| Phallus In Wonderland |
| This is really 2 albums in 1 ! It contains a compilation collection of Mutant tracks written after Tubular Bellend and the EP '23,000 nimble dwarves, handbag and zapp!' which is a long-lost masterpiece only recenly discovered in the tape library at UTR studios. 'Phallus' Contains the festive track 'Santa's Coming' as well as Dr Longstaff's travelling freak show' which chronicles the lives of Longstaff's freaks and allows the tales of their plight to be told in their own words. Hear the voices of Ken the torso man (see website titlepage), The siamese twins, Half man half woman, the wibbly wobbly contortionist to name but a few! |
| Tracks Dr Longstaff�s travelling Freak Show Chip van Winkle DIY Nathe The Love God Cap�n Japeye Orchestra of Gnomes Santa�s Coming The Style of a Dog The Rubber-gloved Arms 23000 nimble dwarves, handbag and zapp part 1 Cheggars Part 2 Something weird Part 3 I�m Made of Plastic Part 4 Silver Spaceship Part 5 I Turned into a Freak Part 6 Heartbeat (parts 2,3 & 4 are on one long track coz they blend in to each other in true concept album style) |
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| This deformed albatros will be replaced by the album cover. |
| Lyrics will appear here a song at a time when I can be arsed |
'Handbag' is a concept album but I'm not quite sure what the concept is. It is very ahead of it's time and is highly original. Drugs, surround sound and extreme volume are preferable when listening to it. |
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| A cap'n japeye toy made by a sicko. It doesn't look anything like him, what a crap toy. |
| Cap'n Japeye Come hither little girls and boys and stow away with me Come aboard my pirate ship and I'll show you the wicked ways of the sea. I'm an old scurvy dog cap'n Japeye's my name My fine fishy fingers brought me fortune and fame I've bought a crew of children I'm a happy old soul A weapon in my mouth, Jolly Rogers on my pole! Scull and cross phallus it is my flag The botswain and cabin boy are queens of drag Taste the salt, your fingers walk my plank Hoist the mainsail, give that chord a yank. If you're a naughty little scallywag my boy, Cat of nine tails be my favourite toy. Scrub the decks, polish my man-canon I want you lashed on the cap'ns table Eat my cod piece with it's golden crumb My little bite size morsel of fun. Hello sailor, you're my main course! |