"The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has--I'm not kidding"

"It was pretty depressing. I'm not too crazy about sick people, anyway."

"'Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.'
'Yes, sire. I know it is. I know it'Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game."

"That's something that drives me crazy. When people say something twice that way, after you admit it the first time."

"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life."

"I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot."

My brother gave me a book by Ring Lardner for my birthday, just before I went to Pencey. It had these very funny, crazy plays in it, and then it had this one story about a traffic cop that falls in love with this very cute girl that's always speeding. Only, he's married, the cop, so he can't marry her or anything. Then this girl gets killed, because she's always speeding. That story just about killed me. What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while."

"I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood."

"He always brought out the old sadist in me."

"The reason he fixed himself up to look good was because he was madly in love with himself. He thought he was the handsomest guy in the western hemisphere. He was pretty handsome, too--I'll admit it."

"I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead."

"I don't mean I'm oversexed or anything like that--although I am quite sexy."

"Sex is something I just don't understand. I swear to God I don't."

"In New York, boy, money really ralks--I'm not kidding,"

"I can't sit in a corny place like this cold sober."

"What he was doing, he was giving her a feel under the table, and at the same time telling her all about some guy in his dorm that had eaten a whole bottle of aspirin and nearly committed suicide. His date kept sayin to him, 'How horrible...Don't, darling. Please, don't. Not here.' Imagine giving somebody a feel and telling them about a guy committing suicide at the same tired! They killed me."

"People are always ruining things for you."

"'Okay,' I said. It was against my principles and all, but I was feeling so depressed I didn't even think. That's the whole trouble. When you're feeling very depressed, you can't even think."

"The thing is, most of the time when you're coming pretty close to doing it with a girl--a girl that isn't a prostitute or anything, I mean--she keeps telling you to stop. The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don't. I can't help it. You never know whether they really want you to stop, or whether they're just scared as hell, or whether they're just telling you to stop so that if you do go throught with it, the blame'll be on your, not them. Anyway, I keep stopping. THe trouble is, I get to feeling sorry for them. I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains. You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains."

"The goddamn movies. They can ruin you. I'm not kidding.

"My big trouble is, I always sort of think whoever I'm neckign is a pretty intelligent person. I hatsn't got a goddam thing to do with it, but I keep thinking it anyway."

"The funny part is, I felt like marrying her the minute I saw her. I'm crazy. I didn't even like her much, and yet all of a sudden I felt like I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. I swear to God I'm crazy. I admit it."

"If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?"

"She kept walkking ahead of me, so that i'd see how cute her little ass looked. It did look pretty cute, too. I'll have to admit it."

"Then I sort of started lighting matches. I do that quite a lot when I'm in a certain mood. I sort of let them burn down till I can't hold them any more, then I drop them in the ashtray. It's a nervous habit."

"And all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac someday, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques."

"She told Roverta he was too conceited--and the reason she thought he was conceited was because he happened to mention to her that he was captain of the debating team. A little thinglike that, and she thought he was conceited! The trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, njo matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited. Even smart girls do it."

"Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will."

"Maybe I'll go to China. My sex life is lousy."

"I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody."

"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."

"It'f funny. You take adults, they look lousy when they're asleep and they have their mouths way open, but kids don't. Kids look all right> They can even have spit all over the pillow and they still look all right."

"The trouble with me is, I like when somebody digresses. It's more interesting and all."

"I didn't cut any classes. You weren't allowed to cut any. There were a couple of them I didn't attend once in a while, like that Oral Expression I told you about, but I didn't cut any."

"People are mostly hot to have a discussion when you're not."

"Just someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."

"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck You' signs in the world. It's impossible"

"It's funny. Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, You start missing everybody."