Many years ago, when I was a teenager, I had a kind of adopted grandfather. He was an aged River Thames Lighterman and he lived all alone in a special home provided by the Authority. I used to visit him once a week on a Friday until I went away to College, and then I could only get to see him in the holidays. When the Christmas break came round I returned home to London, and on the Friday I knew he would be waiting and hoping for my visit.
Now, this was the busy Friday before Christmas (I was a Christian then), and old Mr Manning had a habit of rambling on and on with his reminiscences. It was always difficult to make a get-away. I decided I could easily leave my visit until after Christmas, especially since my old pattern had been broken. I was too busy.
The day after Christmas I went round, feeling extremely mean and guilty. To my horror, the place was all shut up. There was nobody there. I asked around and discovered that the old man had died last Friday. For the rest of my life I have carried that burden of sadness with me, wondering whether it was the fact that he had been building up expectation for my visit and ended up in loneliness that had tipped him over the edge.
Life is full of 'if only's. If only I had gone when I was expected. If only I had not been too busy to be kind. If only��..But I didn�t do it, and the results were final.
Think about some of our other 'if only's. If only I hadn't said that particular thing to that particular person. If only I hadn�t been so selfish with my time. If only I hadn�t pushed someone off when they really needed my help. If only there was some way I could put right what I said, or what I did, or perhaps what I did not say or do.
Can you believe that actually happened to our own dear Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) once? He was always busy, of course, but on this particular occasion he was involved in an important discussion with some of the leading chiefs of Makkah, people who had chosen to be his enemies but now were at least giving him the chance to say something.
While this was going on, he was approached by someone he knew well, one of the early converts known as Ibn Umm Maktum. That meant � 'the son of the mother of the blind man.' His real name was Abdallah b. Qays. Because he could not see, Abdallah made it his business to learn each new revelation as it came to the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), and he wanted to speak to him urgently. However, the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) did not wish to be interrupted, and frowned, and turned away from him. Poor Abdallah.
But poor Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) too. He soon realised he had let his friend down, and Allah rebuked him for it. The words are preserved for ever in Surah Abasa; 80:
"(The Prophet) frowned and turned away, because the blind man came to him. But didn�t you know that perhaps he might grow (in spiritual understanding)? Or that he might have received an important lesson, and the teaching might have profited him. As to the one who thought he was self-sufficient, you attended to him � though it was not your fault that he did not grow (in spiritual understanding). But as to the one who came to you earnestly seeking and with reverence, of him you were unmindful. It should not be so!"
[Surah al-Abasa; 80:1-11].
For the rest of his life, the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) gave this man great honour, sometimes making him the prayer-leader of Madinah while he was away. And he usually greeted him with the humble words: 'Greetings to the one on whose behalf my Lord rebuked me!'
So, if it even happened to our Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), we can be sure it will happen sooner or later to us, and we will feel bad about it too.
However, is it really true that 'if only' will have to make us guilty for the rest of our lives? Actually, no. We can always put right whatever it is we have done or not done. We can always do something to make up for it in some way.
Firstly, that hardest of all things � an apology � might be called for. Even if the offended person does not forgive us, at least we will have made the right effort to put things right, and an apology usually does work, alhamdulillah. Then, we may need to take some action, or do something, to make up for our bad thing.
A wife often says she knows when her husband has done something wrong and is feeling guilty, because he brings her a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates. That husband is trying to put things right. Perhaps we should think of how we ought to find ways of giving little rewards to people, little gifts that will make them pleased and happy. Some husbands never give their wives anything, unlike the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), who delighted in making his family happy. Sometimes we never think of our mothers or fathers, except to grumble about them.
Here�s something else that happened to me, only a few weeks ago. I am an old lady now, and my Dad is over eighty. I don�t live near him, but many miles away. To my dismay, I discovered he had gone to his Church to listen to a lecture, when suddenly he did not feel very well, and passed out. An ambulance was called, and he was whisked off to hospital. Luckily for me, there was nothing serious wrong, and he soon recovered and went home. But supposing...
You see, our chances to put things right, or do things, have a limited time. I think and hope that I am going to be able to finish writing this article, but I might have a heart attack this very minute and never get to the end of it.
Every single breath you take is a gift from Allah, and you do not have any �rights� to the next breath. Moreover, only Allah knows how many breaths He has granted to you, or anyone else.
The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) used to say something rather strange to his Companions � 'Remember Death Often.' This did not mean they were to go round in a state of depression and misery all the time, but to think like a Muslim � who is always aware that life is a gift from Allah, and He could require it of us at any moment. Death nearly always comes at a time people do not expect, and usually when they are not at all ready for it.
So, the cheerful side of it is that awareness of God is a great Motivator. It should not make us miserable, but so happy that we are able to have time in which to do things, to put things right, to make sure that the people we love know that we love them, and that we are sorry when we have done something wrong.
Summer holidays are coming up, when at last we can have a rest from school and all its pressures. Let�s take the time to motivate ourselves towards greater awareness of Allah�s precious gifts to us � our parents, our families, our friends, our talents, our chances in life, even our life itself.
People say: 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.' Others say: 'Real life is what is happening while you are busy planning something else.' They are both very true. And this is very good advice � 'Live every day as if it was your last.' And finally: 'Love as though you were going to live forever; live as though you were going to die tonight.'
It doesn�t mean 'Be miserable!', but make sure you are really living, and not just letting your precious Time pass you by while you are stuck to the 'box', growing into a couch-potato.
God bless you.
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