Moogle Wars |
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Once upon a time there was a Moogle who was very busy. He had many Adventurers to take care of. He also had a problem, he manufactured Power Bows and had to get the adventurers to buy them. Fortunately his extensive family helped him by cutely asking for Power Bows for their fathers. In return they gave the adventurers extra space in their mog houses. The Moogle could not understand this as the adventurers had huge empty houses with lots of space already but he did not mind as it forced the sale of his Power Bows. His fortune grew and with it he was able to fund his plan for Moogle World Domination. (Just for Shimbo) The moogles took a shower. While the Adventurers were all focused on the {sky}, the Moogle was able to place bombs in the five countries of Vana�diel. The bombs went off simultaneously, killing the King of San D�Oria, the President of Bastok, the Star Sibyl of Windurst, the Duke of Jeuno, and the chieftainess of Kahzam. Moogles poured out of the mog houses taking all of the equipment and gil of the adventurers. Severely crippled and with no armor, the adventurers were forced to surrender. The Moogle immediately took away all {sky} access and ordered the adventurers to their home cities. They were put under house arrest and left to die in their mog houses. The Moogle was crowned Emperor of Vana�diel! There was no one left to stop him . . . The moogles of Jeuno surrendered when they saw Rydersonthestorm approaching. They missed cleaning the mog houses and preferred dust rags to daggers. With Jeuno and Windy under their control, things were starting to return to normal (except for the rotting smell of bodies in the mog houses and the frustrated sounds of moogles cleaning them out). The Ryders decided to liberate the best city of Vana�diel next: San d�Oria! They marched down to the walls of sandy but the moogles refused to surrender. It was a siege. The Rydersonthestorm linkshell and the goblins camped out in west and East Ronfaure. They survived on Wild Rabbits and Hares and the occasional Jaggety-Eared Jack. One of the members, who was especially fond of fish, was able to convince several of the ls members (and a few goblins) to raise their fishing skill in Knightswell Lake, thus avoiding any rabbit meat (=^_~=). After 48 days of waiting around, the Ryders were getting bored. They decided to have their champion challenge the Moogle Emperor in single combat for control of San d�Oria. They got together and voted and chose their champion. Vorkosigan the Mighty stepped forward, in his best, shiniest, brightest armor and subligar =>.<= The Ryders winced, but continued to support their champion. The Moogle Emperor flew over the walls and landed before him. He was dressed in a leather cap, a rabbit hide, and carrying a sword so small it looked like a tooth pick. Vorkosigan drew his Great Sword and prepared to defeat the Moogle Emperor. The Moogle flew in and poked Vorkosigan�s exposed shins, drawing blood. Vorkosigan swung about his huge sword, desperately trying to hit the Moogle, who continued his assault of the shins. The Ryders begin to get nervous. What if their champion lost? What if they too would rot in their mog houses? Just then, one Ryder decided to put an end to it all. Mylaa ran forward and slapped the Moogle Emperor shouting, �Bad Moogle, BAD!!!� The Moogle cried because the slap hurt and Mylaa was very loud and very angry. He surrendered to Vorkosigan, giving him the keys to the castle and his very tiny sword. With this victory, Vana�diel was mostly free. Ryders debated about saving Bastok, as it was not one of the great cities, according to some. In the end, the linkshell split into two alliances. One marched for Bastok under the leadership of Vorkosigan, the other marched for Kahzam under a nameless, Mithran paladin goddess. (=^_~=) In Bastok, the moogles had long since surrendered to the very scary Galka, who had managed to sit on one, killing it instantly at the beginning of the mog house massacres. After that, the moogles just didn�t want to anymore. The Galka refused to allow any Humes back into the city, as they were afraid they would once again enslave them. They did, however, set up tables in South Gustaberg to expedite the paperwork of Humes changing allegiance, mostly to Sandy and offered a 3 million gil bonus to any Tarutaru who would continue their study of magic in Bastok. The Mithra Paladin goddess took her troops, including many goblins, on the airships to Kahzam. As they airship operators had all been killed, and no one knew how to use them, the trip took several weeks, with lots of sudden falls and /shouts of �man overboard.� They found the Kahzam settlement fairly normal, as only the chieftainness had been killed and there were no mog houses to lock adventurers in. In fact, the Ryders made it worse, crashing into the dock as the paladin goddess screamed, �I can�t stop this thing!� It ended up well, as the airship has landed on the Wicked Moogle Emperor of the East. Stepping off the boat, the Mithra Paladin was heard to say, �They will beg for mercy from, Muurr, in boots!� The Kahzam mithra were delighted to be saved by another mithra but still demanded help in cleaning up the mess. The goblins promptly built a new dock with the promise that the paladin goddess would send out more adventurers. This finished, they took to the jungles. All parties of Rydersonthestorm linkshell members reconvened in San d�Oria. The Moogle Emperor of Vana�diel was locked away in the dungeons of Chateau d�Orilaioasfd, where he plotted his return. The Galka�s of Bastok quickly set up an exquisite ballet theatre. The Mithra of Kahzam took over the running of the airships. Enemyanubis returned to Windurst and declared it {Enemy}land, and runs a thriving business to this day, selling {Enemy}suits in {Enemy}fornia Adventures, with plans for expansion of Euro{Enemy}. Dratian was declared Duke of Jeuno but when he realized he had no idea what to do with all the magicite adventurers were bringing him, fled to the Hall of the gods, where he found the Mithra Paladin goddess carving her own image. Subsequently, Songbird became Duchess of Jeuno. Vorkosigan was declared King of the World, though the Galka of Bastok were suspicious of a Hume leader. And so, this story ends with a . . . ALL HAIL VORKOSIGAN, KING OF THE WORLD, OUR MIGHT LEADER!!!!!!!!!!! The end����������or is it? |
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