Moogle Wars

The Rydersonthestorm were becoming desperate. The food stores had been quickly depleted in Jeuno and the only thing left to eat was fish. Pugils and Crabs from Qufim and any fish caught from the cliffs there. While the mithra were happy, the rest of the Ryders were beginning to wonder what worm and Gigas meat tasted like. Vorkosigan had barricaded himself in his mog and would shout at dinnertime, �Bring the King some meats!� Of course, they brought fish and he would cry. Nozeate had bought all the smithing materials in the first week and so had nothing left to craft. He had taken to selling snowman kits in Qufim. Zapata, ashamed and feeling guilty, hid in the Armor shop, since no one ever went there.

Songbird�s plight was even worse. While she was making a fortune off the magicite jewelry, she felt like a babysitter, with all the Ryders as her charges. Citizens of Jeuno were complaining about the noise, gambling, drinking (more melon juice), and general raucous caused by the Adventurers. While Songbird agreed it couldn�t continue, what could she do about it? She couldn�t send the Ryders away, there was no where else to go.

Erinya had become obsessed with finding a plan to defeat the moogles. The manthra would sit for hours staring at papers and maps until he passed out; only to wake and repeat the process. {Enemy}anubis stayed ever by his side. Sephy had disappeared so Racktu had taken his place as Erinya�s chief advisor. Nothing further had been heard of Cem, though it was rumored he was somewhere near Windurst. Nothing had been heard of Dratian and the Mithra Paladin goddess either.

In the Hall of the gods, Dratian was getting very bored. If he heard that mithra say- and it happened. �Oh, my face is so beautiful.� Dratian couldn�t take it anymore. He put on his gloves and used {Asuran Fist} on all the mirrors. The Mithra Paladin goddess stared at him for a bit, then said, �What are we doing? Songie needs us.� She raced out of the Hall, sweeping aside the magicite. Dratian followed close on her heels. They battled their way to Jeuno and arrived in triumph at the Port Jeuno bridge.

Suddenly the Ryders were invigorated. Erinya and Racktu were able to come up with a solid plan, even though {Enemy}anubis continued to point out all its flaws.

The first step of the plan was to get the Galka out of Bastok on onto the battlefield. This dangerous mission they assigned to Racktu, since he was Galka. He headed out immediately. The next part required the main force to move to Windurst and wait with a brigade of battleships while a small party infiltrated San d�Oria. The whole thing was to be financed by Nozeate, as he was the only Ryder left with gil (Songbird had explained that her money was all tied up in AH deals). As for Cem, Elfor promised he would handle that and meet up with the main fleet in Windust. With the plan set, the Rydersonthestorm begin to make their move.

Vorkosigan was placed in charge of the main force; he was, after all, the Ryders chosen champion. Erinya took charge of the smaller force, all mithra and one galka, heading into San d�Oria. Zapata slipped in the back of Vorkosigan�s party and went off unnoticed. {Enemy}anubis simply slipped off all together.

Elfor borrowed the Mithra Paladin goddess� chocobo, Kettle, the fastest in the fleet, and headed out to Giddeous. With the Yagudo defeated and erased by the Ryders many years before, {Enemy} had turned it into Euro{Enemy}, a barren wasteland where no one ever roamed. Showing just how much of a hero he truly was, Elfor had Kettle wait for him at the entrance, something no other chocobo had ever done or could ever do! Elfor slipped into Euro{Enemy} and climbed up the nearest building. He kept to the upper layer, spying out for Cem. He found him in plain sight, sitting in the river near the entrance. Suspicious, since that seemed very easy, and pleased that it was so easy, Elfor hopped down and headed for Cem. He was passed out, and Elfor could see why; the moogles had removed Cem�s shoes and had been tickling him with the left over Yagudo feathers until he passed out. Elfor quickly chewed through Cem�s bonds and slapped him to wake him up. Cem moaned and peeked at him.

�You�re rescued, let�s go.�

He was a little concerned about pursuit, but it seemed Cem had been abandoned in a hurry. While that seemed even more suspicious, Elfor didn�t have time to worry about it. Upon seeing the Chocobo, Cem tried claim it.

�I don�t think so, I was given this chocobo to use personally by the Mithra Paladin goddess.�

�But, but, but Windurst is far away! How will I get there?�

Elfor narrowed his eyes, �It�s right over there, run or walk.�

�RUN?!?! Wait, I�ll go as high as 4k for that chocobo!�

But Elfor was already seated on Kettle and running off to meet up with the airship fleet.

Erinya and the other Mithra arrived at the walls as San d�Oria just as Elfor began his race to Windurst. They had killed everything that moved along the way and so had taken four times as long to get to San d�Oria. Parties were quickly reformed so that each group was well taken care of mage~wise.

The Mithra quickly changed clothes, changing into their �Leia-slave-girl� outfits. Their plan was to pose as slaves sent by Vorkosigan as a show of good faith with a petition to be allowed to become king of Jeuno if he helped the Moogle Emperor invade it. Pappaschue was the one supposedly delivering them, and so herded them to the West Ronfaure gate. Distracted by the mithra, the moogles let Pappa in with his charges. They were escorted to the Moogle Emperor�s throne room at once. To their horror, they found {Enemy}anubis sitting at his side. For one second they all started at {Enemy} in horror, then Erinya hissed and the mithra broke their chains and attacked the moogles. {Enemy} sat and laughed at them.

Not realizing their entire plan was known the moogles, Vorkosigan lead the fleet to Windurst where he welcomed Cem to the force. The fleet took on supplies and then headed on to San d�Oria. Dratian, Shadowknight, Zoolander, Deshae, and Simian were the main captains of the force and each had an airship under their command. This meant that Dratian�s was the first ship to arrive followed by Shadowknight, Zoolander�s ship stopped to �admire� any female it passed, and Simian�s monkey driving held up Deshae. Eventually they all met up with Vorkosigan�s flagship hovering over La Thiene Plateau. Once they were all together and focused, the ships moved on San d�Oria.

They expected the main defenses to be down, as that�s what the mithra were supposed to do. They arrived in front of San d�Oria to discover that they were not. Volley after volley of cannon fire came at the ships and the captains were forced into evasive maneuvers . . . which meant they got tangled up with one another and got hit like sitting ducks. Shadowknight was heard to yell, �I blame Simian�s monkey driving!�

The mithra and Pappa were doing their best to get a hold of the moogle defenders and stop them, but they were overwhelmed by the amount of tiny moogles flying everywhere. Just as Pappa sat on one, four more flew at him and pulled on his hair and bit his tail. The mithra were pouncing left and right but it seemed they would be overwhelmed.

Just then, the castle wall crashed in and the Galka appeared, led by Racktu. He was wearing a pretty green tutu, as the only way he could convince the Galka to come was to make them believe it was all part of some greater ballet. Erinya sent the Galka to destroy the cannons and continued pouncing on moogles, aiming for the Moogle Emperor.

Slowly the cannons stopped firing on the airships and the Ryder captains were able to take the offensive. Only to realize the airships had nothing to fire with. In the second most courageous act of Rydersonthestorm History (the first being Vorkosigan wearing subligar), Shadowknight rammed his airship into the moogle stronghold. Thinking, �how cool is this!� Zoolander followed suit, as did the other captains.

Zapata, who has stowed away on Dratian�s airship, leapt from the wreckage and gave a mighty battle cry. The Ryders stumbling from the airships followed his shout into battle, attacking the moogles. After this day, General Zapata was known one of the greatest Hero�s of Rydersonthestorm. (Not to diminish his title, but most of the Ryders considered themselves hero�s after the battle, so his title was not unique.) The Mithra emerged from the castle to help fight as the Galka came down from the walls. Erinya had the Moogle Emperor in her mouth and was shaking him repeatedly, the Mithra Paladin goddess had {Enemy}anubis by his ears and was shaking him shouting, �Bad Tarutaru! No pies for you!�

Once everyone was calmed down, the Ryders realized they had won! No longer would the oppression of the Moogle Emperor rule the lives of the Adventurers! They had also destroyed most of San d�Oria. Vorkosigan claimed he didn�t care, it was still the only place with a real castle, and ordered the city be rebuilt. He, of course, waited on his throne, once again King of Vana�diel.

The Moogle Emperor was never seen again. It was said he was sent to live in Garliage Citadel but certain people knew that Erinya had held a BBQ in celebration and the main dish had been sporting little wings. Only Galka and Mithra had been invited.

The Ryders once again spread out, Songbird and Nozeate staying in Jeuno where they could toy with AH prices and enjoy their great fortunes. Dratian and the Mithra Paladin goddess returned there as well. The Mithra Paladin goddess (who changed her name to Muurr as she hated typing that title over and over) gave Songbird {Enemy}anubis to be her own Tarutaru, as long as he was kept well fed and locked up. Zapata found a pretty little hume female and married her, quickly, as he knew he was to have 14 children. Erinya retired from leadership roles (as the she was tired of writing lsmes) and kept several moogles to feed her small fishies. Elfor returned to the rotting Euro {Enemy} and bought it for a steal. He was able to turn it into a lovely resort and spa. Racktu, having discovered his inner-Galka, returned with them to Bastok to dance in the Galka Ballet. Pappa, forever haunted by the site of the few �slave-girl� manthras, ran off and was never heard from again. Deshae spent the rest of his life trying to teach Simian how to drive properly.

Life was once again perfect in Vana�diel with only CGF, MPKers, and bad nins, plds, and whm to discuss. Making this truly . . . The end. =^_^=