Thanks for coming Illini, enjoy the home version of “We Kicked Your Butt in the Shoe”.  Now let’s welcome our next contestant,  the Wildcats from Northwestern – come on down. The Wildcats are fresh off a lucky comeback win over Iowa after completely embarrassing themselves and all things purple, the week prior.   

                Last week was fun.  Just like the good old days.  Oh, I know the first half was little tedious with the way the offense sputtered a bit.  The Illinois offense came about as close to scoring as did Mother Teresa’s prom date.  Josh Huston’s second field goal essentially put the game out of reach.  Speaking of Josh Huston… 16 straight touch backs.  That is phenomenal!  46 out of 50 all season long.  If he can keep this up will may have to recognize him as the  greatest Buckeye Kicker Offer of all time?  Though I don’t know his stats, Tom Skladany may disagree.  To me there is one glaring reason the offense has improved and that is the O-line.  Not that Troy has not improved, because he has, but it is the big uglies up front who have allowed this growth to occur. .  At the start of the season we expected big things from them and now they are flat out getting it done.  They open holes for Pittman, who is running like I expect an OSU tailback to run.  They give Troy time and when he has time he seems to be the best QB in the Big Ten. Now, that being said, the defenses they have been playing lately remind no one of the 85 Bears. Still, if the big fellas can keep this up for two more games they get to wear Big Ten Championship rings.  I know the defense will deliver and if we can get that kind of production from the offense, we definitely win out. 

                Penn State eliminated Wisconsin from the Big Ten title chase, at least for the moment. Now we have the Nits and Buckeyes tied in the loss column and various other folks lurking with two losses.  Penn State is idle this week before playing the psycho-Spartans, who were kind enough, last week, to let Purdue get their first conference win of 2005.  Does anyone understand the Spartans?  Haven’t they been forever erratic?    No matter who is coaching they can be great for half the season and fall completely apart in the next half.  After beating Notre Dame in South Bend this team is still not bowl eligible.  They have Minnesota this week and finish with Penn State.  I’m hoping they continue their death spiral this week and awaken next week, just in time to upset Joe Pa’s dream.  Stranger things have happened and plenty of strange things have happened with the Spartans.  Need I remind anyone of 1998. 

                Around the country last week UCLA fell and I mean plummeted from the ranks of the unbeaten by getting pasted by Arizona.  Tennessee continued their descent into the muck by losing to Notre Dame.  Miami handled VA Tech with surprising ease and made the good folks at the BCS feel a lot better.  No one seems to think Alabama can run the table and their game with LSU this week may just prove that point.  Bobby Bowden and the Seminoles lost to their old assistant coach Chuck Amato and NC State.  I’m sorry to have missed that one; now I won’t know what coach has the dumbest looking sunglasses in all of college football. 

                No team in the Big Ten, with one obvious exception, irritates me as does Northwestern.  We probably should all be proud that in our conference we have a team with lofty academics, who can once in a while have a very good football team.  It’s the once in a while part which gets me.  At least with MSU once their slide begins they are on it for a while.  With NW you never know what you are going to get.  They win by 40 in East Lansing and then the next week, at home, they surrender faster than the French army against the Weasels.  When they beat us in Evanston last year, we had no reason whatsoever to think they would be worth damn.  Fortunately the game this year is in The Shoe and it is the last appearance of an illustrious group of seniors.  I hope  revenge is on their mind, because it certainly is on mine.  I remember last year, trying to get on the El to leave Evanston and having to tolerate drunk and obnoxious NW fans running amuck. They don’t have much experience celebrating big wins and it showed.   They had torn down their goal posts, as it was the first time they had beaten us in Evanston since the great fire.  They got them down, but then didn’t quite know what to do or where to go with them.  Last I saw they had decided they couldn’t get them on the train.  As we pulled out of the station we watched as a bunch of international students whipped out their calculators and tried to figure out the molecular density of the posts.  Geeks, you know who you are, back in the library where you belong.   The keys this year seem to be don’t turn the ball over and pressure their QB. They lead the Big Ten causing turnovers. Remember the problems #13 had up there a few years ago?  The Wildcats survive by the turnovers because their defense is last.  Last, not in the league, but last in the NCAA.  Their offense, however, is for real.  The problem is that Basenez is extremely hard to sack (only 5 times all season).   He’s mobile, and smart.  They throw quick short passes and have a good running game with Tyrell Sutton, an Ohio kid with something to prove.    I don’t want to pressure the QB I want to knock his head clear off.  I want him looking out his earhole all afternoon.  I want him on intimate terms with Misters Kudlea and Carpenter.  I want him to know what AJ had for breakfast.  This is absurd that I have to be worried about Northwestern.  We need to re-establish the food chain in the Big Ten. The Weasels did their part two weeks ago, now it is our turn to remind the Wildcats that they are here for academics and that’s it.  

Around the Big Ten the Weasels, after taking a week off to rest up, play the IU Loosiers. What better way for coach Terry Hoepner to announce his arrival than to upset the Weasels in Ann Arbor?  Not likely. 

                In other games I think Bama hangs on at home at LSU.  USC rolls over Cal. Florida visits Coach Superior and his bowl-eligible Gamecocks.  The Gators are a bit too talented, but it should be a fun game.  Think Urban Meyer feels any pressure?  Tennessee will try to cling to some small shred of self-respect when they play a 4-4 Memphis team.  If Fulmer loses this one he may be done, but he won’t.  Florida State at Clemson and Auburn at Georgia.  Why don’t I care?  Three of the competing teams are pretty good, only Clemson at 5-4 has more than two losses.  If Tommy Tubberville had not mouthed off about the undo influence ESPN has on college football, I might have lapsed into the condition where I can not discern Tubberville from Little Bowden of Clemson.  Sadly Tubberville’s tirade was not racist enough to make headlines last week.  I’m sure the TV guys will be all over the Bowden vs Bowden aspect of the FSU-Clemson game.  That was cute the first time, but if I see on more clip with Mama Bowden sweating over divided loyalties I may hurl chunks.   Relax lady, your husband is old and rich and your son is making over a million a year.  Things are OK, really!

                Pro Sports perplex me.  On the one hand we have Terrell Owens getting suspended (rightfully so and long overdue) for essentially being a lousy teammate.  On the other hand we have to two Carolina Panther cheerleaders being kicked off the team for having sex with one another in a restroom at a nightclub.  Do we want teammates to get along or not?  Seems like sort of a  mixed message there. 

 

                Our Buckeyes win big and we say a very fond farewell to our seniors.  Take a look at the names below.  I don’t recall any of them, ever being mentioned in any of our all too well-documented off the field problems.  Also, it would be interesting to know the collective GPA of this group.  I would imagine it would be stellar.  And of course as you review this list you’ll come across some damn fine football players.  All things considered I guess you’d just have to say they are truly Buckeyes.  Thanks guys, let’s make your last game in the Shoe a great one.  And Buckeye fans, lets be thinking of these guys as we cheer the team on to victory and even more  when we join with them one last time, to sing Carmen Ohio.

Bobby Carpenter                                                 Rob Harley

AJ Hawk                                                                               Brandon Schnittker                   

Mike Kudlea                                                                         Steve Winner

Nate Salley                                                                           Andrew Tyree

Anthony Schlaegel                                                              Marcus Green

Robbie Sims                                                                         John Conroy

Nick Mangold                                                      Tyler Everett

Josh Huston                                                                         Ryan Hamby