You Computer Ties

Things you might hear an older person say.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the little girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Some more about bob

As a kid I played the trumpet. Played it for four years in the high school band. I also played basketball in high school and for many years after. Also played some slow pitch softball after high school. I played semi pro (so called) football for one year. Friends talked me into that.I also did a lot of bowling. But unless you are from New England you may never have heard of candlepin bowling. They have tall skinny pins and a small ball with no holes in it. If you could average 110 to 120 you were a real good bowler. My average was 105. Not to bad.    My first car was a 1947 ford convertible. Next car was a 1953 chevy convertible. Then I went to a 1957 chevy convertible. My last convertible was a 1964 super sport chevy. Then I settled down for a while. After a few years I went to motorcycles. They were all Hondas, because there was a Honda dealer in town. And I liked the first ones I had. (No oil leaks) I started with a 360, then a 550, then a 750 and ended up with a gold wing. Sold the gold wing when we moved to Arkansas  eleven years ago. Now I have four wheels under me at all times.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.    Work is good but it's not important. If you wake up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him." So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay...."