\n";
}
}
function preview(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Preview/save the document.");
}
else {
temp = document.editor.area.value;
preWindow= open("", "preWindow","status=no,toolbar=no,menubar=yes");
preWindow.document.open();
preWindow.document.write(temp);
preWindow.document.close();
}
}
function bold() {
if (helpstat) {
alert("Bold text.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "";
}
}
}
function italic() {
if (helpstat) {
alert("Italicizes text.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "";
}
}
}
function underline(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Underlines text.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "";
}
}
}
function pre(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Sets text as preformatted.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
";
}
}
}
function center(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Centers text.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "";
}
}
}
function hbar(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a horizontal bar.");
}
else {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
function lbreak(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Makes a new line, the equivalent of return or enter.");
}
else {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
function pbreak(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Makes two new lines, the equivalent of two returns or enters.");
}
else {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
function image(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function aleft(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image with align left.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt){
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function aright(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image with align right.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function atop(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image with align top.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function amid(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image with align middle.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function abottom(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts an image with align bottom.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Image location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
}
}
function head1(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 1 (largest size).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function head2(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 2 (slightly smaller than 1).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function head3(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 3 (slightly smaller than 2).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function head4(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 4 (slightly smaller than 3).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function head5(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 5 (slightly smaller than 4).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function head6(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates a header, size 6 (smallest size).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
" + twrite + "
\n";
}
}
}
function linkopen(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Begins a link.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("File location?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '';
for(;;){
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != "" && twrite != null){
break;
}
else {
prompt("You must enter the link text.",'Ok, sorry.');
}
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + twrite + '\n';
}
}
}
function linktext(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Inserts the text for a link.");
}
else if (basic) {
for(;;){
twrite = prompt("Text?",'');
if (twrite != "" && twrite != null){
break;
}
else {
prompt("You must enter the link text.",'Ok, sorry.');
}
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + twrite + '\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function linkclose(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Closes a link.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function anchor(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Sets an anchor (e.g. #here).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '
\n';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Anchor name?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != ""){
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '\n';
}
}
}
function orderopen(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Starts an ordered list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
for(i=1;;i++){
twrite = prompt("Item " + i + "? (Blank entry stops.)",'');
if (twrite == "" || twrite == null){
break;
}
if (i == 1){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "\n";
okeydokey = 1;
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- " + twrite + "\n";
}
if (okeydokey) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
}
function li(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates an item in a list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- ";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function orderclose(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Closes an ordered list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function unorderopen(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Starts an unordered list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
else if (stprompt) {
for(i=1;;i++){
twrite = prompt("Item " + i + "? (Blank entry stops.)",'');
if (twrite == "" || twrite == null){
break;
}
if (i == 1){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "\n";
okeydokey = 1;
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- " + twrite + "\n";
}
if (okeydokey) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
}
function unorderclose(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Closes an unordered list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function defopen(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Starts a definition list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
else if (stprompt) {
for(i=1;;i++){
twrite = prompt("Term " + i + "? (Blank entry stops.)",'');
if (twrite == "" || twrite == null){
break;
}
if (i == 1) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "\n";
okeydokey = 1;
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- " + twrite + "
\n";
twrite = prompt("Definition" + i + "? (Blank entry stops.)",'');
if (twrite == "" || twrite == null){
break;
}
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- " + twrite + "
- \n";
}
if (okeydokey){
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
\n";
}
}
}
function defterm(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates the term in a definition.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "- ";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function define(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Creates the definition.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "
- ";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function defclose(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Closes a defeinition list.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
else if (stprompt) {
alert("Not used in prompt mode.");
}
}
function font(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Sets the font.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Font?",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != "") {
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '';
}
}
}
function fontcolor(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Sets the font color.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '';
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Color? (hex or name)",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != "") {
twrite = '"' + twrite + '"';
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + '';
}
}
}
function fontsize(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Sets the font size (a number 1-7, or +2, -3, etc.).");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "font size=>";
}
else if (stprompt) {
twrite = prompt("Size? (e.g. 1, +5, -2, etc.)",'');
if (twrite != null && twrite != "") {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
}
}
function fontclose(){
if (helpstat) {
alert("Closes the font changes.");
}
else if (basic) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
else if (stprompt) {
document.editor.area.value = document.editor.area.value + "";
}
}
// --> De-Hide
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A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddently she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home...Please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset...Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!" |
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