inga smiled, breathless.

“You would be as well! They call him Shy, and no one else will share any news about him!” she suddenly stopped, and Baal, seeing the look on her face stepped forewords.

“Inga?” he prodded. “What is it?”

Inga shivered. “Casper.” She said quietly. “I saw him. He’s polite to the man, but he’s furious…”

The two exchanged glances, and Baal nodded his head. “Why don’t you go see where he’s staying?” he asked, and the moment Inga left the building, he turned to the shadows. “Is this the help you mean?”

Iserlis stepped out, the secret fourth man that Inga knew nothing about. “If it is?” he said quietly.

Akshiel was serious now. “Casper is furious… will he know it’s you?” Iserlis stayed silent, and that was all the answer that Akshiel needed. “Iserlis… you’re turning your brother against you.” She warned.

Iserlis did not answer again, and instead smiled a tight little smile, moving towards the door stiffly. “I guess.” He said. “I have to go face my brother’s wrath.” His tone was oddly ironic, but there was a look of grim determination in his eyes.

***

The moment Iserlis walked into the room, something flew so close to his face, he doubted it was an accident that it missed.

“Brother.” Iserlis began.

“Don’t brother me.” Casper hissed, and there was death in his eyes as he snarled. “How could you do this to me?!”

Iserlis, all pretences forgotten looked up at frowned just as hard, except without that little snarl. “I?” he said. “Do you know how far I went to get you the creature?”

Casper flew forewords, his hands around Iserlis’ throat, just shy of being a choking grasp. “Her name is Anna Maria.” He spat, spittle flying. “Use it.”

“It’s Nadenka.” His hands on Casper’s, his eyes level with both anger and frustration, Iserlis was on the breaking point. “Don’t you understand?”

Casper jumped back, wiping his hands on his trousers as if not wanting to be contaminated by the touch. “She had to die once because of you.” He said, muttering something under his breath. “I’m not going to kill her again because of something you did.”

“Something I did?” Iserlis, tired as the memory came back sank on the ground, looking up beseechingly. “You killed her the last time, and I brought her back as another woman. Casper, the dead are supposed to be left alone. I’m not going to bring her back again.”

A growl escaped Casper, one of frustration, and of the lack of knowledge as to how to proceed. “I’m not going to lose Anna Maria.” Pacing the room and forgetting that Iserlis was in there, his eyes were glazed. “She tried to love you more, and so she had to go… she doesn’t even mention you any more. Things… things will be alright…

Even with him here…”

***

 “My darling, there is no need to be so shy… this place is not what you think it is.”

Casper walked in, wondering who he was talking to and saw one of his creatures sitting before him, docile and looking around a new room. Casper had given him fine quarters, not the best, but this…

“What have you done?” he asked, and Shy looked up, not startled but still bemused by the rudeness of the man.

“I made it comfortable.” He said serenely, as if that was all. “Will you join me for some tea and cakes? I have asked many of the inhabitants to come by. You can be the first.”

His gaze was calm, a little bit suggestive but harmless enough that Casper did not feel threatened. “What are you doing here?”

Shy’s smile still remained, in fact nothing really changed. “To take back what is mine.” But his tone… Casper stiffened. It was both hot and cold at once, and had Casper fear… something. “You abused your privileges, Casper dear. I gave you something precious, and you tampered with my gift.” Clucking his tongue as if he was speaking to a child, Shy got up and walking forewords, slinking into Casper’s personal space. “I don’t like it.”

Casper, still heckled from the previous encounter with Iserlis frowned, not giving up room. “She’s mine to do as I want. I had to kill Anna Maria the first time because she wouldn’t obey me. She was falling for Iserlis and I couldn’t have her go to my brother…” his smile was vicious, expectant. “The magician at Al’ Haazar’s court brought her back to me, and I’m going to keep her.”

Shy frowned. “You brought back…” he let out a small noise, like a mew of frustration. And then, his features eased completely.

“Thank you for having us.”

Casper, if he could have stiffened a bit further, did at that moment as Iserlis walked further into the room, with Anna Maria behind him. Her eyes were wide, and he knew with no doubt that she had heard his last words.

“Anna Maria!” he started, walking forewords only to watch her flinch and hide away from him behind Iserlis. Iserlis! Again!

“You killed me?” there was cold shock in her words. “I climbed my way out of hell for you! I lay dormant in the care of a sadistic bastard only to find out that you killed me? Thinking I loved…” she looked up from where she was standing, and moved away. “So much pain Casper, it’s altered me. And I find out it’s your fault?” She moved away from all of them until they stood in a square.

“Anna Maria.” He started again. “Nadenka.” His voice dropped, cajoling.

“Don’t touch me.” There was pure frenzy in her eyes as she snatched her body away from his grasp. “Nadenka loved you.” She whispered. “And you’ve hurt us both.”

Casper saw the solemn decision in her eyes and knew that he couldn’t fix this. He turned, knowing he couldn’t fight Shy and…

“You! You caused all of this!” Casper screamed. “I’m going to kill you!”

“Don’t you dare!” Nadenka screamed, and he stilled, hesitating. “You think killing one person is going to solve anything, Casper?” her tone was dark, almost evil. It was something Casper had not heard before, but something others had almost seen a glimpse of. It was the darkness that spoke, gleaming from the pendant around her neck. “If you have to kill anyone, why don’t you just kill yourself?” her tone was taunting, mocking.

“Anna Maria.” Casper began, whispering and paling as he realized that she was completely serious.

“It’s not Anna Maria any more.” Casper watched, horribly fascinated as she wrenched off the chain around her neck, threw it on the ground and crushed in under her foot. “It’s Nadenka.”

The moment shoe met pearl, there was a blistering light that seemed to burn the pinprick of the pupil. They all looked away, looking towards Nadenka as a odd screeching sound filled the room.

And watched as Nadenka collapsed.

“Anna Maria!” Casper ran forewords, but someone else was faster. Sliding in between them and picking her up with more strength than his slender body showed, he pulled her away.

“Her name is Nadenka.” He said slowly, coldly furious that someone would dare abuse one of his creatures.

“Give her back!” Casper flung himself forewords, only to have several of Shy’s creatures jump in like a living barrier between them. “Give her back! She’s mine!”

“As you saw.” His voice drawled. “She, wants nothing to do with you.”

“She’ll change her mind.” Casper protested, flinging himself against the bodies and trying to break through.

“She might.” Shy conceded, and Casper relaxed, eager. “But I’m not going to give her that chance.”

As realization dawned, Casper snarled, using his hands to try to wedge himself in between when something black jumped over the heads.

Zamba.

Shy looked down, oddly amused at the little creature. “I had wondered where you’d gone.” He murmured lightly, and looked back up. “You don’t deserve her, Casper.” He turned back to Iserlis. “I think you made a big mistake.”

Iserlis nodded, and Casper looked between them, mad. “What are you talking about? Iserlis, what are you talking about?”

Shy merely smiled that same indisputable smile. “Merely that you never realized just how much your brother loved you.”

“Loved? Loved?!”

Shy shook his head. There was no way of talking sense into that man… “I won’t come back again.” He said. “I won’t let any of my creatures make a mistake of entering this world again.” He was vanishing, quickly and for a odd moment, his eyes fastened on Iserlis once more. “Call me when you’re ready.”

Iserlis nodded his head, but by that time, Shy had vanished.

***

“Is she awake then?” the voice whispered in the darkness, and comforting arms seemed to wrap around her all the more tighter.

“No, not yet. Don’t wake her up, though.” Another voice admonished, and she knew it belonged to the one holding her. The chest rumbled with the words, deep and like a pleasant purr.

“Aww, I wanted to talk to her.” This was a third person, and this time, she knew she had heard the voice some where. “I wanted to apologize…”

Apologize… dimly remembering where she had heard the voice before, Nadenka opened her eyes to see the once fortune teller watching her with a smile.

“Hello Nadenka.” She said easily enough. “I didn’t introduce myself well enough before. My name is Monique, the Oracle.”

***

Shy smiled as she entered the room, glad that she was feeling well enough to walk. “Something to eat?” he asked pleasantly, fixing her a plate. “You look better.”

Nadenka laughed self-consciously. The rooms she had been placed in were large, the bathroom big enough to live in on it’s own, and the bed large enough to drown in. Entering with her hand against the wall for balance and her other hand holding the white robe closed, she looked around, awed.

“Monique told me I was at the Vella Crean.” She said quietly, wincing at the rasping sound of her voice. “How long have I been out?”

“Three days. Sit down.” Came his command, and she did immediately, choosing a large soft seated sofa as her stool. Sinking into it’s depth, she took the plate gratefully, seeing odds and ends placed on it’s surface. “You crushed a stone that had possessed you, giving you half the soul of a woman…” Shy stopped, and shook his head. “I should explain everything from the start.”

Nadenka merely watched him, expectant and he chose a high backed chair for his own support.

“A couple of years ago.” He started slowly, his voice waking lyrics. “I bet Iserlis. I was traveling words, and he came to knew of my skills to gather unusual creatures. He fascinated me, for your Iserlis is a beautiful man… I kept in contact, and then he wrote to me, saying that Anna Maria had died.” He focused on gaze on her, intent. “You are not Anna Maria.” He said softly. “I made you in her image, but the same way a mortal is not God, you are not Anna Maria.

He came to me, saying that she had died and his brother was overcome with grief. I soon was able to find the whole truth, that in truth he had killed her… but even I have a soft spot for romances. Iserlis gave me a lock of Anna Maria’s hair, and I created you. Soon, I sent you to him, making sure that all your memories spent with me would fade with time. You would not be Anna Maria, but you would hold enough of her inside that Casper could start to love you.
I did not know Nadenka, that he had contacted someone else as well, for he was never satisfied. He got the soul of Anna Maria, caught in eternal damnation by the magician and she was… festering. Human souls should never be kept longer than they want to remain, so she grew dark, twisted.
Anna Maria’s genetic information lies within you, which was why her soul managed to possess you so effectively. By her willingly dying, and by you crushing her pearl, you broke a part of your mind that had just merged to form two sentient human beings.

You are fine, physically Nadenka. Soon you will regain your health and former memories. You were close to Monique before, and I did not know that she would join a part of a circus to seek you out. She has the powers of a gifted Oracle. What she says, will come true. I don’t think she realized at the time what she had unleashed.
Iserlis wrote to me again, telling me what Casper had done…”

Nadenka interrupted. “What did the two of you mean, when…”

Shy’s smile was perfect. “He gave me his soul and genetic body in exchange for you. For he did love you, in his own way and he is besotted with his brother.” He shrugged. “He can wait until this life is over, or come before. He knows how to reach me…”

Nadenka shivered, seeing a sinister side to the man… and then she paused. “You.” She whispered. “You were the one who told me to obey…”

Shy’s smile was faint, in response. “I know.” He moved over and rubbed her hair consoling, as if he was petting a pet. “Nadenka, you will be fine… but you destroyed a part of your brain, not your mind and the echo is hollow. I do not want to fix it, because it will subtly change you. You need to have it filled by something else.”

“Filled?” Nadenka asked, breathless. Was this some kind of gross euphenism?

Seeing the thought that had just run through her head, Shy smiled suddenly, a beaming grin. “I don’t go for my own.” He said. And then his gaze narrowed, turning more… considering.

“What do you know of dragons?” he asked.

***
Nadenka’s life on the Vella Crean was, in a sense, peaceful. There was strife here, politics and death at play, but having lived for so long at Casper’s Harem, her sense of normalcy was different. Everything she saw, was something she might have seen back at home in a different form.
She never stopped considering Casper’s Harem as her old home, even though she knew that technically, she had grown up here, in the labs.

“Nadenka.” Monique looked into the room, her golden eyes warming with a smile. “How are you?”

Nadenka smiled back. “Fine, fine.” She murmured.

Shy’s prediction had been right. She had gained back strength, and essentially she was the same as she had been before the possession, except she was dizzy more often, and sometimes she suffered from fainting spells. Humans only used 10 percent of their brains, and even though it was part of the other 90% that had been damaged, she still suffered the effects.

“That’s good.” Monique beamed by the door, walking in. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Surprise?” she asked, a bit vague.

During the stay at the Vella Crean, she had grown close to the Oracle, sensing both her awesome power and friendly disposition. She grew close to other people as well, but like her old life at the Harem, she was a bit of a recluse. She didn’t feel comfortable around Shy’s creatures, thinking of herself as ‘human’ and of them as ‘other.’ At the same time, humans above ground set her off as well, because they were so… normal.

Normal was good, but unnerving.

“Come on.” Tugging her hand, Monique led her down a series of halls. “I know you’ve missed the Harem” she began.

Nadenka smiled briefly, a quirk of the lips. “I don’t know why.” She admitted. “It was for a short time, but…”

“So I built you this!” she completed, throwing open a pair of doors with a wide flourish.

“Oh…my.” Nadenka stepped into the room, the exact replica of her old one, even with the garden at the back.

“Do you like it?” Monique asked, anxious to see her response. “Shy said that this might actually be bad for you, a memory of everything you’ve left behind but…” suddenly unsure of herself, her golden eyes clouded.

Nadenka grinned. “No.” she said quickly. “No, it’s perfect.” She walked in, feeling a pang of loss that she would not see Baal again, or Akshiel. She didn’t even know how they were… but she had already firmly pushed that place out of her mind, and now… “I…”

***

“I didn’t think she would react so strongly.” Monique protested.

Shy sighed. “It’s not your fault.” He said gently. “It was just a coincidence that she suffered a fainting spell just then.”

“But you just said it was the strongest yet. You said she might be in a coma… why don’t you just fix her? It wouldn’t cost you anything.”

Shy nodded his head. “I know.” He frowned. “But I can’t, not yet.” A bit irritated, he looked around. It had been a couple of years since Rugan had come back… or had it only been two? Well, that still counted as a couple. He hated it when time zones moved at different places. “I’m too busy.” He began.

Monique snorted. “You’ve already solved Maramia’s problem. Why can’t you fix her?” for a moment, Monique’s voice clouded. “Her next fainting spells going to put her into a coma, and then she’s never going to wake up. Not unless you rebuild her.”

It was the Oracle talking, and Shy knew this. A bit troubled, he walked around. “You don’t know the forces at play right now.” He murmured lightly. “All my resources are used up trying to keep other people alive.”

He had never thought that one day, he might be playing the good guy. And it was taxing.

“Maybe, maybe I can help.”

Faust was the only one Shy allowed to witness these small skirmishes. It wasn’t that he forgot about him, that he became part of the background, merely that Shy was comfortable enough in his presences that he didn’t try to hide anything.

“What is it?” his voice deepened slightly, enough to give it an age and Faust smiled.

“Send her to the Victory Dance.” He suggested. “There are going to be plenty of dragons there soon, and surely one of them will bond with her.”

Shy smirked. That had been part of his plans, to send her off… but it had been in the future. He felt protective over her, almost a bit guilty. She had been abused because he hadn’t kept such a close watch.

“Well” he began, thoughtful.

“And didn’t you say Iserlis was going to arrive soon? You do want to keep those two apart, at least for a little while?”

Shy nodded. “I need to tamper with Iserlis a bit first, before he sees her. He might change his mind once he sees that she’s fine.”

Faust smiled, tsking a bit. “Humans.” He chided.

Shy agreed whole-heartedly. His creatures were so much more satisfying.

“Well?” Monique asked. “Aren’t you going to send her?” she was impatient, and worried about her friend. Who knew when the next spell would come?

Shy smiled, teasing. “Does the Oracle have anything to say?”

Monique’s eyes narrowed. “If you don’t make your decision soon” she started, and Shy smothered a laugh.

“Come, Faust.” He said, walking over and slipping his arm around the other man’s waist. “We will go together, and tell the girl the good news… I don’t believe we should escort her, because of…” he waved his hand, as if that explained everything, and the bald man giggled.

“Oh, I agree.” He drawled. “Mustn’t give them the wrong impression. She shall go the way she is. You made her human enough that her eyes don’t gleam gold unless she’s… well…” he giggled, embarrassed that he might say the H word. “And in that situation, I hope no ones thinking clearly enough to notice.”

“I always think clearly when I’m like that.” Shy proclaimed loudly.

Faust arched a brow. “Really?” he purred. “The last time…”

If the scientist could blush, he might have. “She will go then.” He said, not changing the subject, but deciding to save it for when Monique wasn’t in the room. She was getting angry that they were talking like that in front of her. “As herself. In her harem clothes and her hair piled up and when asked, she will say that she is from…”

“The Old World.” Monique supplied, and nodded her head.

***

It happened, almost exactly like that. They accepted her as a candidate because she had potential, and while Nadenka did not understand just exactly why she had to hide her relationship with the Vella Crean and Shy, she decided it was fun. After all, why wouldn’t it be?

So she arrived, dressed in bright vibrant colors that spoke of the middle east, and for a moment she was beautiful and mysterious, her voice accented a bit and trunks of clothing and perfume arriving behind her. She was exotic in a typical way, but still, she was entertainment for a little while.

She proved though, that she was also candidate material. She had a good base knowledge of dragons (saying that there were dragons in her old world, of course) and she didn’t mind working hard as long as she was rewarded by the end of it.

And yes, it was true. Riders and candidates caught her eye, and sometimes she caught their eyes. It was those times that they would sneak away, and she would seduce them the way Casper had once seduced her, using food and words and lingering glances in public places.

And only then would they see her eyes gleam that molten gold, and while they would wonder…

Well, the next morning they would forget about it, pushing it aside as a mere trick of the light. If people can say anything while in bed with each other, why couldn’t they see anything as well?

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws