Moogle Wars

The former Moogle Emperor had been plotting his revenge on then rydersonthestorm linkshell for little over two years. As the Ryders had forgotten that moogles seemed to make it to strange places, they had assumed the ex-emperor would have no outside contact. On the contrary he had been secretly preparing for the demise of the world the Ryders had created.

In windy, the moogles had been hard at work for 18 months. They had managed to get on the board of {Enemy} Company and were quickly running it into the ground. {Enemy}anubis was beside himself with {/panic}. How could he continue to run his park? How could he continue to sell his suits? How, how, how could he possibly save the failing Euro{Enemy}??? The secret moogles on the board of directors (using names such as �Secretmember�, �Youdontknowme�, and �Hehehehe�) had been carefully forcing decisions so that the eventual collapse would happen, destroying the mighty {Enemy}anubis and making him useless to the Rydersonthestorm. Their luck turned even more in their favor when {Enemy} in desperation remembered that the moogles had taken all the Adventurers money and were, consequently, rich. He applied to them for a loan to save {Enemy} Company. In return, he had to join the moogle-side of the battle. Pleased (and just a little distraught) {Enemy}anubis became a secret moogle! On the eve of battle, the moogles once again held Windurst under their control.

In the far reaches of the Jungles, the moogles had been working for an equal amount of time. They had encouraged the spawn of goblins with plenty of Goblin Chocolate. This meant that the Adventurers were continuously aggroed and killed by the increasing numbers of Goblins. As the economy and population was only just beginning to recover (and there were only so many Ryders and they couldn�t possibly guard the jungles forever) the poor Adventurers were forced to stop coming to the jungles to level. This meant the Goblins became agitated with no one to kill and they eventually started harassing the mithra of Kahzam. With their delicate balance upset, the mithra were no longer able to operate the airships in a normal timetable and, consequently, upset the entire schedule of Vana�diel.

On a special day (special for sentimental reasons to the Emperor which shall not be discussed in this narrative) the Moogle Emperor gave the word and the true revenge began!

In Bastok, moogles infiltrated the crowd watching a particularly moving ballet by the Galka. As the renowned Galka ballerina, Shark Teeth, began his dance across the stage, the moogles began booing as loud as they could. They continued to boo throughout the ballet, the rest of the performances, and any Galka ballerina they saw walking past. The Galka were crushed; their egos destroyed and their self-confidence left in pieces. They swept every last visitor out of the city and locked its gates. While this meant that the moogles did not have control, it also meant no reinforcements would be coming from the Galka.

Simultaneously, the moogles began an assault of Jeuno. Duchess Songbird sent word to Dratian and the paladin mithra goddess in the Hall of the gods, but the moogles had prepared for this by sending the mithra mirrors and placing magicite around the exit of the Hall. The paladin mithra goddess was happily staring at her flawless skin and her exquisite features while Dratian was too afraid to pass over the magicite. Songbird stood alone. Of course, she was unaware of this and continued to happily believe her friends would bring help�eventually, right? The moogles kept attacking but Songbird was able to hold the city.

As this was going on in other areas, the moogles tricked a Ryder into betraying their Mighty Leader. Zapata was offered a bet that he couldn�t get Vorkosigan into the bathroom for no reason. Zapata was a little short on gil and took the bet, knowing the moogles had money to spare. With a promise that he would let Vorkosigan try on a real pair of pants, Zapata got Vorkosigan into the bathroom. The moogles rushed in and used Animal Glue to keep the door shut. Zapata was thrown into the dungeon and forced to kweh kweh like a Chocobo or face the wrath of Thundarga XXV (a special race specific spell, Moogle only of course. The Moogle Emperor was released! Once again, he returned to his throne: a Tarutaru stoll on top of the actual seat of the throne�

Quickly he consolidated his rule. He did not make the mistake of forcing the Adventurers to rot in their houses once again. He knew that if this take over failed, he didn�t want to be responsible for THAT clean up again. Instead, he imprisoned them in the mog houses as the moogles had been. The Adventurers were forced to serve the moogles. He managed to keep the Adventurers placated with slices of pizza now and then and the continual promise that someday they would be allowed to eat all the cake they could eat.

The remaining survivors of the Rydersonthestorm made their way to Jeuno, dodging moogle patrols. In Jugner Forest, Sephy and Hellsmasher were disgusted to find that the moogles were forcing the Adventurers to Ballista for their entertainment. They watched the whole match, just to show how angry they really were . . . and they really, really wanted to know who would win.

Erinya and the rest of the mithra Ryders had made it back to Jeuno. They had been on Airship Patrol and so returned injured . . . not from battle but from bad driving. When they heard what had happened around the world, they decided something had to be done! Their Mighty Champion could not stay forever locked in a toilet! They would not be forced to float in mog houses and shout �Kupo� and spin whenever a moogle wanted to change a job! No, they would reclaim what was there�s! Again!

Erinya quickly planned a rescue and posted on the linkshell message board. �Vorkosigan rescue, Fri 6 pm pst All 55+ please come if uncaptured� The few remaining Ryders returned to Jeuno and waited for Friday. They waited through Monday and Tuesday. They started gambling on Wednesday and by Thursday they were chasing each other up and down the streets of Jeuno. On Thursday night, someone broke into the tavern in Upper Jeuno and there were drinks on the house! Of course, it was only Melon Juice. Finally Friday arrived, Songbird {/sigh}ed in relief to see them leave Jeuno. She couldn�t go as the stability of Jeuno depended on her . . . and she just knew Dratian and the paladin mithra goddess were on their way and would need directions.

In an amazing feat, Erinya led the Ryders to West Ronfaure and climbed up the mountainside to enter the sewers of San d�Oria. It was the first time in recorded history that an Adventurer, not a mob, had actually climbed a gentle-sloping cliff. With this feat under the Manthra�s belt, Erinya led the Ryders to the trap door that led into the dungeons. They once again climbed up the walls and emerged into the castle. They quickly found Zapata screaming, �Muurr, when will my wife be here?! Where is she?!� in some diluted, crazed state, and then, �Kweh kweh!� They freed him and calmed him so that he could point them to the correct bathroom, as each room of the Royal chambers had a bathroom. Once there, they knocked out the moogle guards with fishing poles and melted the animal glue with a Fire Crystal. Nozeate was very pleased as he not only got to rescue his Might Leader but also got to raise his smithing skill further. They knocked politely on the door, just to be sure, and opened it to discover Vorkosigan wearing pants! Despite being locked in the bathroom for an extraordinary amount of time Vorkosigan had decided to use the opportunity to wear pants. Although he loved his subligar in his soul he knew it was time for change, and so he changed. The Ryders gasped and continued on with the rescue.

Once Vorkosigan was free, the Ryders rushed from the castle, ran into Southern San d�Oria and took chocobos. There was some debate as to who was going to get to ride as there was nearly full alliance and only 3 chocobos in the stables and 2 out front in the pens. In the end, it didn�t really matter. As the 5 chosen Ryders left, more chocobos appeared in the stables! They quickly hurried back to Jeuno and safety.

Duchess Songbird was in very low spirits upon their arrival. No new Adventurers had been able to make it past the moogle siege and Dratian and the mithra paladin goddess had not arrived. She was happy to report that {Enemy}anubis had made it from Windurst, which still seemed free.

With no move to make, Rydersonthestorm decided to take a break and wait to see what options might open up to them. Consequently, they fought every night over who�s turn it was to light the lamps of Jeuno and had numerous snowball fights in Qufim Island. Duchess Songbird began experimenting with the magicite and discovered it made beautiful jewelry, which she began selling at an enormous profit (since the Adventurers had filled her storehouses with it and it had cost her nothing). With no throne to sit on Vorkosigan took to hanging out in Port Jeuno, dreaming of the days when he was King of the World. Rydersonthestorm members would pass by him and shout, �Long Live Vorkosigan our Might Leader!� which was a source of endless torture to him as it reminded him of what he had lost. {Enemy}anubis, Sephy, and Erinya began working on a plan, scrapping many ideas for planned invasions. Nothing was working until Cem, who was still spying on the Moogles, sent them a vital piece of information. With this they began making their plan. {Enemy}anubis seemed a little too happy about the information. Two days later they were sad to learn of Cem�s capture, and torture. Songbird wanted to send out a rescue party, but {Enemy}anubis advised against it. Erinya kept the Ryders informed by and lsmes but there wasn�t much to tell. Songbird was losing hope, Dratian and the mithra paladin goddess still hadnt come and worse rumors were circulating of their possible capture and death.

For now, it seemed, the moogles owned Vana�diel and Rydersonthestorm could do nothing . . .