I think it was a dream or nightmare. I think…… Please, someone tell me that the discussion below did not actually take place.

Karen Holbrook: “Coach Tressel I have called you in here to discuss the deportment of your young men on our most recent Fund Raising Saturday.”

Coach Tressel: “Gee, great! I thought we put forth an extraordinary effort. No doubt about it.”

Holbrook: “Coach Tressel, to say the very least, I am upset with you and the young men you direct for the most un-welcoming manner in which they treated the Hawkeyes. I’m doing all that I can to change the culture here at Ohio State and to provide a welcoming atmosphere for our guests. I was busy, in my suite, discussing my new pay raise, when I happened to glance out the window and see the way your ruffians were treating those boys from Iowa. It was just so disrespectful.”

Tressel: “Our young people are improving, but we still need to continue to improve.”

Holbrook: “Why you hardly let the Iowa boys play with the ball at all; have you not taught the team to share? And your treatment of that poor Drew Tate was just disgraceful. That poor fellow was so frustrated that he was throwing his head protector. When our young men had the ball they just rudely ran right over the boys from Iowa. When they played catch with the ball, they threw it so that the Iowa boys never even got to touch the ball. I ask you, is that, in any way, welcoming? And only letting them have three points after they came all the way from Iowa, why that is just wrong. That is not the way I want my university to present itself on Fund Raising Saturdays.

Tressel: I think our defense is good and, if they continue to get better, could be one of those extraordinary defenses that you talk about in years to come."

Holbrook: I am really getting fed up. It becomes so noisy up in my suite. Does the band have to play so loudly? And they keep getting the rabble, sitting in down the stadium, stirred up. Is that really necessary? One can hardly carry on a civil conversation.

Tressel: Teams and families and communities or churches or whatever are built on relationships.

Holbrook: Are you listening to me? Its not like I don’t already have my hands full on Fund Raising Saturdays. What with trying to change the culture and arresting all the alumni. If those riff-raff would just think about all the money I’m saving them by not allowing them to drink, they could increase their donations to the university, and perhaps I would receive a more substantial and more appropriate pay increase We only have three more Fund Raising Saturdays left this year, and I really want to see improvement in the way we treat our guests.”

Well, it may have been a dream, but it still creeped me out. I need to stop eating those pizzas before I go to sleep.

Otherwise, what a great weekend! Buckeyes win, Weasels lose – what more can we ask. I know we should be rooting for the Weasels, especially since we don’t play Wisconsin. I just can’t do it. My rationalization is we recruit against the Weasels, so anytime they look bad it’s a bonus for the Bucks. Even the most logical among us must admit to at least a smile when Henne fell on his butt to end the game in defeat. A Kodak Moment of sorts. Louisville left the national championship race in a dramatic fashion. Losing to a team most people never heard by a score of 45-14 is going to set that program back for years. OK, who knows in what city South Florida is located? What is their mascot? Name either their coach or a single player. Who knows, who cares – it just means one of the teams ahead of us has fallen. Though, and I’m just guessing here, it must have been one hell of a party Coach Petrino’s boys attended Friday night to play that poorly on Saturday. Monday night LSU came completely unglued in blowing a 24-7 4^th quarter lead at home to lose in overtime to Tennessee. Fat Phil helps the Buckeye cause by knocking another from the ranks of the undefeated. USC teased us for a half, before destroying Oregon on the road. I must admit the Hokies were impressive in their making a wreck, rambling or otherwise, of Georgia Tech. Purdue ended their run at the Big Ten championship right on schedule with an OT loss to Minnesota in the conference opener.

Though the Buckeyes take a week off, there are plenty of other games to focus on.

Notre Dame visits Purdue. In the No Good Deed Goes Un-punished category, wasn’t that nice of Charlie Weiss to let a terminally ill kid call the first play last week. Now, unfortunately, every subway alum with the sniffles has been faxing plays to Charlie. The Boilermakers got their annual choke out of the way, so I like them to rebound at home and handle the Irish. In the Pretender Bowl, Chrissie Hynde will sing the national anthem before unbeaten Minnesota and Penn State square off. Despite strong efforts to the contrary, one team will have to win this one. It will, however, Jbe the last game either of them wins for a while. I like the Gophers to win, then lose 5 of their next 6 games. The Brittany Lions just start the losing a week earlier. Joe Pa has 7 games left this year (and perhaps in his illustrious and far too lengthy career) of which he should lose 6. Right now the Penn State loyalists think they’re back. After losing to Minnesota, they will begin to doubt. When the Buckeyes are finished with them in two weeks they will know they are back Back in the battle with the Indiana Loosiers and Illinois for the Big Ten basement. By the way, I am still waiting for suggestions for the new, politically correct, Illinois mascot. . The Spartans will host the 2-2 Weasels. It has been pretty obvious that the MSU has been playing better football this year. On the other hand Lloyd and the boys with the butt-ugly helmets really have their backs to the wall. The Spartans know they let one get away from them in AA last year. Home field, Drew Stanton is healthy, Lloyd still coaching the Weasels, yep the signs point to a Michigan State victory. I think it is OK for us to pull for another Weasel defeat if we all promise to call Detroit radio stations in support of Lloyd after the game. The natives are getting restless in the land of Blue, having lost 4 of the last 6 games(this would make 5 out of 7). Lloyd needs our support and we need Lloyd. Florida plays an unbeaten Alabama team. I don’t think Bama is good enough to handle the Urban Gators, but it is the biggest game in several years for the Tide and the home crowd should be a factor. So will coaching, and the Tide, sadly, has Little Shula. Either way another way another unbeaten bites the dust. VA Tech travels to Morgantown to face the Mountaineers in the Jeff Foxworthy Bowl. If you attend this game you just might be a redneck. If the Hokies don’t win by two touchdowns it just might be an upset.

USC
Texas
Florida
VA Tech
Florida State